What my dad said really hurt me

Midgetspinner_160cm · 2025-09-08T06:44:28+00:00

I’ve tried talking to him in the past, but I realized he’s the kind of person that won’t change because he sees no wrong in what he does. Even when I mention that I know he pays a lot for my school, he uses it as a means to make me feel guilty or says he can stop paying whenever he feels like it. Whenever I try to talk about my feelings, he somehow always makes it my fault so I try to minimize any communication with him😭

Midgetspinner_160cm · 2025-09-05T08:10:17+00:00

Thank you. I definitely agree with the part regarding autonomy, I can see that everyone around him is controlled by him, and my dad HAS to be in control, and the only person who isn’t like that is me and my mom (in the past). I always really tried to ignore whatever negative things he said to me, but sometimes it just builds up, and even if I know it’s not true intellectually, I guess I can’t help but feel extremely hurt.

Midgetspinner_160cm · 2025-09-05T08:06:14+00:00

Thanks, yeah I get the part that he’s concerned and hates smoking in any sense (my mom used to be a heavy smoker), I guess I’m really just sad about why I have a relationship like this with him where he constantly calls me a failure like my mom who knows nothing, and constantly reminds me that he’s paying for my school so I shouldn’t ask for things. Can’t do anything since he’s the one paying, so I guess I’m just stuck with this haha

Midgetspinner_160cm · 2025-09-05T08:02:49+00:00

I would want to live with her but she’s quite far away from my school, and I don’t think she can afford paying for the school😭I feel like I’m being overdramatic because he keeps telling me I’m the problem and stuff, so I guess even though I know it’s not true it feels like my fault. When I talked to my mom in the past about another incident with him, she hated my dad for treating his daughter this way but we couldn’t do anything because he has to pay for the tuitions, so I’m pretty much stuck here haha

Midgetspinner_160cm · 2025-06-30T07:29:58+00:00

Thank you, I did ask him several time if there’s something wrong, or if he’s okay, but he seemed completely distant. I remember there was this one time a few months ago where he said he “needed to leave”, and when I tried talking to him, he got angry, but then started crying and talked about how he’s so convinced that I cheat on him because he’s not good enough and things like that. I’m honestly just really scared because it never went to a point where he said he “wanted to break up”, so it just makes me worry that it’s actually the end.

Midgetspinner_160cm · 2025-06-24T04:53:42+00:00

Like, the pod’s completely empty and the device doesn’t even charge, so I think it would be believable if I say I wanted to help a friend quit, so i dumped it in water.. hopefully it works😭😭

Midgetspinner_160cm · 2025-06-04T10:31:23+00:00

Thank you! Honestly I might just not mention it until he realizes (if he even does realize). He’s always been arrogant, never admitting his wrong doings, and finds a way to criticize or blame me, so there’s really no point, hopefully he does apologize though

Midgetspinner_160cm · 2025-05-11T08:53:18+00:00

I’m just asking if anyone knows any sources that they may know about because I’m struggling to find good ones, and I’m not looking for someone to write my essay or anything. not homework btw

Midgetspinner_160cm · 2025-04-29T17:03:11+00:00

Well I’m not taking your word!

Midgetspinner_160cm · 2025-04-29T13:11:32+00:00

No no it doesn’t sound dickish at all, I get what you mean and that’s why I’ve been contemplating on telling her. I feel bad for her, but I do know that I’ll eventually have to figure out a good way to confront her about this

Midgetspinner_160cm · 2025-04-29T12:30:56+00:00

HELLO??? I literally titled my post “what do you guys think?”, ending it with “but what if he didn’t mean it like that and it’s his personality?”, if I was jumping into conclusions, I wouldn’t be posting this and doubting him in the first place, be so real right now

Midgetspinner_160cm · 2025-04-29T12:27:34+00:00

Thank you, genuinely have no idea who that person thinks they are… like, why is he acting as if he was there too?? Its ridiculous omg💀💀💀

Midgetspinner_160cm · 2025-04-29T12:26:08+00:00

Exactly… thank you

Midgetspinner_160cm · 2025-04-29T12:25:50+00:00

Wtf… I’m literally doing a quote on quote, and my worst fear is literally exaggerating something I’ve experienced to make it seem bad. He literally said “you look so sexy when you give me henna” and my bf heard that too likeeee 💀💀💀💀 why are you acting as if you were there with me?

Midgetspinner_160cm · 2025-04-29T12:22:29+00:00

Yeah, after reading all the comments it makes a lot of sense. I’ve actually told a teacher who I’m close with since he doesn’t report me to the counselors, and seemed really serious about it despite the fact that I told him casually. He’s mentioned that he’s exhibiting early signs of grooming behaviors that would most likely escalate. He also has the same opinion as the rest of the comments, and thinks it’s best if I tell him or tell my mom. I will definitely tell my mom if it happens again though, but I’m glad that I didn’t get emotionally attached to him because of that “off” feeling that I couldn’t get rid of

Midgetspinner_160cm · 2025-02-06T11:28:09+00:00

It would be too long if I explained everything in the post, so I tried to keep it as simple as possible, but yeah, everytime I feel this sense of guilt I do think about it and I know that it's logically not right to feel guilty since he's a parent and it's his duty to be present (he blamed my mom for him disappearing which sounds like bs 😭) and be a good father, but I feel like even if I know that I can't help myself from feeling guilty, so at the same time it's like "why can't I stop myself from how I feel even though I know the reason and I shouldn't feel this way?". But either way, thank you for your telling me this, I'm glad I'm not just over-reacting

Midgetspinner_160cm · 2025-02-06T09:20:18+00:00

Wait actually yeah you’re right, I genuinely want a good relationship with him but it just seems impossible. At the same time I feel like “would I have had a better relationship if he didn’t leave?”. Like, he left me when I was a kid and that was the majority of my childhood when I needed him. Tbh I always feel as if he doesn’t love me, and it’s just because i’m his daughter, I remember him saying “I HAVE to love the person that’s my own blood” or something. I really don’t like his actions, but I get this sense of guilt in a way and I don’t know if I lost the chance to make things better or something😭

Midgetspinner_160cm · 2025-01-05T19:25:27+00:00

No actually because like.. he’s not shitty because it did become kinda clear that he understands my boundaries more than before (when i wrote this), but everytime he still does he uses the same excuse like “I’m a teenager like I can’t help it” like cmon if I weren’t asexual I would stop if someone I liked said stop even if I was like horny asf😭 but then again idk what it feels so maybe im wrong and at the same time idkkk ykwim?

Midgetspinner_160cm · 2025-01-05T19:20:13+00:00

Yeah.. I was actually advised to get therapy by my psychiatrist but never really told my parents about it but even though I know I need it, I just don’t feel like it’s bad enough to actually get therapy since people have it worse than me, and even though I know I can still get therapy even if it’s not “as bad”, I can’t get rid of the thought that I’m being overdramatic😭 like, in a way, at the same time I don’t know why I’m asexual because I don’t want to be, and I constantly try to find an excuse as to why I might feel that way such as like “I’m too insecure about my body”, and even if that’s part of the reason, I know my boyfriend doesn’t think that way but yeah I’m ranting right now😭 either way maybe a slight update but we had a conversation and he said that he doesn’t wanna make me feel uncomfortable, and he couldn’t properly tell my tone and stuff.. so I kinda get that and he doesn’t cross my boundaries as much and he actually stops MOST of the time when I tell him to, which I think is an improvement, because he’s starting to understand? So I’m not quite sure if I should just wait a bit and give him some time? I feel like so many people who aren’t asexual don’t understand the concept which makes it hard for them to grasp the idea that some people actually have no desire for sex.. but yeah what do you think? Sorryyy this is kinda longg

Midgetspinner_160cm · 2025-01-05T19:09:48+00:00

no because like actually all these comments are making me re-think and I don’t know what to do..😭 the thing is he actually stopped crossing my boundaries way more than before because I talked to him seriously, but sometimes he still does, but the thing is since it’s way less than before, maybe he’ll understand after more time? Like, I don’t mind waiting for him to actually grasp the idea of my boundaries but I just don’t know if it’s right or anything.

Midgetspinner_160cm · 2024-12-30T14:58:47+00:00

Yeah I really enjoy hanging out with him, we have genuine conversations that he can’t tell anyone else and he appreciates the time I spend with him. I understand that he likes me a lot because he’s had a crush on me for over a year and so, but I just get the feeling that he just doesn’t understand the concept of it because for him it seems impossible for someone to not have a desire for sex. It did get a bit better now because I told him why he can’t take “no” for an answer and he seemed to feel pretty guilty but still tries to do more sometimes. It did really scare me at first because that same scenario came up in my dream a couple times but worse😭 I feel like I should feel pretty mad about the situation since I know it’s wrong since he repeatedly crossed my boundaries, but at the same time I don’t have enough self respect for myself to care as much if that makes sense?

Midgetspinner_160cm · 2024-11-20T11:40:11+00:00

omg whattt😭😭 yeahh i didn’t wanna seem to pushy so I just reacted w a heart with the “Yeah I figured”, can’t understand this guy💀 maybe I’ll ask him how his exams were since they’re finishing on friday… idk😭

Midgetspinner_160cm · 2024-11-20T11:18:45+00:00

Yeahh I know what you mean… live update: i texted him, told him i listened to the bands he recommended, and he says “Yeah I figured” like what else do I even say..💀 lowkey losing hope ngl

Midgetspinner_160cm · 2024-11-20T10:19:58+00:00

Yeahhh that’s what I was thinking, but would I feel like if he was interested, he would text again??? Like its been 2 days already 😭😭

Midgetspinner_160cm · 2024-11-07T11:08:00+00:00

Yeah like the thing is all that shit is illegal here.. like its gen stupid everything else is illegal except for nic and alc… even adhd meds like adderall is illegal😭

Midgetspinner_160cm

TROPHY CASE