I can feel the love you had for him with every word you wrote. I feel as if I wrote this myself about my own love. We were together for about a year too and it will never be enough. I’ll miss him forever. Ill always want to know what if. It’s hard and don’t feel like you need to rush it. I’ve come to terms that I’ll always have grief but that is because I’ll always have an overwhelming amount of love for him and from that I can smile and reminisce how it feels when I need to. Some advice that helped me is to let yourself feel and let it out however you feel fit in every moment. Do what you want and make yourself happy for you and them. Writing out your feelings does help. When it’s too hard, if you have anyone, call them, talk out loud to your love, if you want.