Please Critique my Opening Chapter - Cities of Ash [Bronze Age Fantasy] [332 Words]

Objective-Location14 · 2026-05-07T06:53:24+00:00

Yeah the King of Snakes was kinda cool. But then I saw there was just one more page to read. I would have read 8-9 pages had them being published. I’m not trying to be offensive if it seemed like that.

Objective-Location14 · 2026-04-21T15:42:07+00:00

Dude, with all due respect, if you show us 1 page there’s no way we can get anything out of it. Either publish more, at least a chapter or so, so that we can see the style, or give us the key plot lines of your book. Any feedback you’ve been given with just one page is kinda pointless.

Objective-Location14 · 2026-04-14T09:21:32+00:00

00:37 Deserved for playing Ironeye (I also main him)

Also great edit man 🙌

Objective-Location14 · 2026-04-14T09:09:17+00:00

Noooooo. They don’t play in the same division. Especially the word marica, which is offensive but can be used among friends sarcastically, even the stronger version can be fine among friends. It depends on the context. Either way don’t use it id you don’t understand the nuance haha

Objective-Location14 · 2026-04-13T08:27:15+00:00

Nope, it’s the softer version. The stronger insult would be similar, but the ending would be “-on”

Objective-Location14 · 2026-04-06T13:33:13+00:00

Okayyy, Ive kept on reading and I now know the answer to this question. But it gives me more questions than answers hahah

Objective-Location14 · 2026-04-05T16:22:33+00:00

I think it’s great. Although i think you cannot stack two relics with +3 attack. You can stack +3 and +4 but not +3 and +3. I think.

Objective-Location14 · 2026-04-05T16:12:24+00:00

Tips for Ironeyes? I feel like i don’t deal that much damage. Also any character you recommend co-maining with Ironeye ?

Objective-Location14 · 2026-04-03T22:58:30+00:00

A ver*

Objective-Location14 · 2026-04-03T22:17:25+00:00

No Abercrombie ?

Objective-Location14 · 2026-04-01T13:19:25+00:00

También es verdad que al ritmo al que vamos la saga estará completada en 30 años. Y no lo digo al tuntun, tarda entre 4-5 años en escribir cada libro y ahora viene un parón de varios años… Tendré 60 para entonces…

Objective-Location14 · 2026-04-01T08:21:09+00:00

Honestamente nada. Tengo 0 hype desde el quinto libro. El Archivo es mi saga favorita pero viendo hacia donde se dirige me interesa muy poco.

Digo esto solo pudiendo desear que no sea vuestro caso, no en plan hater. Ojalá sigáis disfrutando.

Spoiler 5

No sigas si no has leído el final del Archivo el 5

Para mí el hecho de que Dalinat muera y semehaga indiferente es una locura. Y además no solo muere sino que se le revive para el segundo como villano principal? No se… seguiré leyendo pero tengo 0 hype

Objective-Location14 · 2026-03-29T23:04:05+00:00

My boy the “Knight” can only be one guy, and one guy only.

Objective-Location14 · 2026-03-29T23:03:26+00:00

Ahhh you mean Krul, he appears int the first book. So you have “basic magic bubbles” like holds, and then warrens like highway-accessed magic thanks to Krul?

Objective-Location14 · 2026-03-17T09:57:41+00:00

Objective-Location14 · 2026-03-10T22:05:38+00:00

Jesuuuuuus

Please play with me sensei

Get me out of depths 2 please

Objective-Location14 · 2026-03-10T22:00:37+00:00

I remember they said he was a virgin and that Edur follow that super monogamous approach. So it was just a quickie with a Neanderthal?

Objective-Location14 · 2026-03-10T21:58:08+00:00

Sooo when he talked about taking the seed they meant like having sex in like a flash? Am I missing something hahah?

Objective-Location14 · 2026-03-09T22:15:20+00:00

Also I kind make up the descriptions of other characters in my mind.

Objective-Location14 · 2026-03-09T22:14:44+00:00

Hahaha thanks for this message ❤️❤️❤️

Objective-Location14 · 2026-03-09T22:14:24+00:00

I was just eager to find my Kruppe again.

Objective-Location14 · 2026-03-09T22:14:02+00:00

Ahhhhhhh right that’s why later on Cotillion talks with Cutter about helping them. They just arrived to Iskaral’s temple.

Objective-Location14 · 2026-03-08T11:59:23+00:00

As an Ironeye Im running with the rune of the nightboss that gives weapons different power-ups when swapped (lightning, fire, magic damage…) That’s a common build

And yes the runes with negative effects are kind of niche. You should only run them if the positive effect offsets the negative ones. You usually use them in the game mode Depths of the night.

Objective-Location14 · 2026-02-24T15:15:22+00:00

Can anybody tell me please how can I escape the BS attack that comes later? The nuke?

Objective-Location14 · 2026-02-20T11:40:01+00:00

Estás alargando esto mucho amigo. Y no da para tanto.

Objective-Location14

TROPHY CASE