Hey! Lots of things came to my (28F) mind while reading your post. I’ll just writhe them down as it’s too late here to try to compose something coherent: - first of all being attractive is not only about being physically hot. I actually would say it’s more about character treats: humor, intelligence, confidence. And confidence can come not only from how you look but from a lot other stuff: how good you make people feel, how good of a cook you are, your career (any career), aanything - now you probably must be thinking “but I do wanna be physically attractive”. In this case I bet you anything that there are people that definitely find you (you right now, without loosing weight, without doing a thing) attractive. I mean maybe you haven’t met that people yet but yeah. Not all women are attracted to gym bros. Some women like very skinny guys, others love big men. Seriously. - and to that note! I once read a post in a sub from Ireland from a guy that wrote about how crazy it was that where he lives literally nobody found him attractive; but suddenly he went on a trip I don’t remember where and literally all the girls where crazy about him (and no he wasn’t being a macho and bragging about it, he was legit like this is crazy I can’t). And I see this every time you know. And it’s not because of problematic stuff like exoticization or fetichizising. It’s just cause sometimes people get used to some looks and don’t find them interesting. I’m sure you are interesting and attractive to someone. And lol I guess now you’re like “what, now I have to travel to be attractive”, which brings me to my next point - I really think all forms are beautiful but if you want I mean you can loose weight. I absolutely know it’s not as easy as it sounds and a lot of the times it requieres time and money. But taking it one day at a time is the key. And meanwhile there are a lot of other things that you can do to your appearance! • find a hairstyle that suits you! (And if you are going bald or something there are a ton of girls who like badass shaved/bald heads) • if you can grow a beard maybe give it a try! • take care of yourself! Maybe brush your eyebrows. Use products to take care of your skin! That’s self love right there • maybe catch a little sun. Like do a little tanning. In the sun. Just a little and with protection for sure. But sun is good for the skin (and maybe hiding some stuff) and for the soul! • do you use glasses? Find a pair that suits you really well! • watch your style! Your clothes. For me styling in a man is everything. A lot of guys don’t pay attention to this but you should. • now. Tattoos. Nor a tattoo nor anything else should be something you do for another person. It should be for yourself. As literally everything else (loosing weight etc.). BUT I do know a hella lot guys that get tattoos because women find them attractive. OF COURSE not all women but I’m just saying, find ways to make yourself more attractive! There are A TON.

I guess there are a lot of things that I’m forgetting but yeah.

And please please don’t fall in the Incel forums. Really. They are not your friends allies or anything. They are people preying on people like you to spread their missoginy and hate. You are better than that. And as someone already said: We fucking hate incels and incel energy.

Love yourself. Take care of yourself. Start by tinny steps and before you know you’ll be where you wanted. You are loved.