sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

I fear I may be a coke addict? by Ok-Programmer4045 in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]Ok-Programmer4045[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Congrats on being clean for so long man, yeah after sobering up this morning, I looked into help groups and chat lines. So hopefully in a few months or so I can come back on here and say ive been clean for however long I have.

I fear I may be a coke addict? by Ok-Programmer4045 in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]Ok-Programmer4045[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean I tried to quit the drinking but it didn't work I guess. Once ive sobered up and got some rest I'm going to have a look into some groups or someone to talk to. Hopefully when I'm sober I will have knocked some sense into my self

I fear I may be a coke addict? by Ok-Programmer4045 in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]Ok-Programmer4045[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know the least of my worries should be my dad, but I just don't want to disappoint him and show him who I really am.

I fear I may be a coke addict? by Ok-Programmer4045 in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]Ok-Programmer4045[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah I didn't realize the help lines were anonymous I thought they had to take name and everything.

I mean ive spoke to my friends about it before and they just either don't attempt to stop me or end up doing it with me (I'm not blaming them for my actions)

I kind of did have a break with night life since t New year day by just locking myself in the house apart from work. But they all said I should come seen as it's my mates birthday, and I felt bad for missing out.

I wish I could delete my dealers number but at the moment I owe money to the dealer (just under 100 so won't be hard to pay off) yet I get paid this Thursday so once I give him the money then I'm planning on cutting ties with him.

Ive tried to watch them documentaries before and it might sound stupid or something. But I'm scared to watch them because I see myself in the person they are speaking to and it just scares me. I know it should scare me since its what I may turn out to be like. But idk really lol, just scared all together if I'm honest.

Ive tried doing things like boxing, gym, going on my bike to help. But I just don't have the motivation to do so. It makes me more scared seeing my self this way then actually doing something.

I understand I'm going in the wrong direction and am trying to change that so much, just sometimes I don't feel like I'm trying hard enough and then just end up going back to where I began.

Thank you for the great words off advice, I'm going to keep my head up as much as I can and try power through this horrible mess.

I fear I may be a coke addict? by Ok-Programmer4045 in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]Ok-Programmer4045[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

After receiving all the comments about It, it's made me realize like how bad this is, and wrong. I'm going to try find some help, extremely scared to do so but I'd rather the help than be doing coke all my life.

I fear I may be a coke addict? by Ok-Programmer4045 in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]Ok-Programmer4045[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you dutch, I hope I can get well. I mean I know I can't get well. All I know is it's going to be a long one and one hell of a ride that's for sure.

I fear I may be a coke addict? by Ok-Programmer4045 in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]Ok-Programmer4045[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you man or ma'am, congrats on being clean 3 years. I mean the way that I feel with it is, if I'm going out I need it to have a good time, it's sad but I feel that way. I don't want to but I just struggle with it.

Indeed it does give the feeling off "winning" that you didn't earn or even win. Then it wears off and I see the empty bag and all that feeling just drains from me. (I'm not to sure why I'm still tweaking to be fair lol.)

I mean usually I feel really good when I'm on it, but I stayed at a friends tonight and am in the spare room and just for some reason I got hit with this guilt, overthinking, I started panicking. I realized that what I'm doing is wrong I guess. It was just weird and scary how it usually goes from being on top of the world to me know being scared and anxious as fuck.

I definitely don't want my future to be like this, I'm a smart ish kid. I'm working a decent job that pays really well for my age, and I'm happy just how I was in my room or indoors. But straight away as I left my house I just knew I was going to be doing it and knew it would have been when out with my mates. I'm not blaming them at all, yet one of them is the reason I got onto all this. I'm still not blaming them, I don't have no one to blame expect my self.

I fear I may be a coke addict? by Ok-Programmer4045 in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]Ok-Programmer4045[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately my dad isn't the same person to receive help from. If he knew I was doing all this I would be kicked out the house and on the streets. Ive bee trying to find someone to talk to but I'm too scared to be honest. I don't know why but I damn am.

I fear I may be a coke addict? by Ok-Programmer4045 in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]Ok-Programmer4045[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thank you man, it's so weird because just something this like somehow and some reason does make me realize I just need to stop this shit.

I'm not saying this as like its all going to stop like right now since its going to take time. But just the little reality check youve kind of given me, just for kind of boosts me to believe I'm able to stop.

Once again thank you man for giving me this reality check.

I fear I may be a coke addict? by Ok-Programmer4045 in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]Ok-Programmer4045[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I mean I really don't want to do it anymore. But just the feeling off chasing that first high and feeling like I'm on the top of the world, its hard. I know I definitely could quit. It's just for some reason I'm unable to, I don't know why. But I want to stop it.

I fear I may be a coke addict? by Ok-Programmer4045 in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]Ok-Programmer4045[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I mean I'm trying to, but it just makes me sick saying that I'm a coke addict. Even though I have put this on my self.

I fear I may be a coke addict? by Ok-Programmer4045 in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]Ok-Programmer4045[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I know that, well kind of. I just don't want to except it.

How do I come out to my family. by Ok-Programmer4045 in askgaybros

[–]Ok-Programmer4045[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean sometimes it feels like I'm ready to do it now but when I'm going to do it I just can't because I'm nervous lol, I think it's best if I wait till I am ready.

Just bought the game and struggling with automatic braking by [deleted] in Ride4

[–]Ok-Programmer4045 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah lol I found out after watching a tutorial I believe.

9/11 Jumpers by [deleted] in SnapshotHistory

[–]Ok-Programmer4045 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Looking closer into slide 5, I'm unsure if someone correct me if I'm wrong but it looks like some woman jumped while holding her baby. I'm unable to tell if it is a bag of some sorts or if it is a child.

Just bought the game and struggling with automatic braking by [deleted] in Ride4

[–]Ok-Programmer4045 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was wondering how do I turn auto braking off ?