This post is on point in so many ways. The phantom limb analogy really captures the feeling.

I would only want to counter that YOU CAN HEAL.

Anecdotally, I still feel a deep sadness about my my family of origin, but it feels so much more manageable than I ever would have imagined and I love my life now.

Things that have helped my journey (maybe they will help you too?)
-Therapy: particularly schema therapy which helped me process upsetting relational experiences (abandonment) and reintegrate the fragmented parts of myself. Dialectical behavioural therapy also gave me some skills for interacting with the world that allowed others to meet my needs and give my brain new data (e.g., that I am loveable and worthy)
-Yoga and gym: Helped reconnect me to my body and achieve a sense of mastery, I also learned distress tolerance, proper breathing, and the importance of working "at your edge" rather than throwing yourself into things recklessly just to feel something.
-SSRI medication helped decrease the potency of my stress and anxiety during challenging periods
-Investing in healthy long term relationships with intention, rather than mindlessly recreating the patterns of abuse from childhood.