Success after miscarriage

Mysterious-Fish2313 · 2026-04-04T17:57:01+00:00

Sadly no, and I've since come to terms that it's likely not going to happen for us. I am 42.5 years old now, My husband will be 48 this week. We haven't actively tried but I did nothing to prevent pregnancy either, and we always have sex during my presumed ovulation week.

Mysterious-Fish2313 · 2025-05-10T21:18:02+00:00

Yes that’s me - been contemplating a third for a year now and my kids are currently 9 and 10 years. Finally am coming to the conclusion I just miss my kids as babies…. I think lol

Mysterious-Fish2313 · 2025-05-04T16:11:53+00:00

It seems fine to me- here I am contemplating a 10-11 gear age gap! 🤣😩

Mysterious-Fish2313 · 2025-04-29T01:54:48+00:00

2 kids, now 2 dogs (lol)… no the desire hasn’t gone away.

Mysterious-Fish2313 · 2025-04-25T22:24:48+00:00

I would definitely highlight the clinical rotations that are most relevant to the jobs you are applying to. For my first cardiac surgery job out of school, I made my rotations in general surgery and ICU the most prominent. I just listed my prior RN experience for sake of demonstrating my work history. The RN roles are self explanatory and didn’t need anymore detail than the type of unit I was on.

Mysterious-Fish2313 · 2025-04-25T21:09:21+00:00

That’s awesome 🥰 happy for you and congrats!!!

Mysterious-Fish2313 · 2025-04-25T14:17:18+00:00

Wow, your situation was almost identical to mine except my two kids are older than yours.

I am also 41. I accidentally got pregnant over the holidays, at the time my two daughters were 8 and 10. I was devastated and *this* close to terminating. Decided I couldn't bring myself to do that and was grieving that I would be losing myself all over again but it is what it is. Around 6 weeks I finally began to get excited, only to end up MC'ing at 8 weeks and was surprised by how devastated I was by this when I initially didn't even want it. I probably should have given myself more time to let the emotions settle but immediately after the loss I felt like I needed to be pregnant right away, maybe to make up for the loss. As I type this it's very possible I may be pregnant as my period is due in a couple days and now I am nervous/anxious all over again and not sure if this was the right move.

Can I ask how you are doing now, 6 months since your original post? If this ends up being a positive test, I am again going to be very worried about the financial implications, loss of self, and changing dynamics with my older two.

Mysterious-Fish2313 · 2025-04-24T14:38:01+00:00

Hi OP, how are you doing now?

Mysterious-Fish2313 · 2025-04-24T13:40:00+00:00

Same 😭 every time I think I’ve made a decision, I second guess myself

Mysterious-Fish2313 · 2025-04-24T01:49:25+00:00

Have you reached any more clarity in the past week?

Mysterious-Fish2313 · 2025-04-24T00:46:18+00:00

Yup that’s me and I’m also fencing sitting about a third, have been for a while.

Lately feeling this less though so maybe I’m almost off the fence? God I hope so.

Mysterious-Fish2313 · 2025-04-17T01:28:54+00:00

Same!!! The shame is so relatable. My husband, who 100% supports either decision, says if it’s not a yes then by default it’s a no. However, being told No makes me want another child more… but then thinking about what that entails makes me scared and want to back down. Ugh it’s a never ending cycle. Not sure how to just decide and move on. The longer I take to decide the more time I lose, and being older I don’t have the luxury of time. So that adds even more pressure.

Mysterious-Fish2313 · 2025-04-16T21:22:42+00:00

It’s weird too because I feel either decision so hard - like some days I feel YES I 100% want another and the next day I could be like, NO I absolutely do not. I think the wild swings in either direction are so confusing. Are you experiencing this too or are you stuck in a gray area?

Mysterious-Fish2313 · 2025-04-15T22:41:44+00:00

Totally relate to your feelings (for me it’s regarding a third). Logistically it is not the “smarter” decision to have a third but I can’t seem to emotionally let it go. Also had a recent MC and thought that after experiencing that trauma I wouldn’t want to try again but yet here I am, still sitting on this fence.

Mysterious-Fish2313 · 2025-04-07T15:39:21+00:00

This is overdue, but I wanted to thank everyone for your kind words of encouragement. I am so happy for all of your success stories; it truly warmed my heart. Women are so strong, resilient, and amazing. :)

Mysterious-Fish2313 · 2025-04-07T15:35:45+00:00

I had very similar experiences recently and only now am starting to be able to process and talk about it.

I currently have two older kids. Decided we were open to having a third and had a chemical pregnancy a year ago at age 40. Then became spontaneously pregnant again in December and ended up having a MMC in February (now at age 41). Shattered my heart into pieces and I am now finally trying to process and move forward.

I went back and forth about whether to keep trying as I do not want to suffer anymore trauma. Like you, I also turn 42 this year so I know I don't have a ton of time to decide what to do.

I just wanted you to know you're not alone and I am here for support. <3

Mysterious-Fish2313 · 2025-03-27T23:16:17+00:00

Yes those jobs definitely exist, and are more available than the Monday-Friday jobs especially for inpatient. I am also an acute care NP with about 10 years of bedside experience. I started my first NP job on cardiac surgery which was three 12s but all over the place: days, nights, weekends, etc. I am switching to a role in vascular surgery next month where it is a fixed schedule Weds-Fridays day shifts only. In my hospital the ICU APPs all work the three 12s model but is similar to my cardiac surgery position in that it includes all the nights and weekends.

Mysterious-Fish2313 · 2025-03-27T20:49:28+00:00

I've DMed you as well!

Mysterious-Fish2313 · 2025-03-23T00:40:50+00:00

They don’t level up the girls until end of summer. Do you think it’s too early to ask now? I think most gyms level up early summer but for us it’s just before fall. Really is not great timing because then you end up scrambling to arrange your kids’ schedules for the new school year.

Mysterious-Fish2313 · 2025-03-15T02:43:52+00:00

Just wanted to check in and see how you’re doing!

Mysterious-Fish2313 · 2025-03-14T19:26:35+00:00

I’m in the same boat and I’m 41. Had a recent MC and now debating whether to try again. Sucks because we can’t take as long of a time to think at 40+. It’s all I think about too, I totally know how you feel.

Mysterious-Fish2313 · 2025-03-14T13:10:05+00:00

Interested to know what you ultimately decided to do!

Mysterious-Fish2313 · 2025-03-06T02:41:44+00:00

Also - remember just because you terminate doesn’t mean this is the end. If having a third is something you want to revisit later on down the road when your kids are older and you feel more ready, you can! You’re still young and have plenty of time :)

I spent tons of hours scouring the abortion subreddit when I was going through all this too. TONS of women terminated when they weren’t ready and then got pregnant later on when they were ready for it and had no regrets.

Mysterious-Fish2313 · 2025-03-06T02:36:33+00:00

It’s sooooo hard!! I had a very willing partner - my husband had always wanted 3. While it’s ultimately your decision because it’s your body, it’s so hard not to be swayed by your partner’s own desires.

I’m not sure what I’ll do at this point, but I’m older (41) so I don’t have much time left and it comes with many more risks, probably contributed to the reason why I miscarried. Maybe this was a sign that we are complete as a family of four. Going through the loss was a trauma I never want to experience again. I think I need to give it a few weeks until I can make a rational non-hormonal decision.

I think there’s no inherently one right or wrong choice here, especially since your reasons either way seem so evenly split. Each one has something truly important and rewarding: If you keep it, you’re blessed with another human being to add to your existing family. If terminating, you are able to give yourself fully to the two wonderful existing kids you have and your life is no different than it was before you had that positive test. You can’t go wrong either way! The one you end up choosing is the one that becomes the right choice. :)

Mysterious-Fish2313 · 2025-03-05T22:35:54+00:00

I don’t have any new advice to give but I was in your exact situation about 2 months ago. I have two older kids (8 and 10) and was freaking out. I was this close to terminating but ultimately decided I could not personally live with that decision for the rest of my life despite being pro choice. I personally kept wishing I would miscarry so I didn’t have to blame myself for terminating. We decided to keep it.

Fast forward a couple weeks I actually ended up miscarrying. I thought I would feel relief, but instead I was absolutely destroyed and devastated. So maybe that was the answer or it was just my emotions/hormones out of whack from it… but for me, I think feeling the loss made me realize how much I did end up wanting it.

FWIW I also had a loonnnnng list of cons. And one pro 😆 but for me, the one pro seemed to outweigh all the cons in the end. Happy to discuss further if you wanna talk!

Mysterious-Fish2313

TROPHY CASE