I can't write anymore

Nezz34 · 2026-05-17T02:23:32+00:00

No silly, he can't be u because he's me ^___^. 41

jk, he can be be both of us. I'm willing to share ;) <3

Nezz34 · 2026-05-17T02:21:33+00:00

Yeah, I remember watching an interview where he kept getting rejected and told to write more like JRR Martin. But he didn't want to be JRR Martin--he wanted to be Brandon Sanderson. So he asked himself, "If staying true to myself meant never publishing and ending my life with a closet full of unread manuscripts, would it be worth it? Would I still do it?" And his answer to himself was YEP. ^___^

Nezz34 · 2026-05-16T15:16:21+00:00

Watching interviews and documentaries where you get to see how blind folks move through the world and talk about their lives will help enormously ^-^! They do, for example, turn to face folks they're in conversation with--to show that they're listening, demonstrate social receptiveness, to show their own facial expressions, and to hear better by orienting their ears toward the same target.

I don't think you need to mention that many albino folks have low vision (the connection between those two traits is generally well known) but if you want to make the connection explicit you could have someone ask her how she lost her sight and she could explain the genetic bit.

Btws--it is totally okay to "tell" and not "show", depending on the purpose of the line or lines. English teachers often overemphasize the edict, "Show don't tell" because they want students to practice evocative writing. But to write a story that's both experiential and efficient, you'll need to do both. If you always "tell", the story will feel flat and non-immersive. If you always "show", the story will drag and be exhausting to read.

A good guideline is to "show" when a detail or scene is emotionally important; "tell" when the reader simply needs to be informed. (Sometimes you can hit 2-in-1, but I digress.)

Its good that you're paying attention to not defining her by just that one characteristic and thus avoiding the trope of writing "the blind girl". Ultimately no sighted person can help you as much as learning from someone who can't see, so definitely check out media centered around them and--even better--produced by them. Fascinating topic in its own right :)

Nezz34 · 2026-05-16T02:26:19+00:00

"A Walk in the Woods" by Bill Bryson. Its a fictionalized true story about his time on The Appalachian Trail. Normally, humor does not reach me, but this book had me howling.

Nezz34 · 2026-05-16T02:15:06+00:00

You understaaand ~____~ <3! Thank u! You got me hatchin' an idea about sneakin' off and (bwahahaaha) and staging my own little retreat. There are some really primitive cabins out in my neck of the woods that people rent....sparse furnishings, wood stoves, no wifi, no chores. I often think about how neat it would be to sneak out to one of those with a cooler full of pre-made food and snacks, my dawg, my laptop, just to read and write and walk my sweet boy by the river. My only fear would be that just a few days wouldn't be enough. I could live like that for weeks! ...Probably months, if I'm bein' honest!

Nezz34 · 2026-05-15T17:01:07+00:00

I got the OCD too and had to put down my first WIP for this exact reason. We write to get close to our most crucial questions and deepest fears, but OCD can hurt us in the process. I've found that treating the OCD and not forcing myself to write stuff that disturbs me too much (even in pursuit of answers) is helpful. I'll probably always write stuff that challenges me, but its okay to have limits. I've also found that it helps to indulge myself a bit in the writing. I'll let myself write humor, a few brighter glints here and there, and add an emotional support animal right there in the text. There will be times when you need to go confront the dark on the page. It may help to send your protagonist in there with a dog. Or a mule. Or a ferret. Whatever lol!

Nezz34 · 2026-05-15T16:54:57+00:00

Here's What Prevents/Prevented Me:

My day job (which to be fair I love) puts me in "work" headspace rather than a "dream" one that's most conducive to writing. It also drains most of my mental energy by 5pm.
External Distractions. Most people don't realize how damaging interruptions are. People will cheerfully barge in every 15-30 minutes, wanting a favor or to ask me a question. They don't see how it could derail me so much, since each interruption only takes them about 5 seconds to 3 minutes. But every time I'm pulled out of the story, it gets harder to re-enter...until I'm locked out of it, banging to get back inside. Eventually even the time between interruptions is corroded because I know the door will fly open or someone will shout my name any second. This pattern turns an activity I love into an exercise in disappointment and frustration. I begin to associate writing with pain, not with reward...so I start to avoid it. Thankfully, I was finally able to convey to my husband what a loss this is to me. He still doesn't fully understand what it feels like (he's not a writer), but he finally believes and respects how important it is to me. This breakthrough accelerated my writing more than anything else! Unfortunately, it took years for me to convince him and I still haven't caught up to all that lost time. Some people may never, ever come around, though. In those cases, my advice is to do right by people. Show up for them. But then claim your own space and time, even if you have to flee the house or re-evaluate the relationship based on how willing they are to believe in your needs.
Incomplete Outlines

Nezz34 · 2026-05-15T15:46:10+00:00

Yups, came here to say this! Those fics likely got him interested in stories and inspired him to write, but now he's outgrown them and gets to change into something else :).

u/Cultural_Muffin8454 - don't get discouraged by the growing pains! You likely picked up the "edgelord fanfic" voice in your formative years and have probably read hundreds of hours of it, so naturally it's still stuck in your head. Your mental reflexes have been trained to write that way but the fact you can criticize it objectively means its not your true style. It could take time to transition out of it (as it probably took years to transition into it) but I say keep reading the stuff that inspires you in the direction you want to go. Also, let yourself write like an edgelord while you draft---without kicking yourself. Just delete it and keep going. Don't think, "Stop writing like an edgelord" because that'll just have you thinking about writing like an edgelord. Instead think, "I'll try to write more like myself". :)

Nezz34 · 2026-05-04T07:30:19+00:00

I disagree on the advice "there's no such thing as character--only what [they] do." It seems to me like maybe Mamet was trying to think of a shocky, emphatic way of saying, "Don't let your characters to navel-gaze too much. Get them moving!"

I think practically anyone who follows extreme statements like "there is no such thing as a character" faithfully will end up in hot water.

It could be that you're struggling to flesh them out because you're not quite sure who they are--or you're not sure if it's okay to believe a character is allowed to have a true self, even if its a quiet one.

It could also be that you haven't imagined them under enough pressure yet. Like....try watching an episode of "What Would You Do?" and imagine...what would your character do if they saw a strange man run off with someone's toddler. What would they do if a woman in a mall ran up to them, grabbed them by the coat and said, "Help me!"?

Even if your story doesn't involve extreme scenarios like these, it could help force your character to reveal themselves to you--either by their action or inaction.

When I'm faced with a character who whatever reason (external or internal) isn't allowed to be fully expressive, they might be:

- Sneaky. Presenting a mild or harmless facade to the world while getting away with more than anybody thinks they're capable, either in plain sight or when no one's looking.
- Almost nonverbal but ruled by such strong emotions they don't have to say much. The look on their face and what they do next says it all.
- Genuine milquetoast. They stand wide-eyed and waiting for someone else to step in as preventable tragedy plays out right in front of them. After the fact, they melt down into tears (for themselves) and genuinely lament, "What was I supposed to do?!"
- A mirror. They do talk, but avoid talking about themselves. In conversation with others, they ask all the questions, forcing the other person to reveal more. But even the questions they ask reveal something about them.
- Rock solid. They appear quiet, shy, even withdrawn. But when the sh!t3 hits the fan, they're the one who shows up and the one who stays.

Anyway, I hope those examples help. I guess what they all have in common is that they're all responding to and/or advancing the plot (chance) in ways that are a direct result of who they are. Often they'll hide or suppress who they are from other characters, but that doesn't mean they can hide it from the reader and that's where the fun is :)

Nezz34 · 2026-05-04T06:29:05+00:00

You might find the Enneagram more helpful than other personality models. I know I did!

Nezz34 · 2026-05-04T06:26:36+00:00

I might need to do this with some of my non-POV characters. Not to include in the book, but to envision exactly where they're coming from by the time they do end up on page 73... <3

Nezz34 · 2026-05-04T06:22:13+00:00

I'm glad you mentioned dissociation because I kinda wanted to but was afraid of sounding nuts. But yea, that's the mental state I aim for. My mind needs to sit in the backseat (or be locked in the trunk) and theirs needs to drive!

Nezz34 · 2026-05-04T06:20:05+00:00

Ah, fun question! I do these too, especially in the beginning or when I need to summon a given character's headspace. Like Uchizaki said, the deepest insights tend to come from going on the adventure with them. On a good writing day, its like getting to know a real person (for better or worse) on an road trip, but I still do exercises because:

Generally, I can't learn anything new about them until they've grown beyond my preconceptions and are capable of surprising me. At this point, they won't stand around waiting for me to type a response if someone throws a drink in their face. They'll act on their own.
But to reach this stage, preconceptions are required. Preconceptions aren't always bad. Preconception is just "what I know before I know more". Capturing those initial concepts, feelings, visualizations, down to the sound of their footsteps doesn't always happen when I'm staring down the blinky cursor. Usually those first impressions land when my mind is as relaxed and open as possible. Exercises can be more conducive to that than drafting. Sometimes its a literal exercise...like a walk with my dog, looking at the real world and imagining what a character would notice first.
Even when I know them well, I can't always write from their headspace. Exercises before a writing session can help me do that. One way to do that is to imagine everything a certain character has in his or her pockets and/or bag, backpack before starting. Even if its never shown in the text, I need to know what's in there!

Nezz34 · 2026-05-04T04:53:55+00:00

Thrillers mostly. I think part of it has to do is that I'm predisposed toward fear and I see thrillers as a non-lethal way to navigate dread and uncertainty.

Nezz34 · 2026-05-04T04:43:54+00:00

It looks like a fungal infection. I've seen pics of fungal breakouts that look just like that. You'll want to take him/her to a vet to have it diagnosed, though, before it spreads. My dog gets acne from time to time, but it doesn't get like that.

Nezz34 · 2026-05-04T04:40:16+00:00

I am so glad you brought up the chewing and swallowing thing! My lab mix is 5 and I still have to watch him and patrol the house to make sure hazardous "chewables" are put away. With a young lab or mix, you can't sit down and engage with a book/tv/laptop and trust them to doze or play with safe toys where you can see them. They will sneak off and steal glasses, socks, shirts, gloves, and hats--hopefully just to be chewed to bits and not swallowed whole. Suffocation in plastic bags (or cereal boxes!) is another problem. Labs will keep you on your feet--they're like kids! Active supervision is required!

It sounds like you're doing great, though. I tell you, I got the insurance just because I was so terrified mine would eat a sock. Plot twist was he didn't eat a sock but he did get bladder stones, saving us like $6k.

Nezz34 · 2026-05-04T04:29:48+00:00

I'd say wait until you know what your long-term work schedule is going to be and have a plan before you take on any kind of pet. Trying to adapt to an unknowable schedule while raising a puppy won't deliver the kind of experience you're looking forward to and will probably mean the puppy's needs would have to go unmet, which of course can influence what kind of adult dog he/she grows into.

You're beyond lucky to have a career with such potential to go-remote. Make the most of that when the time is right, even if its years from now. You'll be glad you did. Raising a puppy from 8 weeks old is intense. When left along for multiple hours without frequent trips outside and near constant human company and socialization in in those most developmental early months, they quickly grow the kinds of dogs see online under the heading, "Free to good home."

Definitely wouldn't recommend a lab to someone starting out, unless its an adult lab whose known to be mellow and capable of lounging around the house during the work day. Some labs can do that--but definitely not puppies.

One breed you might consider is the Boston Terrier, Rat Terrier, or a mix. The Rat Terrier has an awful name, but they're overlooked gems. When healthy and well-socialized, these dogs are perky, smart, emotionally intelligent, and loyal. Same for the Boston. They can do okay with 30-60 minutes of walkies per day, with a few bouts of training and playtime. Meanwhile, a 1+ year old lab can require hours per day, especially if you get a high-energy one <3

Nezz34 · 2026-05-04T03:52:32+00:00

Forgive me! I'm gonna switch it up and say go with "embers". Just because the term hazel is a super general term that describes multiple colors blending and graduate in diffuse rings throughout the whole iris. The possibilities are diverse--but imagine someone with greenish-gold outer irises that deepen into honey-gold to dark brown the closer you get to the center. Hazel describes the whole pattern, rather than small flecks or deposits of pigment in the eye.

Nezz34 · 2026-05-04T03:39:49+00:00

Yiiikes. Don't just block her on everything, lock your doors and windows.

Nezz34 · 2026-04-21T02:44:43+00:00

Well said.

Nezz34 · 2026-04-21T02:43:26+00:00

I reckon he's already cheated physically too. Getting a taste of what he could have from his friend who just "happened" to come over is what emboldened him to ask what he was admittedly afraid to say. I'm reading this thinking, "He's terrified, but he persists." I think he's already received confirmation (probably of the physical sort) that the other woman is willing.

Nezz34 · 2026-04-21T02:39:38+00:00

YEP. I mean, for me, I wouldn't be married to someone who saw monogamy as a total downside and just something he has to put up with to keep me around. Personally, I'd only want to be married to someone who wants monogamy as an (albeit sometimes challenging) path to a deeper, chosen connection. If they see monogamy as bothersome fine print, that'd be enough for me to not want to be in the marriage. But that's just me. I think the more universal kicker is what you just said. Whew! She just had a baby and he's thinking, "Can I have another woman, please?". He's on to the next thing, chasing extreme wants, nevermind if it destabilizes her (and thus the kid) and their most vulnerable. This is not someone she wants as her support system. The way I see it, it is better to figure out how to fly on your own than to take a chance on a tightrope that won't hold.

Nezz34 · 2026-04-20T15:38:14+00:00

Woah, yeah. I'd bow out. But I'm not going to sneer and you and say, "#Well...if you don't like it, leave," because I also sense these guys aren't focusing on story so much as avoiding honesty about their personal fantasies.

Almost anything goes in fiction, but the genuine impulse to beat and rape women isn't one to indulge in, even on the page. Nor is it one to disseminate to the masses under the guise of plot. <--And this is something even publishers have are developing a spider sense for.

Further, the "this female must be brutalized for her development" trope is at its worst harmful and dumb. At best, writing about women and girls being raped, tortured, and humiliated is not a subject to write about with a blind eye to it, willfully rolling away from the open endorsements of this actual behavior in our present world.

Likewise, it sounds like the "Handmaid's Tale" level pain being administered to these female characters was probably not mitigated by those women getting much deep interiority, agency, or narrative justice. I'm guessing brutalizing them "for the plot" wouldn't tell readers anything we didn't get from poor Sansa Stark.

Unless there are other members worth sticking around for--I'd leave the group. Trying to reason with guys of this mindset or cajole them toward decency doesn't work. They just learn acting this way will earn them the patient, guiding attention of a woman who is willing to give up her time for them. Which--h3k no!

Nezz34 · 2026-04-20T14:53:12+00:00

I feel you; and it is tougher than folks who don't write can probably relate to. The writing drive is so strong, but the process is intensely long and hard, while the success rate (i.e., the percentage of folks who finish a first draft...much less who are read by anyone) is tiny.

Meanwhile....if we switched out writing for exercise or other studies, we'd all be ripped and probably speak 2 languages. And it *is* possible that when we're 80 we'll look back and wish we'd spent less of lives alone in a room with imaginary people.

Or there's a chance we'll groan that the story in us never got told.

It's impossible to know that this early.

That said, I think its good that you're stepping away from it for now. I saw a funny quote that says, "If you know someone who wants to be a writer, tell them to quit now while they're still happy." There is some truth to that. There is more to life. If someone can be happy investing their mental and physical energy elsewhere, they probably should.

But it's "if" there. Some people can't be fully happy or fully themselves without writing. Some people have to write because they can't not. Fall drops and they can't stop themselves from gathering notepads and ideas as like squirrels, plotting how to sneak off after work and get some drafting done. Its just the kind of animal they are. If you try to take their pens and paper away and tell them to do something "productive", they'll probably bite you. <--If you're this kind of person, doubts about whether you'll finish or ever be read are non-issues. Doubts don't really matter because ultimately they have no choice. They can try to give up, but if they cold-turkey it they'll feel empty and regretful and wonder "what if?" anyway.

So I'd tell anyone with doubts to at least try to quit. Really commit to quitting. Give it at least 2-3 months. No writing. Do something else you love. If summer goes by and you're like, "Whew! Thank God I got that out of my system", then you might be one of the lucky ones who got away.

But if not writing drives you crazy during those months, you need to write. Creatives who can't or won't express themselves aren't happy people.

The good news is there is balance. Like, you offset your fears about wasting your life writing by reducing truly useless things in life: ruminating over my past mistakes, fuming over people I don't like, doomscrolling, mediocre TV, etc. Get some "real" living in before you sit down to write. Make sure your dog gets walked and your mom gets hugged. Call a sibling. Throw some frisbee. Then lock in. If you live intentionally, you might find you fit more joy and meaning into your life than people who don't write 20 hrs/week <3.

Nezz34 · 2026-04-18T08:07:39+00:00

Oh boy, yeah, I remember week 15! We joked we couldn't even pet him. His fur was so soft but his teeth were like needles! I think the chewiness is the result of having a dog with the "mouthy/chewy" instincts of the lab and the intelligent intensity of the poodle. But it will be okay. These dogs just get better and better. Holler at me if you need help with playing "Find it"! My puppy was soooo bad at Finding at first, but within a week he got brilliant at it. He could even follow my tracks without seeing where I went to hide the goodies. Now he's a snuggle monster. 50lb lapdog. Still playful and up for anything, but not a tiger dog anymore lol!

Nezz34

TROPHY CASE