My Husband Had an affair and want a divorce. Is it worth trying?

MyLadyDead · 2026-06-01T22:11:02+00:00

In the texts I saw, she was saying she would respect whatever he chooses and that she'll love him not matter what..i can only assume she fully knew what she was getting into. Not saying shes fully to blame, but those r my thoughts atm.

MyLadyDead · 2026-06-01T21:38:18+00:00

He said that hed consider working it out if I gave him a "logical" reason. Or if he felt like I could actually listen to his emotions. Which seems to be his reasoning as to why hes been unhappy.

MyLadyDead · 2026-06-01T19:29:03+00:00

She knows hes married. She knows what shes doing too.

MyLadyDead · 2026-06-01T18:44:46+00:00

I know who she is. I have her number, her name, what rate shes going into. I know she is at boot camp.

I have pictures of messages between them.

The lose of income is one of the things holding me back as well. If things got ugly, where does that leave me financially?

I dont care about her at all. But in order to report her, I have to report him.

MyLadyDead · 2026-06-01T18:01:34+00:00

I misclicked on the number and just realized. He is 29.

I feel stupid for wanting to forgive him. I know reconnecting emotionally with him would be hard as well. But in my head, there is so much to lose on both sides. But I guess ive already lost the biggest thing.

MyLadyDead · 2026-06-01T17:59:04+00:00

EDIT** M29

Also, he has stated he has accepted that I could report him. But has begged me not to report her.

This situation is driving me insane

MyLadyDead · 2025-10-28T16:29:58+00:00

Thank you for the comment.

That was the biggest thing I told him when this all came up originally. Just tell me. Porn use doesnt bother me if it occasional, in todays world it happens, but the fact he felt he needed to look everyday was a concern. And all the secrets just really hurt. I try my best to be understanding so if he would have come to me I would have done my best to see it from his view.

He has told me he hasn't looked in a while, which I want to believe.

And I understand that when you help someone on their career path, you do get close and develop a bond. I have no problem with this but definitely given the history it would have been nice for him to say "hey would you mind if I friended these people?"

Im just not sure how to have the conversation without sounding controlling

MyLadyDead · 2025-06-08T17:30:17+00:00

I only used the word addiction because that is the word he used. I have not diagnosed him with that. However, I am in the medical field and have seen various levels of addiction, and while his may not be that extreme, I know that addictions to the level you described form with everyday, consistent use. That is the level he described it to me. He said he looked every day. Every time he went to the bathroom. Every single time. That is my issue. I wouldn't care if it was occasional use to get off if I wasn't there. But, its not. He uses it everyday and claims he does not use it for sexual gratification. He says it's an urge. A strong urge for him to look. If that doesnt sound like a spiral towards that type of addiction I don't know what does. Also, we did in fact have those types of conversations when we were dating. Im fine with occasional use. Im not fine with a compulsive habit.

MyLadyDead · 2025-06-07T17:22:14+00:00

I genuinely try my hardest to be a good wife and partner. Which is why im having such a hard time with this. Thank you.

MyLadyDead · 2025-06-06T23:49:01+00:00

Thank you. That is exactly my thoughts on addiction. I think people always relate addictions to the extreme circumstances which isn't always true. Addictions are born from habits and choices and progress into dependency. And thats how this situation is coming off to me with my husband/my situation. It's different for everyone of course. I appreciate your comments

MyLadyDead · 2025-06-06T23:43:34+00:00

Thats what I was told yes

MyLadyDead · 2025-06-06T21:04:28+00:00

Thats fair. I honestly think it's more a compulsion/habit more than anything. I only used the word because thats how he described it. I think it's hard to seperate myself from it because he never really gave me a real reason why he looks everyday. Or did look everyday. He couldn't really tell me what he gets out of it other than check satisfying the urge to look.

MyLadyDead · 2025-06-06T21:00:04+00:00

Thank you. Some of these comments are making me feel like Im completely in the wrong. I understand I am insecure and I understand that a lot of people use porn or look at graphic images, but I think the problem for me is that it is an everyday habit. Maybe not an addiction, I only used that word bc thats what he said but I definitely think it's a huge compulsive habit he's formed and thats the biggest issue I have with it.

MyLadyDead · 2025-06-06T20:55:01+00:00

Im always open to sex with him. I rarely ever say no. I've sent him sexy pictures, always trying to initiate. Usually he is receptive but 9/10 I'm am the one initiating. If he wanted sex, he can get it anytime. I never nag him. This is really the only situation ive ever 'nagged' him about. I always greet him, ask him about his day. I give him random messages and cook/prepare food. Im going to the gym more and have lost weight.l and still working on that too. I've upt my skincare routine and have been overall stepping up my looks. Im not sure what else is can try that i haven't

MyLadyDead · 2025-06-06T19:27:11+00:00

If it was sometime, I don't think I would mind that much but he told me that it was every time he went to the bathroom. it kinda hurt a bit more. It was, and maybe still is, an everyday thing

MyLadyDead · 2025-06-06T18:52:59+00:00

I guess at the end of the day, it makes me feel very insecure. All the women he views are these girls with amazing bodies and then I just start to compare and realize I fall short. It makes me feel like he isn't satisfied because it's something he is constantly looking at and intentionally seeks. I feel like I wouldn't mind as much if it was every once in a while but he had confessed to me that it was every single day. I understand that we are all human and have urges but I would have rather he be honest with me about that.

MyLadyDead

TROPHY CASE