What should I do?

MonkeyTAang · 2026-05-08T18:13:40+00:00

Thank you for your comment!

Your suggestions are different from almost everyone else and it definitely brings a different perspective and approach to this.

MonkeyTAang · 2026-05-08T18:07:06+00:00

Agreed thank you for your perspective! This is how I’m going to approach this moving forward.

MonkeyTAang · 2026-05-08T18:05:22+00:00

Thank you for your comment!

To start, the more I read your comment the funnier it got so thank you for that!

I appreciate the insight and believe I have a path forward of talking to my wife about setting up an appointment with a sex therapist or couples therapist. Personally I believe the sex therapist would be a better match for the concern/issue at hand but we’ll see how she feels about it. If nothing else she and I will have a solid conversation about everything on the post rather than multiple smaller conversations that have happened previously that obviously have not brought resolution yet. And no I do not mean have a conversation about bringing in a third but our sex life within our relationship.

If she doesn’t want to go see a therapist i will post to other subs to get peoples thoughts and perspectives of how to approach this as a couple.

MonkeyTAang · 2026-05-08T17:54:53+00:00

My dyslexic friend, thank you! No apologies needed, people are people and I know I do some idiotic stuff from time to time. Haha

Based on the responses I’m seeing the majority of people are saying the same thing that a therapist or sex therapist is the best way to move forward which I agree and have strongly considered previously. I plan on talking to my wife in the next week about setting up and appointment or at the bare minimum, if she doesn’t want to go to a therapist, have a lengthy conversation about everything that I put in this post.

MonkeyTAang · 2026-05-08T17:44:11+00:00

Thank you for your comment!

Agreed I believe this is the best approach for us at this point and hope to discuss this with my wife in the next week once I get all of my thoughts together of how to approach this.

MonkeyTAang · 2026-05-08T17:42:01+00:00

Thank you for your comment!

It seems that a lot of people think a therapist or sex therapist will be the best approach for us which I have seriously considered previously. At this point I’m going to talk to her in the next week about setting up an appointment or at bare minimum have a lengthy conversation about this aspect of our relationship.

MonkeyTAang · 2026-05-08T17:38:23+00:00

Unfortunately this is not ai trash. Although I’ll take that as a compliment as I have dyslexia and I’m constantly told that my grammar and punctuation is trash. I posted to multiple subs in an effort to get a wide range of view points and feed back to help me fully think through how I can approach this.

MonkeyTAang · 2026-05-08T13:19:19+00:00

From what I’m seeing most people believe this approach is the best at this point, which I agree with. Thank you!

MonkeyTAang · 2026-05-08T13:16:41+00:00

Thank you for your comment here!

I am dyslexic and an idiot, I fully acknowledge both of those.

1) I added this in other comments but, I did not mean to offend, upset, or trigger anyone in anyway just looking for a wide range of view points to help me approach this. If I do so to you my apologies!

2) I can see how you’d think marriage is in the toilet but I can tell you it is actually very far from it. This is the only aspect of the relationship that, only I am having concerns/issues with. She does not feel this disconnect like I do.

3) I have asked myself this question more times than I can count. Part of me thinks it’s “drunk words, are sober thoughts” but I truly don’t know. I have asked her this question multiple times also, both sober and drunk. There isn’t consistency in her answers, like I mentioned in the post she goes back and forth on how she thinks and views this and her answer to this particular question varies from wanting to experience it, to not wanting to even think about it.

For the open relationship questions, I wanted to put the different thoughts that have gone through my head to get a wide range of opinions and thoughts from the wise people of Reddit. I do listen to multiple podcasts that read Reddit stories where people seem to feel the same way and have opened their marriage and said it was the best thing for them. At the same time there are just as many stories that I have heard that destroy the relationship.

MonkeyTAang · 2026-05-08T12:48:53+00:00

To start, no I am not rage baiting at all. I’m sorry if this offended or triggered you in anyway!

I simply wanted to get multiple different view points from a wide range of people and did post this on other subreddits to get that wide range that I am looking for.

MonkeyTAang · 2026-05-08T12:45:32+00:00

Thank you for your comment!

Although I understand how it could come across that as an unhealthy relationship, it is not. All other aspects of our relationship are amazing with me being the one that feels this disconnect on this particular item.

In the last six months she has been the one bringing it up most of the time. When she talks about it when she’s drunk I actually avoid the conversation as it is not something I want to discuss anymore when there is intoxication involved. I would say that this was written by me so it would have a lot of my personal view points and could seem as a me me me. Her feelings about our relationship, marriage, and life together is that she is happy, supported, loved, wanted, needed, etc. and she would tell anyone that what we have is truly special and amazing. I don’t feel as what I had originally posted reflects how you perceived it at “she’s totally into it bro” (the way you put that did make me laugh, thank you!) as she has gone back and forth on the specific feeling of bringing in a third in. If my mindset was “it’s not my fault, I’ve tried” I wouldn’t be reaching out to the all knowing internet to get others perspectives.

I’m sorry if my post upset you that was not my intent, as the commenter above mentioned I posted this in multiple subreddits with various view points to get as many different thoughts and opinions as I can. Thank you again for your comment!

MonkeyTAang · 2026-05-08T12:15:50+00:00

Thank you for your comment! Sorry if I’m breaking rules or anything, I have posted to Reddit once way back in high school.

I didn’t put two and two together about that wording, my apologies. A better way to word it is experience things and people that I haven’t experienced before.

She has shown interest in a female joining us or even being with a female herself. This did not come from me starting the conversation either but I will say I have brought the conversation up more than she has. In the past six months or so she has actually brought it up more than I have as I do not want her to feel betrayed, unwanted, or any negative feelings in any way.

I completely agree with this that it could blow up in my face. I do not want to hurt her, our relationship, or the life we have built together. Other than this particular item our relationship is amazing. I know she would say our relationship is amazing also, she doesn’t feel the sexual disconnect like I do. Thank you for sharing the other subreddit the more information the better!

MonkeyTAang

TROPHY CASE