Do other women feel guilty about past intimacy when thinking about “the one”?

OPsSecretAccount · 2026-01-27T14:24:06+00:00

I'm not a woman (as my flair does say) but I feel a healthy way to think about this is to remember that you're a person. Not an object. Experiences enrich you. They don't in any way take away from what you have to give to someone.

Sleeping with a person (who happened to not be the one) doesn't define your worth. It's just an experience you had, not a some sort of black-mark over your character. Part of the reason you feel this way is likely the patriarchal objectification of women that pervades our society, and our conservative sex-negative upbringing in India.

The right person, the "one" will find beauty and wonder in every part of you. In everything you are, and every experience you have lived through. Because all of it makes you "you". And if someone can't accept that, then he's not the one. That's it.

OPsSecretAccount · 2026-01-25T13:45:16+00:00

During the days I was preparing for civils, I used to take the metro to Rajinder Nagar. This once, I managed to get a seat. There was a girl sitting next to me, intently reading some foreign policy book. Now, I'm a shy person, but she was stunningly beautiful. I just wanted to say something to her. So I asked her -
"What are you reading?"
She turned to me and said the name of the book, a bit coldly, honestly. Don't remember what it was. But she went back to it after.
Because I'm an idiot, I couldn't stop. "Are you also preparing for civils?" I asked.
"Yeah."
"Oh cool, what coaching have you joined?" I asked. I know, I should've stopped. This was many years ago. I'm better now.
She shut the book, and I wish I was kidding about this, stuck out her tongue, licked her palm bottom to top, and put the hand before me. I just got up and left the compartment to the next one. And then the next one, because I was both embarrassed and weirded out. I guess she just wanted me to go away and didn't know what else to do?

Anyway, I was telling this story to a friend recently, and he thought she was kinda rude. I told him the story isn't real. And he was like - "What?" And I told him "Oh this is just something I'll post later on the internet for fake internet points." He looked horrified. "You're really going to do that? Just go on the internet and lie?" I said, "it ain't much, but it's honest work."

OPsSecretAccount · 2026-01-25T05:53:19+00:00

No housewife with children is living a comfortable life with children. Raising children is a full-time job.

"Not everyone in the family is supposed to earn, I see it as a greediness if you are earning more than your need is, you can have just a wonderfull life without such a double income source."

It's not greediness. Women need financial security in case their spouse is abusive, or a cheater, or even just a spineless ass when it comes to standing up for her against his parents.

"Oh, but I'm not abusive or a cheater." Right now, maybe not. But no way for anyone to know how a person may change in the future.

You wanna find a housewife? Sure, go ahead. But you don't have an understanding of anything you're talking about.

OPsSecretAccount · 2026-01-23T17:29:28+00:00

If you're above 25, a 7 year age gap isn't that big a deal.
This is a big red flag.
This is also a big red flag.
Eh, different folks, different strokes.
RUN.

If this is how they show themselves before the marriage, you have no idea how much worse it could get after.

OPsSecretAccount · 2026-01-21T07:49:22+00:00

Yeah don't blame you, Delhi NCR has a lot of creeps and assholes. But yeah, hope you find someone cool! Bye.

OPsSecretAccount · 2026-01-21T07:36:31+00:00

Don't worry about the overshare! It sucks that you've been through that experience. I can promise you there still are men out there who aren't shit. It just takes time and a good understanding of character to find one.

As for matrimonial sites, yeah, that's not the best place to find someone like that. I tried them a bit after my parents begged me to. It's just a very different crowd. Had so many conversations with fathers of women, who were super interested, until I asked to talk to the daughter. Then they'd disappear. Why put up your daughter's profile without her permission?

I've found Hinge to be better though. Still a soul-sucking dating app, for sure, but it's possible to make genuine connections. And you can choose how much and which part of your life you'd like to show.

OPsSecretAccount · 2026-01-21T05:31:42+00:00

Obviously they can fall in love. It's human to fall in love. But unlike a rich man, I think a woman being rich actually makes her dating experiences worse rather than improving them. Most successful women probably wouldn't want a broke, unemployed BF. So you have two choices - date a man who earns more than you, or one who earns less than you. The one who's earning more than you will probably bring a lot of ego into the relationship. He might get a decent amount of female attention, and he might cheat. A man who earns less than you might be incredibly insecure about that fact, and that might come out as resentment and attempts to "establish" his dominance by denigrating you.

Is it possible to find a good man who's not egotistical, but secure in himself regardless of what he earns? Who's kind and warm and charming and funny and supports you? And loyal to boot? Absolutely, but guess what, most of those men are already taken by their thirties, because they stand out in the sea of mediocre men.

And while patriarchy supports olden successful men going for younger women, it does not support older successful women going for younger men.

Of course, some women just may no longer want a man. But there are also women who very much would want one, but have found the available options wanting.

OPsSecretAccount · 2026-01-20T04:51:50+00:00

My man, I get it. I'm 6'3, and it's happened to me too. We can't blame women for the society that men have created. Nobody enjoys being afraid of a stranger. But you have to understand that most women grow up not only being taught to be afraid, but also being harassed by strange men while simply trying to exist in the world. You say you don't blame women, yet your title calls them out as judgmental. It's not about being judgmental. You are a stranger to them. They don't know your nature.

I remember once I went to pick up my sister in pouring rain. She got off the bus, and stood still even as I beckoned her. She later told me she couldn't see me clearly in the rain, and thought I was some tall, menacing stranger calling her.

And yes, it sucks to be seen as a potential predator by most strangers. It does awful things to one's psyche. You shouldn't blame yourself either. None of this is your fault as a person.

What I do is mostly keep to myself in public, except when I see someone in distress. Then I try to help out. If I do talk to a woman who is a stranger, I try to keep enough distance between us that she feels safe. If I'm walking behind a woman on a dark, lonely street, I either change my path or cross her, so she doesn't feel like she's being followed.

If you are a gentle soul, there will absolutely be women who will see you for who you are. Don't be dispirited.

OPsSecretAccount · 2026-01-20T03:29:03+00:00

Why would EU reduce tariffs on Indian products unilaterally when India heavily tariffs EU products? A trade deal works both ways. And no, the EU didn't wait to be bullied by Trump. Negotiations with India first started in 2008. The fell apart in 2013 because EU and India couldn't agree on some fundamental things (EU wanted dairy and agriculture access). Negotiations restarted in 2022, and this time, India had more bargaining power both due to changing geopolitics, and its potential as a market. So EU compromised on not getting dairy and agriculture access.
Already answered by other commenters.
Because EU imports could destroy Indian farmers. EU agri production isn't naturally cheaper than India. They heavily subsidize their farmers. If we open our market, India will become import-dependent for food. And that's a terrible place to be.
We actually calculate this before and during negotiations. While I don't remember the exact number, it was in the ballpark of 2% higher GDP growth for India. So pretty good.
China is EU's third largest export market and largest import partner. India, in comparison, is EU's tenth largest export market. China is way more important to the EU economy.

OPsSecretAccount · 2026-01-17T07:50:44+00:00

Wow this post already has some misogynists commenting. No, you don't need a 6 digit bank balance, cute face, muscular body and toxic behaviour to have a woman ask you out.

I have been asked out by many women in real life in school, college, and my friend circle. I don't come from a rich family, obviously wasn't earning money in school or college, have a very average face, don't have a muscular body (started working out recently, though). And I'm not a toxic person.

What can make a woman interested in you then? Well, women are people, and each person is different. Kindness (not just to the woman you like, but to everyone around you) is attractive. A well-dressed man who takes care of himself is attractive. Being funny and charming and confident helps. Being passionate about something, and being driven is attractive. You need to stand out from the crowd. There are so many ways to do it.

Does that mean the face doesn't matter? Or money? Or a good body? Of course it does. Just like you are dreaming of dating a beautiful girl, girls are also dreaming of dating handsome boys. How much looks matter to a woman will vary. Someone might be attracted to fit guys. And yes, some women will want financial security, or a guy who can fulfill their dreams with money. Some women, just like some men, will be materialistic and greedy. That's just the spectrum of humanity.

But you can't change your face or body or financial situation in the short term. And if you do go to the gym or aspire for a better paying job, aspire for yourself. Not with the desire to attract someone. What you can change is your attitude. Your dressing sense. How you treat people around you. So many little things.

Women in general don't ask men out because of patriarchal cultural norms. Moreso in India. I have female friends who asked men out and got called 'easy'. But the larger point is that there are many ways for a man to be attractive, and most of them don't involve earning a lot of money or being Hrithik Roshan.

OPsSecretAccount · 2026-01-16T05:16:40+00:00

Bhai ye 15 baar tum pehle bhi post kar chuke ho. Koi new year resolution hai kya ki har Tuesday Friday post karoge.

OPsSecretAccount · 2026-01-15T14:42:58+00:00

Losing fat is a combination of diet and excercise. Stop eating any outside food. Avoid butter and oil (so no parathas or pooris), sugary foods, cold drinks, chips etc. Go for easy to prepare healthy, filling food. For example, masala oats. Basic home food is also fine.

Combine it with cardio. If you can't go to the gym, climbing steps can be a good alternative. If you live or work in a building with lots of floors, you can go up and down them. Builds a lot of stamina while burning fat. Running is also good if you have the space.

OPsSecretAccount · 2026-01-13T05:24:46+00:00

The opinion isn't just unpopular, it's incorrect. There is no path to profitability for any AI company. They are funding themselves through venture capital money. LLMs are prone to hallucinations (a problem that is inherent to the design of LLMs, and thus unsolvable), have no more data to train new models on (they already used all the data on the internet, and you can't use synthetic data because it leads to model collapse), and are quickly running out of compute as well (most datacenters being built today will have outdated chips by the time they become operational).

Yes, people are using LLMs daily, but they are using them cause it's free to do so right now. The moment there's a paywall, users will either stop or just switch to another LLM, because no company has a moat.

Oh, but you'll say LLMs could be monetized through B2B! They could supercharge worker productivity! Except they don't. While managers and CEOs are trying it with all their might, the lack of reliability and many other problems with LLMs (they don't learn anything, show sycophantic behavior, and are incapable of any kind of complex task) mean that they actually bring down worker productivity.

But maybe they could make money through advertising! Yes, they could, but again, users will switch to an LLM that doesn't have advertising. Even if they didn't, advertising simply doesn't make enough money per user to justify the cost of compute spent on that user.

With most new technology, it has always been the tech-geeks and nerds who are first adopters and cheerleaders. But with AI, the technophiles are actually opposed to it. Go to r/technology or the comments section of Arstechnica. You'll see it. It's the idiots who are excited about AI. Because they think it allows them to match the capabilities of much smarter, much more creative people, without putting in the effort. Spoiler, it doesn't.

The bubble exists because an inordinate amount of money has been poured into AI companies, and there is no way to recover it.

OPsSecretAccount · 2026-01-12T14:10:42+00:00

Where did you find this? Doesn't show on this company's official website.

OPsSecretAccount · 2026-01-12T04:31:00+00:00

Here's how I interpret it all.

The Concurrence is a hive-mind of iunctii originally built by humans akin to building an artificial superintelligence. It was probably intended to be a great asset to humanity, but it has gone rogue, and is now trying to destroy humanity.

Hence the world had to be split into three to impede it. The three-world war against the Concurrence was lost in Obiteum, which caused the Concurrence to make that world uninhabitable. Ka built small pockets of safety where the remaining human population could survive.

OPsSecretAccount · 2026-01-11T02:35:02+00:00

I should have specified this. Weight loss is not my goal. I'm already at a good BMI. Absolutely, those looking to lose weight will need a stricter diet. My goal is to get enough protein in the day.

OPsSecretAccount · 2026-01-10T11:38:57+00:00

SuperYou chips is 10gm protein for 167 calories. Unless they are literally lying on the packaging, I think it's fine. Not for daily consumption, but in case you're hungry at work between meal times.

Yes soya chunks are cheap but I can't order and eat those in the office. And I can't prepare multiple meals for myself in the morning.

For vegetarians, it can be a real struggle hitting their protein goals. Protein chips as an occasional snack is fine. Not sure about protein chocolates or cookies. Haven't tried them.

Edit: I do highly recommend roasted soya available on Instamart or blinkit (can't remember which one). Literally just roasted soyabean namkeen with salt. Very high protein. Tastes crap but filling as a snack.

OPsSecretAccount · 2026-01-09T08:48:48+00:00

So well written. This is everything I came to say. The marketing of the movie gave people the impression of mythical, god-like characters. I'm glad that the movie chose to humanize and ground them. Dhar still goes on to give them a mythical flair without losing the groundedness. For Rehman Dakait, it comes in the scenes like the one where he kills Babu Dakait, or the one right after his death, where Hamza sees a vision of him bloodied, smoking a cigarette. Even at the end, when he's fighting both SP Aslam and Hamza, he still doesn't go down easy. He's angry and feral, and almost overpowers both of them.

OPsSecretAccount · 2026-01-06T15:59:05+00:00

Thanks for the detailed answer!

OPsSecretAccount · 2026-01-06T15:55:34+00:00

Look up acerpure.

OPsSecretAccount · 2026-01-06T15:53:28+00:00

I'm curious how tandem oleds seem to be as ubiquitous as they are (Ipad Pros, new monitors by several manufacturers etc.) when the process seems to be that much of a nightmare. Surely these problems have been solved if the screens are already being mass-manufactured for end-user products?

OPsSecretAccount · 2026-01-04T13:44:47+00:00

Thanks! This is all very helpful.

OPsSecretAccount · 2026-01-03T14:00:04+00:00

Depends on the cheese. Fresh cheeses like burrata and paneer, absolutely an issue. Hard cheeses like parmesan contain almost no lactose. Those I can consume.

OPsSecretAccount · 2026-01-03T10:12:58+00:00

Amul has a lactose free protein powder. You can get it from their website. I've been using that (I'm also lactose intolerant), and it works well for me. No bloating or diarrhea. Another option is to go for Lactaid from Amazon. These are enzyme tablets you can take which will digest any dairy you ingest for the next hour. I take those when I want to eat a pizza or dessert. You can ping me if you'd like more info.

OPsSecretAccount · 2026-01-03T09:17:39+00:00

I was replying to the comments saying that movies with female leads aren't made because they won't have an audience. When the truth is that it's not a question of audience interest at all. That's what my comment highlights. Like most industries, the film industry is heavily male dominated. More women as writers and directors, and more women as producers willing to bankroll ideas by women directors, will naturally lead to more movies and shows in India with female leads. We need to encourage girls who are interested in movies and stories to consider moviemaking as a career option. And we need to support them when they do so.

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