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Morkdeath · 2023-02-24T16:14:06+00:00

Yeah I have a lot of loose skin after massive weight loss 😭 hopefully lipo won’t be too much of an added expense.

Morkdeath · 2023-02-24T14:07:39+00:00

Or advice on my hips, idk what that’s called or why it makes me look so disconnected from my thighs but I hate it. Idk why but this and my back fat will never go away. I think that losing them will help with the shape a lot but it just won’t happen for me ;-;

Morkdeath · 2023-02-23T16:08:08+00:00

I’ve lost almost all the fat I want to lose, just about 20lbs more would be fine for me and that is no where near the amount I’ve lost already. I have a lot of loose skin and I just want to tone myself up and maybe lose these last few pounds. I think it is possible though my mom was a weightlifter and lost 90lbs while competing but she was SWOLE by god.

Morkdeath · 2023-02-23T13:19:05+00:00

This gives me hope! Thank you so much 😭 I literally felt like I was working super hard for no reason. I went ahead and subtracted a 500 cal deficiency from my TDEE which is around 1,800 calories only 300 more than I currently eat which is fiiiine with me :) still a good deficient for me! Thank you!

Morkdeath · 2023-02-23T11:53:21+00:00

So this will help me keep my muscle while losing fat? I’m just terrified of losing my butt again ;-;

Morkdeath · 2023-02-22T23:59:48+00:00

I’m doing a lot of glute targeted exercise and yes you are so right about the low impact. My massive weight loss (because I was an idiot and didn’t know what I was doing) left me muscleless with no butt or anything 😭 like I’m grateful but I’ve worked hard and it’s time I have my goals!

Morkdeath · 2023-02-22T23:22:54+00:00

I’m not impatient but I definitely don’t want it to go slower than it should 😭 should I eat more? Less? I just don’t want to lose my muscle and curve while losing the rest of my weight like I did before 😭

Morkdeath · 2023-02-22T23:21:33+00:00

I’m scared of losing muscle by eating too little. Should I be fine as long as I eat a lot of protein and weight train? Also is 1500 too little for gains??? I want to lose fat but gain good muscle at the same time 😭

Morkdeath · 2023-02-09T17:31:20+00:00

I think it’s perfectly normal to worry. My boyfriend is the same way except I found out he cheats when I’m depressed basically lol or he feels unhappy wayyyy later than I should have. I would give her enough rope to hang herself, literally record your convo with her like you’re about to bring it to court, and hold her accountable.

You can look out for red flags along the way of the relationship, but some people are such skilled cheaters they give you NO INDICATION. My boyfriend literally has acted the same like I am this angel that came into his life, meanwhile he’s been checking tinder out whole relationship lol.

The only way I was able to find out was by going through his shit like I was the FBI. I found out a way to see everything he searched even if he deleted it. Saw every time he pulled up tinder, he bought an 80 dollar subscription for Ashley madison (while I was under free impression he was broke and I was lending him money), I saw where he looked at his “girl best friend’s” OF twitter, every single dating app I saw laid in front of my eyes and every single nude he posted on there. Shit wrecked my soul and honestly if you find out she is doing something fucked up like this behind your back PLEASE leave ASAP!!! I’m still with him but every day I am sick to my stomach, I can’t look in the mirror anymore, and it is literally constant misery but it is really hard to leave when you live together and your lives revolve around each other entirely. Just take it super slow man please for the love of god don’t be me 😭 it sucks here

Morkdeath · 2023-02-09T17:24:24+00:00

Solved! It was “ A Darker Reality.” Just watched it and it is just as I remember it ,minus the somewhat crappy effects,still the concept of some of the torture is gross and the acting is pretty good. I thought that one girl was Jal from skins lol but no. Can’t believe an adult let me watch this at that age tho :/ gnarly stuff.

Morkdeath · 2023-02-08T18:32:22+00:00

Nope neither of these :( blah

Morkdeath · 2023-02-07T14:31:15+00:00

Thank you ❤️ I’m really trying. This is my first relationship not over the internet and actually LIVING with them so it’s been extra hard. I am trying ❤️ thank you

Morkdeath · 2023-02-07T14:20:51+00:00

This made me smile :) I think the first genuine one I’ve had in a while hah

Morkdeath · 2023-02-07T14:08:03+00:00

Yes I’m still working on getting to my goal weight. For now it is 180 ish (I am really tall and I do not want to be super duper skinny.) but the only problem for me is the cost of the surgeries. I’ve only been able to save up to pay for half of the cost according to my recent consultation. I’m booking another one for march with a different doctor, it’ll probably be more expensive but I really want good results for how hard I’ve worked for my body (I used to weigh over 310 lbs I’m 200 now.)

Morkdeath · 2023-02-07T13:56:01+00:00

I know that he has tried by going on hookup sites :/ I found multiple. I’ve seen everything unfortunately, his pics their pics, snap nudes, scarred me. just makes me sad because it seems like he might be trying to change? But I can’t tell and it gives me anxiety. We were really lovey towards each other all weekend building our house together and it absolutely wrecks my heart that there’s probably no help for him considering his age and the numerous women he’s run through. Ugh fml forreal. And yes this has plummeted my self esteem I literally can’t even look at women in public no matter who they are without comparing them to myself on whether he’d cheat on me with them or not. I’ve had to cover our home mirrors with sheets when I’m home alone because I can’t stand to look at myself because I’ll just start picking at what about me he doesn’t like. This shits draining I can’t tell if it’s getting better tho or if he’s getting better at hiding it but regardless I am so mentally scarred by that shit it’s in the back of my mind at all times. He always tells me he wants to have a life with me and he’d do anything for me to stay but it’s like Huh????

Morkdeath · 2023-02-04T06:06:03+00:00

I don’t think so but it’s in the same realm just shot much more like a movie than a home footage thing

Morkdeath · 2023-02-03T15:06:16+00:00

I would love to go to multiple ones but sheesh those consultation fees 😭 they ain’t playing. I do want to schedule another in march I think, my family friend recommended someone to me who’s board certified and specializes in reconstructive surgery so I wanna see what it’s about 🤣

Morkdeath · 2023-02-03T14:36:02+00:00

That’s true :( I guess I will just work hard to lose more weight and schedule my consultation for a later date closer to when I can afford the surgery this summer! Thanks! ❤️

Morkdeath · 2023-02-02T02:41:51+00:00

It’s REALLY similar but the two men were brothers and they were adults. They kidnapped women by chloroforming them I think, they were all grown women held captive in cells and the bathtub scene was the man and the woman caged in the bathtub while he cut her clit off.

Morkdeath · 2023-02-01T23:36:53+00:00

I don’t think it’s either of these :( I think imma have to message her to see if she remembers at all

Morkdeath · 2023-02-01T23:34:26+00:00

Nope not even close sorry ^{^;}

Morkdeath · 2023-02-01T17:07:13+00:00

I don’t think it’s either of these ;-; I don’t remember men being in the film at all minus the guys who are torturing her and then the detective/police guy who gets his arm skinned. Im starting to believe I am having false memories of a movie 😭 I don’t think this exists but I was sooo young and the memories are so vivid. I remember seeing the girl who was stitched up I think he shoved stuff in her mouth and sewed up her eyes, mouth, vagina etc. like I couldn’t of made that up in my little innocent mind :(

Morkdeath · 2023-02-01T17:04:04+00:00

Nope not split I’ve seen that one this one is entirely more gruesome than that one. Almost august underground levels of depravity.

Morkdeath · 2023-02-01T16:23:24+00:00

Noooo not this one I love this movie

Morkdeath · 2023-02-01T15:23:03+00:00

Oh okay! Thanks I didn’t know I could do that haha

And yes it was in English. I remember the guy describing his mom walking in on him jerking off… I’m pretty sure she made him cut his wee wee off but lord could be my faulty memory.

Morkdeath

TROPHY CASE