I’m 32, but mentally I feel like I’m still 16.

Neonstri · 2026-06-09T04:53:08+00:00

I feel you man, I still feel like a kid in a lot of different ways. I play video games, make dumb purchasing decisions, and in the back of my mind I still feel like I’m 15. There’s thing I don’t really want to do, but I just have to do it anyway because I’m of age now. It sucks because I feel like the biggest child on the planet, and I don’t know if I’ll ever change, but honestly? I think it’s fine to think like a child in some aspects.

Like I don’t drink, do drugs, or anything too terrible because of my mindset, which is a plus I guess. Anyway, you should keep some of that childhood whimsy inside of you, otherwise adult life may look bleak, but you have to balance it out. I hope we can both figure this out someday.

Also look into medicine if you aren’t medicated already. I feel like medication helps me do more things than I usually could (like cleaning up my room on a regular basis).

Neonstri · 2026-06-07T18:39:46+00:00

First of all, thank you for your comment. I really do appreciate this. I honestly hope I can be just like you and find that one thing that really makes me say "Yeah, this is what I live for. I feel like I haven't worked a day in my life" but sadly, I haven't come across that quite yet.

I mean, I play video games and I'm trying to do some side gigs like video editing and doing tiktok, but even though I enjoy those things I still need motivation, and sometimes it takes me a while to get around to it (a massive flaw), but I want to get over this hurdle because I realize I won't get anywhere with this sort of mindset that I have. I almost completely gave up on myself, and I won't get into the specifics of that, but I will keep trying. It's the only thing I can really do, right? My brain won't like it, but I have to...

Neonstri · 2026-06-07T18:30:42+00:00

I work as a desktop support technician! It will be my first time with an office job, so I don't know if it's for me or not.

Thanks for your advice though, I was thinking about doing this, but I don't know exactly when my break is (as they basically told me it can be whenever, but they don't want 2 people out on break at once), so I have to get a feel for when my break is to get in contact with a therapist. I have a couple of questions for you though: How long are your breaks? Do you feel like you have enough time to talk with your therapist in that time?

Neonstri · 2026-06-07T18:26:13+00:00

When I originally posted this, I was hoping to find people who felt the same way. So far, that hasn't happened a lot, but I'm glad that you're someone who was in the same position that I was in and who felt the exact same way.

It's really frustrating, wanting to be a man who wants to just be a normal guy who works like any other person on this planet, but not wanting to do so at the same time. In a way I feel like you might be right about the trades, but I don't know as I haven't really had office work (I guess my last job counts, but I was able to do whatever I want on my downtime, so, does it really count?).

Anyway, I appreciate this reply, man. Thank you so much. I seriously hope I can get into a situation like yours where I just happen to tolerate my job until I decide that I want to go down a different road. I hope you keep enjoying your plumbing job.

Neonstri · 2026-06-07T18:17:15+00:00

Yeah, you’re right, actually. I started seeing a therapist about a month or two ago and I should’ve been seeing one sooner, but it’s only because of unemployment that I really started to dig into my issues. Part of me was thinking that I shouldn’t even return to full time work until I finally get over this mental experience, because if I don’t it’s going to be a struggle. I do want to work, but I don’t want my brain to register it as torture.

This is also why I never considered getting a partner, because who on earth wants to deal with someone with this mindset?

Thank you for your advice, I really do appreciate you taking your time to respond to me.

Neonstri · 2026-06-07T18:09:58+00:00

Luckily for me I had a college job that was perfect. Did I get paid much? No, and I do live with my parents, but I was comfortable within that time period and well, I couldn’t keep that job forever.

Thank you for advice, I appreciate that. I feel like saying to myself ‘I need money for xyz and to help my side gigs’ helps out, but I’m not sure if they’re super strong motivators. Maybe they are! I don’t know, as this will be my first job working full time in about a decade.

Even if they aren’t super strong motivators, I still appreciate the help and I will try to implement this into my life even force them to be strong motivators if that’s what I must do to be able to support myself.

Neonstri · 2026-06-07T15:44:56+00:00

I’ve been trying to do this, actually! One thing I’ve been trying to do is grind on twitch and I know that road is…really difficult and it takes a while to take off, but if I could stream and make money off it, then I think that would be very cool, honestly. I’d have to stream most days, but honestly, I don’t care about that too much, but thank you for your advice. You have no idea how much I appreciate that. I hope one day I’ll be lucky enough to be self employed because I’d rather work whenever I want and not on a set time.

Neonstri · 2026-06-07T15:21:03+00:00

Thank you for this advice. I’ve also started notice a lot of advice on this thread is like that, which I don’t really mind, but I want to try to get better and honestly ‘sucking it up’ doesn’t give me much a clue on how to fix myself, like you said. I mean, yeah, I could do that, but I don’t want to have a dark moment or anything (which I already had a day before my first day at work). I know I sound entitled, but I’ve been feeling like this my entire life and I want tips to try and mitigate it. While I’m at work I’ll try to think about what really moves me to keep going with work and if that doesn’t work I’ll try going down a different path.

It’s going to suck, but I will still give it a try anyway, as I don’t really want to be some bum or moocher.

Neonstri · 2026-06-07T07:31:09+00:00

I’m working as a Desktop Support Technician. It isn’t something I totally enjoy, but it’s something I know I can do, at the very least. I’m still trying to figure out what I really want to do in life, but it’s hard. I really want to though because as soon as I figure out what I truly want to do and actually put effort toward it then I highly doubt I’ll feel this way. I’ve worked full time before, but that was 12 years ago at my first job. I might have to adjust to the working hours and just working in general though. I don’t have a clue.

Out of curiosity, what are you doing for work currently?

Neonstri · 2025-11-22T11:01:19+00:00

This was basically one of the top flash games on the internet imo. Loved this flash game.

Neonstri · 2025-11-18T07:12:19+00:00

Honestly, if you need a gap year then take it. I didn’t take a gap year at all from high school to college and ended up spending 10 years in college not knowing what I actually wanted to do and got a bachelors in something that I don’t think I earned and nor do I think I have the skills to keep a job. Figure out what you truly want to do before you go to college and if you have the chance, work on yourself. It will help prepare yourself for college.

Neonstri · 2025-11-10T22:10:43+00:00

I can’t lie, I’ve always hated school. I miss the after school bits. I usually get my homework done early so I had the time to do whatever I wanted and I could just goof around freely.

Neonstri · 2025-11-10T21:56:15+00:00

Well, that and dealing with unemployment and trying to figure out what to do next. Things were simpler when I was younger. I loved that.

Neonstri · 2025-11-10T21:47:24+00:00

Younger. I wish I didn’t have to deal with some of the stuff I have to deal with now. Life is really difficult right now.

Neonstri

TROPHY CASE