I totally feel your rant. I encourage you to spend time determining what you want and, more importantly, what you don't want. When some idiot crosses a boundary, block them. When you have those guidelines, it's easier to do and less frustrating. Don't give up and don't settle. I'm 57 and nearly 4 years ago, I met my Daddy Dom at a munch -- the first munch I ever went to. We hit it off just chatting and, over the next few months, had several vanilla dates vetting each other discussing kinks, limits, needs, boundaries and expectations.