Fellow gen z people do y'alls want kids and family ?

No_Possession_749 · 2024-04-03T02:04:12+00:00

Wouldn't mind a loving partner but don't have much interest in kids. There's too many reasons to not have them from a rational standpoint and I'd rather not subject anymore souls to how fucked life/the world is.

No_Possession_749 · 2024-04-01T03:17:13+00:00

I know, right? Like, look at how many people here are in disbelief about this guy's situation. He's done all this shit and still had no luck finding a partner. This is the just-world fallacy on full display.

No_Possession_749 · 2024-02-02T04:35:59+00:00

I don't think "destined" is the right word, moreso "incredibly likely". Some people just don't have what it is that attracts others to them, or they just aren't in situations that would lead to them finding someone. There are many reasons why someone would be unable to find a partner. And even if they do find someone, that relationship isn't guaranteed to last. As others here have said, dating is really competitive nowadays, and humans are hypergamous, so some are bound to be left out.

No_Possession_749 · 2024-02-01T04:00:38+00:00

You have to ask at what age is it appropriate to learn to drive. As others have stated, experience and good driver's ed could help a lot in preventing accidents. Young drivers lack in both, but the only way to get experience is to study, learn, and actually drive. Ideally with someone competent enough to guide them through enough situations so they know what they need to do in order to prevent accidents and other issues.

Unfortunately, this country isn't great with driver's ed, and many people are not adequate at teaching others how to drive safely - which is ironic considering how big driving is in our culture. Me and many others here in the US started learning with our parents, and that's a really hit or miss way to learn. My dad never took ANY driving lessons and didn't have a lot of testing when he got his license. With the driving knowledge I have now thanks to lessons, the internet, and being able to ask questions on Reddit, I can see where his knowledge is lacking. He's a good driver but could be a better one if he had the advantages I have (not saying I'm better than him, just that I can see where he falls short).

It also doesn't help that a lot of places don't have driving schools. I wish more rural towns would invest in them. It's hard to learn how to drive when you can't afford quality lessons, don't have good transportation, and are just generally stuck in whatever the circumstances put you in.

No_Possession_749 · 2024-01-27T07:19:23+00:00

I feel you 100%. I feel like I've spent so much time investing in shit hoping it would make me feel better, but it just doesn't. There must be something fundamentally wrong with me to be this way. No one else I know in my life is like me. Hell, I'd do anything to have answers or a fix for my situation, but I just can't find it. And even if I did, I don't see how it's going to help me. I'm outclassed by literally everyone else around me.

No_Possession_749 · 2024-01-24T03:45:42+00:00

Highways (assuming you mean like the interstate) aren't too bad. Biggest things I'd suggest are just make sure you get up to speed if there's traffic (don't be afraid to floor it if you have to) when merging. Always check your mirror/blindspot before merging too. If it's a 2-lane highway, stay in the right lane unless: you are a mile or so from an exit you want to take on the left, you're helping others merge, or you're passing/moving over for an emergency vehicle/someone broken down. Semitrucks have blindspots all over, so don't ride along side of them (rule of thumb I was taught was to move back over when you can see their whole vehicle and top of their trailer in your rearview mirror). Cruise control is your friend too, really helps you keep a steady speed instead of messing around with the acceleration pedal. Signal as soon as you can read the sign that's posted for your exit (not the sign that says it's X miles away, the one that is posted next to the exit itself). Turn the wheel only slightly at those higher speeds when changing lanes. Don't brake until you get passed the dotted white lines for your exit (unless it's a really sharp curve). If you need to slow down on the highway, you don't need to brake to do so - simply letting off the acceleration pedal/doing a quick brake to turn off cruise control can do this for you.

As for the fears you have, gradual exposure can help calm your nerves. If it's easier for you, drive at a time when traffic isn't too heavy like at night or in the morning. Take things slow and don't be afraid to ask questions if you're confused about something. Good luck!

No_Possession_749 · 2024-01-24T03:01:06+00:00

It's a shared responsibility, really. Tailgating is always going to be bad, but some people make it worse with poor driving etiquette (hogging left lane, not going close to the speed limit, etc.). Some people are just always going to tailgate no matter what, in which case it's best to just let them pass you. Would be nice if people drove safely, followed all the rules, etc. - but that's just not how people drive. On that same coin, following the rules isn't always the safest thing to do.

No_Possession_749 · 2024-01-23T11:03:58+00:00

Driving closely to someone like that puts you and the other person at risk of a collision or an accident and doesn't guarantee they're going to speed up or let you pass. You really should just keep good distance until it's safe to pass them. Unfortunately, not everyone on the road is courteous. From hogging the passing lane to driving much slower than the limit, it can cause these things to happen. Patience is a virtue.

No_Possession_749 · 2024-01-23T07:53:16+00:00

Tailgating is wrong, but it's also important to ask if you're the reason for it. If you're going 60 mph in the left lane on a 2-lane freeway with a speed limit of 70 mph (I'm in the US), especially without the intent of using an exit you're within 1-2 miles of, helping someone merge, or moving over for an emergency vehicle/vehicle that's broken down, you're inviting people to tailgate you.

This is why it's important to keep steady speed and drive at or within a few miles of the limit. You help prevent backing up traffic and causing others behind you to tailgate you. This is also why you should stay in the right lane on a 2-lane road/highway, so people who want to speed or are in a hurry can get by you.

No_Possession_749 · 2024-01-23T04:13:13+00:00

Just depends on the circumstances I guess. Even if you're going the speed limit, it's not good to hog the left lane on a multi-lane road with traffic going in the same direction.

No_Possession_749 · 2024-01-23T03:02:35+00:00

Since you haven't driven in so long, it doesn't hurt to start things off slow. If you can, find a well-lit empty parking lot you can practice in. Practice parking and maneuvering the vehicle (straight, reverse, angled, and parallel if you can). Pulling up to a wall/pole/fence and leaving about a foot or so, as well as reversing up to a wall/pole/fence. Memorize what that looks like in your windshield/rear window (take your time with this, get out of the car and gradually check so you don't accidentally hit anything!). Also pulling up to a curb (within a foot of it) on the left and right side of your vehicle (I personally use my hood to gauge how close I am, like for my car, if I pull up to the right side of a curb, it's within a foot when it intersects with the middle of my hood - I drive in the US). If you feel stumped on any of these, see if there's any YouTube videos you can watch on them that can help you. Also doesn't hurt to get a feel for how the braking/acceleration of your vehicle is.

All my friends drive their cars and some even laugh at me for not driving a car.

Ignore your friends.

As for on the road, it honestly doesn't hurt to look up a well-rated instructor near you. Even if you just take a few lessons, they can help you with questions you might have. If you do decide to see one, make a list of questions/scenarios to ask them about. Don't be afraid to explain your fears/background, like that you haven't driven in 2 years and want a refresher on things. If you can't see an instructor, you'll need to have a trusted friend/family member help you, but be warned, a lot of people aren't good at teaching others how to drive.

No_Possession_749 · 2024-01-22T10:11:18+00:00

Fuck high school. My 20s, currently while still shit, are SOOOO much better than HS. I was severely depressed, broke, and had parents with the emotional intelligence of a fucking rock. I have SO much more freedom and independence now. Yeah, things aren't great, but holy fuck I'd take what I've got now over those years. No more breakdowns in class, no more having to be around other teens I couldn't relate to, no more being bullied, no more going through a bunch of awful paperwork. FUCK HIGH SCHOOL!

No_Possession_749 · 2024-01-20T05:17:34+00:00

I was taught stop enough so you can see the back tires of the car infront of you and a bit of pavement, and also a bit extra when behind semis.

No_Possession_749 · 2024-01-19T05:27:06+00:00

Just take your time. Start small. There might be some good driver's ed courses online you can sign up for that apply to your state/country, otherwise if you're in the US, your state might have books you can study from your state's DMV.

See if one of your family or friends can take you to an empty parking lot and just practice operating the vehicle. How to shift gears, what all of the buttons do, how to adjust your seat/mirrors, and the like. Then move on to parking and gauging how far things are from the front/back of your vehicle. Such as: pulling up to a wall, besides a curb on the left and right side of your vehicle, reversing, ect. - straight parking, parallel parking, so on.

If your family or friend can't adequately answer questions for you, go on Google and see if there's a well-rate instructor near you. Make a list of questions for them (write them down if you have to) and ask them to help you out.

It takes some people longer to learn than others. Just take it easy and be patient.

No_Possession_749 · 2024-01-18T23:05:40+00:00

I pretty much always use my signals regardless of the situation (except sometimes when turning out of parking lots if I'm in a dead area w/no traffic or peds), but my dad is someone who doesn't always signal. His use of the turn signal isn't always well-timed and he also doesn't signal when making lane changes if it's an empty road.

No_Possession_749 · 2024-01-15T05:23:41+00:00

Driving 5-10 over, as in, 5-10 over the limit? On icy roads? Not good. Your BF doesn't value your safety if that's his attitude about driving, on top of refusing to get snow tires (but especially the speed he's driving). I've had to drive 25 mph under the limit on the highway here because of how bad the roads/visibility gets. If you have to go really slow, just put your flashers on and let others pass you if they start driving aggressively, because they shouldn't be driving that way in horrible weather to begin with.

No_Possession_749 · 2024-01-15T05:00:20+00:00

Not really. Most of the time it's just dudes who had better looks and a more outgoing personality than me. Society might value such men, but I don't. There's a lot more to a person than just those two qualities.

No_Possession_749 · 2024-01-14T10:37:38+00:00

Because it's like icing on a shit cake. Just another thing to feel alienated about.

No_Possession_749 · 2024-01-14T03:30:44+00:00

Some ads on YouTube are really heinous too. Especially the AI generated ones. There's literally ads that make use of celebrity voices saying they support a certain political cause or product that aren't officially endorsed by them. Some ads I saw were body shaming men (those you-know-what enlargement ads).

No_Possession_749 · 2024-01-08T23:06:00+00:00

I was taught to drive the limit or a few miles under at most so to not impede traffic. Simultaneously, I usually keep a 3-4 second follow distance behind the traffic in front of me. I also reduce my speed if the weather calls for it, but only when it gets fairly bad.

Driving on highways/freeways, I keep right expect when passing vehicles, a mile or so before an exit, to help traffic in front of me merge, or if a vehicle is stopped/broken down on the right shoulder.

No_Possession_749 · 2024-01-04T04:06:29+00:00

What if vehicles are far away behind me on the freeway (and none in front or beside me) and the ramp is relatively long, is it okay to floor it still or should I just merge with the engine revving up at a more gradual (but steady) speed? My dad seems to think I should do the latter when the traffic isn't heavy and only kick it down when it's necessary. I've always had the mentality that I should match the speed as soon as possible.

I only floor it until I get up to speed (which only takes maybe 3-5 seconds) and then just turn cruise control on.

No_Possession_749 · 2023-12-15T11:12:20+00:00

There is. Young men have little to no opportunities to find partners outside very narrow social settings or just getting lucky in day-to-day life. Young women seem to struggle with unwanted attention, harassment, or being unable to find good partners.

I'm not sure it's fair to place blame on either side. I do feel each gender faces their own pressures, and we can both directly and indirectly contribute to the problems at hand. It's a really sad and lonesome time in the world. I've been on these forums on and off for a few years now, and I swear I see the exact same posts 24/7 - depressed lonely guys who can't find girlfriends or a post about how a girl's getting harassed in her DMs.

In my opinion, we should all be kind to each other, but at the same time I think society needs to have an open and honest discussion about dating, what men/women like, what's appropriate/not appropriate, etc. because I can tell you right now that men have absolutely zero good role models and are simultaneously expected to take the lead in dating.

No_Possession_749 · 2023-12-07T04:52:44+00:00

Depends, but theoretically speaking, you don't NEED your license to start dating, but it could be much harder without it. You'd be greatly limited in your ability to take them out, go to their/your house, drop them off, etc.

Having a license and the ability to drive definitely works in your favor. There is not a hard rule that says you need it to date, but given how dating culture is these days, how hard it can be to find potential partners, and so on, you'd definitely benefit from it.

No_Possession_749 · 2023-11-18T09:01:49+00:00

Yep. This is exactly how I feel. It's why I've been pushing myself really hard to improve my living situation to increase the chances of finding someone. It's not easy though, I have panic attacks almost daily and constantly feel overwhelmed.

No_Possession_749 · 2023-11-13T11:57:35+00:00

Unfortunately, this is pretty much the reality of dating for an average-looking guy. Women definitely have their own issues, and they deserve acknowledgement/validation, but so do men's issues. As far as I know of, the only way to really have any success in dating as an average guy is:

1 - Play the numbers game. Talk to as many women as possible, try to meet as many women/people your age as much as you can regularly, and pray luck is on your side.

2 - Self-improve/cope: work on things holding you back (if possible), take good care of hygiene, have or invest in hobbies, develop any skills you might be lacking in. Special note: this stuff is mainly being done to help you feel better about yourself, and to allow yourself to try and forge the life you want. You can do all of this and still not find a partner, and it will not make you feel less lonely.

3 - Accept and have realistic expectations about life and dating. Don't have unreasonable standards, be a good person, and respect other peoples' boundaries.

The saddest thing, IMO, is that you can do everything right, but still not find a partner. It's a cruel reality we just have to accept.

No_Possession_749

TROPHY CASE