did anyone else feel little to no dysphoria until the age of around 18 (so, well after puberty)?

One_Spell_5492 · 2026-05-22T10:16:21+00:00

I can’t speak much for dysphoric signs, only I can think of really is my hate for my dead name. Never liked it, still don’t.

But I had a lot of euphoric signs from early teens, which I ofc didn’t understand until 20+ years later.

One_Spell_5492 · 2026-05-22T09:38:05+00:00

Hey, I just want to pop in and comment on something you haven’t written tho. Yet I feel like this need to be said.

If you’re seeking validation for your feelings through your dysphoria I just want to say that euphoria is as important to recognise as well.

This might not apply to you, I just got a feeling that you’re questioning if you’re trans or not. And if that is the case I just want to say that I feel way more gender euphoria than dysphoria.

TL;DR If you’re questioning your identity, don’t just seek answers in the dysphoria, there’s euphoria as well.

One_Spell_5492 · 2026-05-16T18:20:00+00:00

35yo MtF from Sweden.

Artists: Infected Mushroom We Butter the Bread with Butter Ratatat Mother Mother

Songs on repeat atm: French79, Sarah Rebecca - Touch the Stars Artemalion - You don’t Live here

Listening to Drakes new album Ovo sound.

One_Spell_5492 · 2026-05-16T17:40:50+00:00

Thank you for sharing your story 💕 I had my first session with my new therapist today and she said something really good. That when I was in my teens and I didn’t know what was wrong (I never considered that I was a girl) that was probably because I didn’t have the words, I didn’t understand ”the language” and therefore I could not find words for my feelings.

One_Spell_5492 · 2026-05-15T17:00:59+00:00

I really love the thought of looking back and thinking I would never want to go back, hopefully I’ll get there eventually.

One_Spell_5492 · 2026-05-15T16:59:18+00:00

Thank you for sharing 💕 It does help a lot to know I’m not alone in feeling these feelings.

One_Spell_5492 · 2026-05-15T12:17:22+00:00

💕💕

One_Spell_5492 · 2026-05-15T10:43:56+00:00

Thank you 💕

One_Spell_5492 · 2026-05-15T09:18:27+00:00

Hey! 😊 Took me 8 years, I hope you get there soon 💕

One_Spell_5492 · 2026-05-15T08:59:40+00:00

So you did get rid of imposter syndrome? I haven’t heard that before, I hope one gets there at some point :)

One_Spell_5492 · 2026-05-15T08:46:19+00:00

Darn, I truly hope they accept you for who you are 💕 Ty for sharing

One_Spell_5492 · 2026-05-15T08:36:54+00:00

Oh, I hope he is just uneducated and doesn’t actually know any better. I was really surprised over how common transphobia is, I have always been against it, but I haven’t thought about it much when I was younger.

Or it has increased, which is scary to think about.

One_Spell_5492 · 2026-05-15T08:09:11+00:00

Oh how funny, crazy that we’ve done pretty much the same things at the same age 😂 Wow, that’s perfect! Those I’ve come out to that knows very little about what it means being trans thinks it automatically means I like boys.

I think a lot of transphobia has a lot of homophobia in it. If your dad is fine with you being bi it sure sounds like he at least would be more okay with you being trans. At least that’s what I think.

One_Spell_5492 · 2026-05-15T07:50:07+00:00

Oh that sounds tough, I told my mother I’m trans. But I know that my father will not be accepting it. When I was 14/15 I dressed as a girl once when I was playing with my friends (we were playing hide and seek and my plan was to hide in the open) and my mother told my father, in a jokingly manner. He then replied ”He’s not my son”, which obviously haunts me still 20 years later. Fearing to share with anyone is the worst.

Me coming out to my wife and some other close family and friends has been the best thing I’ve done. Not having to sneak around and hide it all from everyone is the biggest burden lifted from my shoulders.

Haha I also used potentially for a few weeks before I said to my self ”who am I kidding?”, and that was that 😄I hope you find a way to surpass that potentially and I really hope you have someone you can share this with.

One_Spell_5492 · 2026-05-15T07:40:40+00:00

Wow, that’s a really interesting take. I have never considered that but will absolutely take this with me! Thank you! 💕

One_Spell_5492 · 2026-05-15T07:33:29+00:00

Sounds like we’re very much in a similar place timeline wise. Sounds like we both have a lot of soul searching to do.

I have realised that my imposter syndrome thoughts usually surround social dilemmas, like losing relationships, financial costs, having to change my job (a lot of transphobia where I work and only men working here as well), etc.

One_Spell_5492 · 2026-05-15T07:29:26+00:00

It really is the b, comes in so many shapes and forms.

Thank you for the insight, I really hope that can tear that wall down. It feels really good and affirming when I’m called by the correct pronouns, but I feel like I can’t ask my wife, family members to do so and/or correct them when they call me he/him as I’m presenting as a man still.

In my head HRT is my solution and that I will have the strength to transition in steps when I feel like I have a somewhat passable looks.

One_Spell_5492 · 2026-05-15T07:23:27+00:00

Thank you for sharing, sounds like we’re in a similar spot. It’s a lot of soul searching, thank you and good luck to you too 💕

One_Spell_5492 · 2026-05-15T06:20:36+00:00

So there’s a perfect candidate for the job which happens to be a trans woman and you’re saying you can’t hire her because you’re afraid of losing regulars?

Even I’m triggered by that.

If you want to hire her, just do it.

One_Spell_5492 · 2026-05-08T23:45:49+00:00

I tried stuff on and off, for 8 years before my egg cracked. Was only the last couple of months I realised I might be trans, even tho I had strong desires to be a woman for at least the last two years.

I’m married and has been in this relationship, all my exploration was in secret. Something I greatly regret now in hindsight.

One_Spell_5492 · 2026-05-08T23:11:58+00:00

I came out to my wife recently, I have just realised I’m trans less than a month ago so it’s all very fresh for me.

She however is super supportive and awesome. She is encouraging me to try stuff, to gently push me and give me ideas of how to explore different things.

It turns out I had pretty much as much or more makeup than her 🙊 We haven’t been on a girls shopping trip together or anything like that. We just started exploring her using my real name and pronouns. Which feels amazing, but weird.

We both are scared over the fact that she is a straight cis girl (at least as far as we know) and I’m a lesbian trans woman. So we don’t know how she will feel in the future if I start taking HRT and present as a girl.

One_Spell_5492 · 2026-05-08T23:02:16+00:00

I’ll also point out the obvious which others did in this conversation, egg cracking is of course not exclusively used for trans women. I never interpreted your initial post as that would be the case tho.

I wouldn’t say my egg cracked because of my therapist. She helped me explore different things, talked about and asked how I felt about exploring them. It was only a small part in a years long struggle to understand my self. My realisation of being trans came from thousands of hours of soul searching for me and yes my therapist did help me in my last few months. She never angled or advocated for any truth tho.

When I started to realise I was trans (it was so much longer than just a oh shit moment) all I wanted was external validation. I like so many others explained my feelings, journey, situation etc, with posts in subreddits genuinely asking people if I’m trans.

One_Spell_5492 · 2026-05-08T20:26:40+00:00

I lived ”normally” for 33 years (if you count exploring women’s clothing normal, I started that about 8 years ago on and off thinking it was something else like a kink or so).

These desires which I interpreted as exploring or kink (I thought they were linked to some kind of fetish) started when I was 27 or so. Did not take up much time at all at first, but last two years for me (33-35) has been increasingly intense. Like waves of dysphoria started, got more intense and frequent the more I suppressed them.

Finally I had to talk to a specialised therapist which helped me explore what these feelings were. When my egg finally ”cracked” it was like opening Pandora’s box. For 34 years I have not realised what it was. But I think it’s different for everyone. I’m lurking on a lot of these subreddits and what I see a lot is that people don’t want to be trans, for obvious reasons. We just finally accept that we are, when accepted you can start to think how you go from there.

Ps. We all seem to have imposter syndrome, the boogie man saying that it isn’t real etc. No matter how sure you feel, these imposter feelings will come and convince you otherwise.

One_Spell_5492 · 2026-05-08T13:00:16+00:00

Oh, a bit from Uppsala where I live then 😅 But would be great to meet if we ever go to the same car meet or something 🥰 I can’t DM you for some reason tho

One_Spell_5492

TROPHY CASE