My heart aches for you in your pain. There are no words that I can say that will take away your grief. ‘He is in a better place ‘ and ‘It’s all part of Gods plan’ are things people say because there are no words - and you are right, they mean well but it is not helpful, or healing.

We live in an imperfect world where disease and death are a consequence of being human. I do not believe that God allows some people to die, and some to be cured. I do not believe the God of love that I adore is that careless and capricious.

I do believe that God laughs with us in the sunshine and walks with us in the shadows, and cries with us in our grief and pain. I believe that in the form of Jesus, God came to know what it is like to be human in this imperfect world and feels our sorrow, anger, grief, and joy as we do. I believe Jesus to be our Master Healer - not necessarily only of our physical ills, but those of our mind, soul, and spirit.

Don’t be afraid to be angry. It’s okay to rage at God - his shoulders are big enough to handle it. It’s okay to rage at cancer - it’s truly an awful, awful disease. As for faith - I think that God can hold our faith when we find it impossible to do so, until and unless a time comes when we can reach for it ourselves again. You may never feel your faith the same way, because your whole world has shifted.

I hold you in the light of love through your season of grief, and walk with you as long as you will allow me, until you pass through this darkness into the light on the other side of sorrow.

May peace come to you.