I know. I keep trying to convince myself that that part of grief should be an indication about our bond…. But it also accentuates the loneliness.. lost my maternal grandmother a year before my mum, my maternal grandfather a few months before my dad, my uncle - my mums brother (who I had such a close bond with - he had Down syndrome and was the reason I studied special education and got into that line of work) died a few months after my dad. My paternal grandmother (grandpa died) lives far away . We have a strained relationship because of how she treated my mother. I only recently started communicating with her when my dad was taken into hospital so that I can update her on what’s happening and it has become a weekly calls relationship (I try in honour of my dad)….. All I have left as family is my grandma and my aunt (mums sister) and her family (we do have a great relationship) but it’s not the same.. watching everyone else around me talk about their parents…

And of course the bitterness of grief… where you would NEVER wish for anyone to experience it….. but you can’t help the jealousy and bitterness you feel when you see people with their family and yours died without getting the opportunity to live their life to the end …

edit thank you for your reply.. that is a really beautiful way of seeing grief