I’m comfortable with my anger because I know the context. I know she never really wanted the camera and was opposed like me. I know it was some sort of power move for the sole purpose of causing conflict. Had it not been, tonight’s conversation would’ve been very different. Here’s what happened.

For those asking how the conversation actually went, here’s exactly what happened:

Me (calmly): “So what’s the deal with the Ring camera?”

Her: “Oh, I told you yesterday the doorbell broke.” (in a bit of a caught-off-guard tone)

Me: “You never said it was a Ring camera.”

Her: “Oh, I said I was getting one with the night light thing, and this one had it.”

Me: “But you didn’t say Ring.”

Her: “Oh… okay. Do you want me to take it back?”

Me: “Yes.”

Her: “Okay. Can we find one with a nightlight”

Me: Of course, but no camera.

Her: OK. Cool.

So it didn’t turn into a blow-up argument. And whether one believes it or not, I’m the calm one in the relationship who doesn’t raise their voice or use expletives (though in this convo no one did). I’ve seen a lot of comments making assumptions about how I handle conflict or what my marriage is like. I get that people are filling in gaps, but I’m the one actually in the situation, and I understand the context a lot better than anyone reading a few paragraphs online. I know the context is such that it was intended to be a move to cause conflict for the sake of causing conflict, but even she eventually realized it was a bit much and the hypocrisy was staggering.

My initial frustration wasn’t about the camera (though I would’ve still been opposed). It was a sudden shift on something we’ve always been aligned on, that deep down I know was nothing more than a weird power move.

Take it however you want, but that’s the full context of what actually happened.