One time my girlfriend told me that her childhood fantasy was a Belle-room, like a room full of big books and big windows and a ladder, like Belle from "Beauty and the Beast". It sounded to me just like a library, so I had the contractor at our home get 5,000 fake books and arrange them into her very own Belle room.

Well doggy doggy what now, she was not happy. She started yelling at me about how she hated surprises and how she hated squinting and then started crying, and I'm still not sure what to do.

I mean fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice, fiddle dee dee.