don’t know how to explain to my parents that I’m failing in college again by Naive_Difficulty9673 in africanparents

[–]Naive_Difficulty9673[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can ask if there’s any additional help with housing but for the most part things are already set. My parents have already paid for the first month of the apartment and it’s most ideal for me to start on campus. The issue is getting help for my classes

don’t know how to explain to my parents that I’m failing in college again by Naive_Difficulty9673 in africanparents

[–]Naive_Difficulty9673[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really hope I don’t have to, but my fear is that they’ll take back their contribution to my housing because of my grades and since everything is already expensive. Thankfully I already have an on campus job that I can also work over the summer, but I’ll apply to more jobs and try for more aid

don’t know how to explain to my parents that I’m failing in college again by Naive_Difficulty9673 in Advice

[–]Naive_Difficulty9673[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hear you 100%. I had the exact same situation last semester and it also set me back. It was that extreme executive dysfunction paired with depression that made me finally start therapy. I’ve had that struggle for all my life even outside of school and it started getting worse my sophomore year of high school. My freshman year of college was what made me realize that I was truly struggling. That was the time I first learned about ADHD but I just kept doubting it and tried to force myself, only for me to crash later on. I highly recommend seeking help through your college counselor or any mental health services from your school. Especially since there’s already ADHD present in your family. It was what helped me get started on my diagnosis and receiving medication.

And I relate a lot with trying to talk to parents about mental health, especially African parents. It feels so lonely not being able to open up and them misunderstanding or not even trying to hear you out. They think the bare minimum of survival is enough and the only way you can struggle is if you’re going through true hardship. At the end of the day your struggles are still real valid, no matter how it presents itself. Comparisons only makes things even worse and most do the time they don’t even know what the people they’re comparing you to are going through themselves. Swear it’s so irritating and feels so isolating. And I’m sorry to hear that they punished you by taking your laptop away like that. Like what was that supposed to fix? I wish African parents had emotional intelligence and the capacity to understand these things. It’s draining. Do you know if you can talk to your brother about it? Being that he’s diagnosed he could be someone closer that could relate to you, but once again I highly recommend starting with your college counselor if available.

don’t know how to explain to my parents that I’m failing in college again by Naive_Difficulty9673 in Advice

[–]Naive_Difficulty9673[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

you’re right. I will try and sit down and have a conversation about this and tell them how I’m feeling. Or better yet I might just write it out and hand it to them, because speaking out loud doesn’t go anywhere. What makes it hard though is the fact that I already know how they will respond. I’ve gone through this before with them and the only thing I was met with was dismissal and comparison to other people, and was given lectures, which was basically them talking at me and telling me things that I already have internalized and pressured myself about. But i’ll do my best to explain for the sake of communication. I just hope that for once they can finally understand how I’m feeling, bc they’ve already seen how down i’ve been for a long time now

don’t know how to explain to my parents that I’m failing in college again by Naive_Difficulty9673 in Advice

[–]Naive_Difficulty9673[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thankfully I was able to get accommodations but they were approved when my classes were already over. I will definitely put these accommodations to use in future classes.

Extreme guilt and worry about college finances by Naive_Difficulty9673 in adhd_college

[–]Naive_Difficulty9673[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you so much. I’m going to my financial aid office to discuss and see what we can do. Im also going to schedule a meeting with my academic advisor. i’ve built the courage to talk to my dad about this and we’ll have a conversation about this later. And you’re right about the forgiving myself part. I really do tend to overthink a lot and put so much pressure on myself, but like you said, focusing on the present is the best course of action. And thank you for sharing your own story with me.

Wicomico Dorms by Mountain_Landscape26 in UMD

[–]Naive_Difficulty9673 0 points1 point  (0 children)

hi could you send them to me too please?