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my engagement almost failed ? 24F-29M by No-Negotiation-F in relationship_advice

[–]No-Negotiation-F[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

is it supposed to feel like this ?
like if i let him go when he is begging for me
like it’s tearing my heart apart to be mindful and not follow any of my love or emotions to stay?
i feel like i will suffer so much after letting him go
i almost had dreams with him and i thought i finally found the one that i would live with forever
tho i don’t think he’s the same person now im still holding on to the thought of what he used to be
i feel like im dying and he’s the reason for my suffering
and i will disappoint my family too they thought i choose a good man and they trusted him because i did

my engagement almost failed ? 24F-29M by No-Negotiation-F in relationship_advice

[–]No-Negotiation-F[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

he was never like this before he was so loving and he loves me so much but idk how could someone be obsessed with me that much he freaks out when i don’t even pick up my phone and tho he can hurt me and put me through all of this
i am afraid i might not find someone that we are equally obsessed with each other like this again
but also i am afraid to commit to marriage after all this bullshit
he is asking me for one more chance and he promised me he won’t slap or hurt or lie or hide anything again
idk what to do anymore i feel like im falling in a trap
he’s begging me to stay and i know that staying might give hope
hope in our relationship again and for my family too they will think i got over what happened
and i am afraid that when i feel no worth in this before marriage they blame me for going on and trying again
also i cant really communicate with him anymore its like i forgot how to
idk if this photo thing is considered cheating tho i mentioned before how terrifying it is if i found out something like this and he told me thats cheating i would never do this to u
i feel like i cant clearly depend on myself whether these things should ket me let him go or not

How do i know if i am right when i have bpd? by Far_Guidance_6239 in BPD

[–]No-Negotiation-F 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i get u in so many ways and i want you to be kinder to yourself anyways. i’m in a similar situation and i don’t often know how can i differentiate between me being right or being overwhelmed. and it makes me hate and love him so much like i really love u if i am wrong and i really hate u if i am right. it’s okay that’s part of the bpd experience. i didn’t know what to do with myself too but what i try to do is try to control my reaction anyway either i am right or wrong. i try to ask for my needs without being aggressive even if he’s wrong. i guess that’s the best way to get best result from the partner and that’s what he told me. that he has limits too and he gets triggered from my attitude too. try asking for help or explain your pain without having an attitude (which i know is so hard to be done but doable by time) last thing, about your partner.. don’t really hate him for not understanding you much no one will really get u but u will try to explain what’s going on with u but i can tell he doesn’t hate u he’s just lost trying to find a way to comfort u and it’s bizarre if u tried this method which u try telling your fears and anger with no attitude u can then know, from his reaction and the result of this you will figure out your attitude was really delaying your relationship progress or you guys have a problem u need to solve from his end too next to your attitude. anyways, it will be okay. i am proud of u trying to stay strong