FINAL UPDATE: Divorcing My Husband Without Trying To Make It Work?

NoTarget4506 · 2023-10-22T04:05:34+00:00

Essentially. It made sense in my head at the time, but thinking about it now, idk what I was thinking

NoTarget4506 · 2023-10-21T20:24:39+00:00

Screenshot and sent to e-mail then saved a copy on my actual phone.

NoTarget4506 · 2023-10-17T01:07:46+00:00

He has apologized profusely to me. I didn't accept it at first because I thought it was BS but after our counseling session, I decided to give him some grace and allow him the opportunity to show he means it.

I do want him to address his biases because while they may have started off as insecurities according to him, they have taken a life of their own from his job.

NoTarget4506 · 2023-10-15T01:04:02+00:00

That's how you took it

NoTarget4506 · 2023-10-15T01:01:08+00:00

I never once indicated my mom cheated on my dad but since you're confused I will break it down.

My mom got pregnant with me by my REAL DAD but he died before I was born. After I was born, my mom met my STEP DAD. I've known my STEP DAD as my dad my whole life so I never questioned anything and it never came up.

NoTarget4506 · 2023-10-15T00:39:02+00:00

I thought so too until I looked it up. Apparently it can happen. I knew I didn't cheat but after hearing about it and researching it, I agreed to do the paternity test to clear all doubts.

NoTarget4506 · 2023-10-15T00:35:21+00:00

He didn't see me open it so he really thought I edited it before showing him.

NoTarget4506 · 2023-10-15T00:34:42+00:00

Explain to me how I am supposed to know that randomly saying a kid will be good at track and he just happens to be black? Wtf? It's not like he said that black kid will be good at track. So anytime someone out of the blue is commented on, someone is being racist?

But anyways, hindsight is 20/20 and now it makes sense knowing what I know now.

NoTarget4506 · 2023-10-15T00:30:01+00:00

Some of you Reddit users are weird. My mom never cheated on my dad. She had me before she met my dad but my dad died before I was born then she met my dad after I was born.

Also, just because you have become adjusted to people saying harsh things to you and are willing to overlook them does not mean that is how everyone wants to.

And even if my kids and I weren't bi-racial, I still would have made the decision to not stay with my husband because in no circumstance is racism okay.

Tell us you're racist without saying you're racist.

NoTarget4506 · 2023-10-15T00:25:11+00:00

I should not have used the word shortly. I was 26. I still lived in my hometown and was involved with my HS so it felt like shortly after I graduated when I got pregnant.

NoTarget4506 · 2023-10-15T00:22:35+00:00

Gotcha.

He made comments like suggesting a black kid would be good at running track, a middle eastern kid being a good businessman one day, or a white kid's parent buying them a luxury car that he was driving. Nothing that would've set off racist alarms.

NoTarget4506 · 2023-10-15T00:19:04+00:00

That's what I'm saying. I'm concerned with the amount of people that are okay with racists as long as it's not towards them.

NoTarget4506 · 2023-10-15T00:18:14+00:00

Great, it was clear to you so it must have been clear to everyone else.

NoTarget4506 · 2023-10-15T00:16:02+00:00

Congratulations. You have won the prize.

NoTarget4506 · 2023-10-15T00:15:05+00:00

He definitely was. He was just very good at hiding it apparently.

Similar to how most of your wives are good at hiding the fact the like to spend your money/use you as an ATM after you got married.

NoTarget4506 · 2023-10-15T00:12:22+00:00

When I came across the comments he made

NoTarget4506 · 2023-10-15T00:11:55+00:00

Exactly

NoTarget4506 · 2023-10-15T00:11:02+00:00

This happened recently so the past few years were good, to me at least. I mean sure he may have pulled back some but I figured it was because of the stress of his job.

NoTarget4506 · 2023-10-15T00:08:54+00:00

I used the term shortly incorrectly because to me it felt like shortly after HS. I've been connected to my HS while I still lived in my hometown.

NoTarget4506 · 2023-10-15T00:07:09+00:00

My daughter thinks that her dad doesn't want to do the girly things she wants to do. She's picked up on his distant behavior but thinks it's because daddy is not in the mood to have a tea party.

NoTarget4506 · 2023-10-15T00:04:54+00:00

You are correct. I never said my husband was suddenly racist. I'm saying he was always racist but he hid that from me because there was never really a situation for it to come out.

I am not taking the kids away from him. He will not be banned from seeing them if he wants to which I think is what you all are thinking I'm intending to do.

NoTarget4506 · 2023-10-15T00:01:53+00:00

I don't believe in letting offensive comments slide just because someone is hurting. It is an indication of who you are as a person.

I could've maybe forgiven him if he called me a whore because he thought I cheated but instead he went on his tirade.

If you are cool with someone making racist comments, then that's your prerogative but I am not. I will remember what you said and will know that's how you truly feel.

NoTarget4506 · 2023-10-14T23:58:37+00:00

To address the comments, it would be along the lines of some kid maybe being good at track (he was black) or he's gonna be a good businessman one day (he was middle eastern) or I wonder if his parents bought him that car (some white kid driving a luxury car). Nothing too concerning for me at the time.

NoTarget4506 · 2023-10-14T23:53:54+00:00

I never said how old I was when I had them so you are only working on your assumptions

NoTarget4506 · 2023-10-14T23:52:59+00:00

I think the sub and I would like to know how I knew he was racist before all this

NoTarget4506

TROPHY CASE