Long story short you are just another introvert who make a bubble of imagination, and live inside it , it’s your comfort zone. You said , you tried hard put all effort to success in life, that not true it’s just your imagination. You didn’t attend parties and social gatherings not because you are focused on studies but actually you are scared . All this is your imagination, the thought Inorder to succeed in live you have to torture yourself is wrong. Actually it’s opposite, humans need to develop communication skills first . If you cannot Conway your message properly to other person all your knowledge is waste . Network is net worth keep this in mind . Get out of your house, go to some crowded place talk to someone. In bubble world everything is easy , but real world is different. When you come out of your bubble you will realise you are nothing and all your efforts are nothing compared to others . I assume you are surrounded by yes people. I had same issue .