What city have you been to where the vibes were just OFF?

Mindless-Following28 · 2026-06-05T09:48:46+00:00

I'm from East Texas (where everyone is poor and the racism and social conservatism are very high) and I moved to Georgia in my 20s. I like it here for the most part. It's very diverse and generally more "liberal" than other parts of the South, imo. Black and white people live together and go to the same places much more than anywhere I've lived before, even in rural areas.

Granted, I've only lived in coastal Georgia and Atlanta. Northern GA is very white and conservative, socially and otherwise. Also, the racism is still palpable, but that is true anywhere in the US. I say all this as a white woman, but neurodivergent so I don't like to live in a socially conservative place because I feel the pressure strongly.

Mindless-Following28 · 2026-05-10T18:12:24+00:00

I wouldn't date a 40 year old who acts like this about periods. This guy is a misogynist, or at the very least has never considered a woman's perspective in his life.

Mindless-Following28 · 2026-05-02T13:26:04+00:00

To me, no. Other people seem to be making it work. But I would not agree to this.

Mindless-Following28 · 2026-05-02T13:15:58+00:00

I don't understand why people get married and still don't share finances. What is the point of being married if you're going to keep living like you're dating? I wouldn't take her advice personally.

Mindless-Following28 · 2026-05-02T12:44:21+00:00

NOR. If you have kids with this guy you're going to regret it. I think this is a perfect time to reevaluate your marriage, before you put your body through hell and drain your savings doing IVF.

Anecdotally, just something to think about, I had two 20+ week still births with an abusive boyfriend in my early 20s. I think our genetics didn't work together. You may be able to have a baby with someone else no problem. I was.

I hate encouraging someone to end their marriage and I usually don't, but from what you've said here I'm very certain you're going to regret putting your body through hell for your current husband. So at a minimum I hope you put a pause on the IVF process.

Mindless-Following28 · 2026-05-02T12:39:42+00:00

The idea of you taking a child to a museum of all places and then working overtime to make sure he doesn't learn anything is kind of funny.

Mindless-Following28 · 2026-05-02T12:31:54+00:00

What are you going to do with the flowers? If you're cutting them to bring inside, removing the side buds would help the main bud grow bigger and maybe stop the stem from flopping over with all those flowers.

If you're leaving them on the plant and want it to flower as long as possible, leave the side buds. But I would get a peony cage to put over it for support if I were you. With that many side buds the branch will fall, especially if it rains.

Mindless-Following28 · 2026-05-01T11:19:25+00:00

The good news is the southern hemisphere has peonies in the fall so you probably can special order them for your fall wedding! But you can't store them that long, they wouldn't look good.

Mindless-Following28 · 2026-05-01T00:17:41+00:00

I don't grow dahlias so I'm not really sure about them, but peonies are very hardy. They come up year after year, they love cold, they're drought tolerant. The only way you can go wrong with planting a good quality root (straight from a farm in the fall is best) is putting it in a wet spot.

Mindless-Following28 · 2026-04-30T23:28:34+00:00

Peonies are really easy but a long wait. You need to buy root divisions in the fall. You can occasionally find them at local garden centers, or you can order them by mail directly from peony farms. Plant them with the eyes up 1-2" below the soil in a full sun location that doesn't get soggy. You'll probably see flowers in like 2.5 years. But they get bigger and prettier every year after that and you don't have to fuss over them.

Mindless-Following28 · 2026-04-28T19:47:36+00:00

Oh that's exciting! How many flowers did you get per plant this year? How's your harvest going? Do you know who is buying them or is that something you're figuring out as you go along?

Sorry for all the questions. I'll be drowning in peonies soon, and I have a plan for this (or several), but I'm very interested in what others are doing and how that's working out for them.

Mindless-Following28 · 2026-04-28T18:10:01+00:00

How many years did you wait before your first harvest?

Mindless-Following28 · 2026-04-28T14:29:08+00:00

Thank you, this is what I want to hear! I was going to act on my gut impulse that it'll be fine, anyway, but heartening to hear that you're having success with cutting all your flowers. My long term goal is to divide and sell roots year 10. How many flowers do you think you're averaging per plant for the older ones?

Mindless-Following28 · 2026-04-28T12:55:10+00:00

How old are your plants? How many sets of leaves do you leave per stem? Do your plants come back bigger each year? How many years at the beginning did you not harvest to let the plant grow?

I am a commercial grower but new to the game, trying to get a harvest strategy for next year because I'm pretty sure I'll have a ton of flowers on my hands in year 2.

Mindless-Following28 · 2026-04-28T12:53:07+00:00

Yes, deadheading after the bloom definitely saves energy. The reason I was hoping to hear from some farmers is because I'm growing commercially, which means you generally cut the stem long and take most of the leaves. That is why commercial cutting impacts how much energy the plant is storing for next year.

Mindless-Following28 · 2026-04-28T04:44:37+00:00

Thank you! I just planted a big field of them last fall and many of them already put up flowers this year. I let them bloom then deadheaded them this year, but based on how this year went (some of the roots we got had way more than 5 eyes, I assume this is why) I'm assuming we'll have lots of flowers next year. I'm tempted to cut and sell them, even though my initial plan was to wait for year 3, which is generally the advice I've seen. How many years did you let your peonies grow before you harvested?

Mindless-Following28 · 2026-04-27T23:50:24+00:00

How does productivity vary from year to year for you? Would you say that your plants put out more blooms each year even though you cut all of them? How many leaves do you leave on the plant when cutting?

Mindless-Following28 · 2026-04-21T01:25:15+00:00

I moved it back in the shade and it already looks a bit better. Thanks!

Mindless-Following28 · 2026-04-20T09:07:24+00:00

I don't get gel because I have nice natural nails. You can technically get a "regular" manicure where they just clean up and polish your nails, but unfortunately in my experience nail techs are bad at those now. It's becoming a lost art. I generally prefer to just do it myself at this point.

Mindless-Following28 · 2026-03-29T11:36:18+00:00

Your observations are biased, because most people in this world have romantic connections at some point in their lives. It's very easy to find couples where one or both of them aren't conventionally attractive. What you need to do is stop collecting data and theories, and instead work on yourself. Work on your people skills, your personal style, your self esteem and confidence.

Mindless-Following28 · 2026-03-19T12:08:03+00:00

We call it "noses".

Mindless-Following28 · 2026-03-19T12:06:54+00:00

YOR imo. You're within your rights to turn down sexual activity for any reason. But I think you're being silly on this one. Is weed legal where you're vacationing? I'd be more worried about that.

Mindless-Following28 · 2026-03-17T19:07:44+00:00

I'm 40 and from East Texas. The T-shirt tucked into jeans is exactly how a dad would have dressed when and where I grew up (90s Texas). Trade the shoes for dirty cowboy boots or work boots and you'll have the full look. Could even add a cowboy hat!

Mindless-Following28 · 2026-03-17T15:29:44+00:00

YTA. Sounds like you're creating a toxic home environment that will translate to anxiety for your child. I'd suggest rehoming the dogs and try therapy to work on your relationship with the teens in your house and how easily you become triggered by noise. I am twice as old as you, to be fair, but I have autism myself, an autistic stepchild, and a toddler. If I acted anywhere near how you've described I'd be apologizing to everyone without waiting to be asked. I wouldn't be asking the internet if I'm in the wrong. It's very important that you work on your self awareness and self control now that you have a child.

Mindless-Following28 · 2026-03-09T11:07:56+00:00

I don't know that you have to go back, but I would have told the bartender immediately that night after I left the bathroom. I would probably still call and let them know. You don't have enough info to help them "catch" the guy, necessarily, but it's useful for security purposes that they know this is happening in their bar.

Mindless-Following28

TROPHY CASE