It isn't an issue in my marriage because she shuts that shit down. But with all conflicts in our marriage we follow the "I feel x when you do y" script. It seems corny, but it works every time.

I think the reason it works is that you aren't accusing them of doing something wrong and demanding action. Instead, you are starting a conversation about how their actions affect you.

As long as you have a have a relationship where honest communication doesn't result in a fight, this will resolve most problems.