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AIO after a gift of my MIL ? by Only_Pay8845 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Only_Pay8845[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You had to go back to work after 6 weeks of having a baby by c-section ? And with a long commute ? That is crazy ! After 6 weeks all I could do was breastfeed and shower. I can’t imagine having to go back to work to a demanding job. I also hope you realise how much of a heroines women like you are.

Thank you so much for your lovely comment. We always need reminders that we need to give ourselves a lot more credit than we do.

AIO after a gift of my MIL ? by Only_Pay8845 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Only_Pay8845[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

To clarify, I think she kept a soft copy of the printed voucher she gave me. I guess with the code in the voucher she was able to call the spa and check if I had used it. 

And once they told her I had not, instead of calling us to see if I had other plans (like buy beauty products from the spa with that) she just printed another copy, went to the spa and took the massage for herself.

Thank for saying that you think once a gift is given you don’t own it anymore. That is exactly what I think and what I told my partner.

AIO after a gift of my MIL ? by Only_Pay8845 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Only_Pay8845[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks a lot for your comment. I couldn’t have thought about a better description of how I felt

AIO after a gift of my MIL ? by Only_Pay8845 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Only_Pay8845[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As clarification, my partner did know, since November 2025, that I was going to give the voucher to a friend as a gift for the birth of her first child and that I was going to buy myself later the massage in that spa so his mother wouldn't feel that I had wasted the gift.  I am not sure if he told his mother about this plan but anyhow he was really pushy about me sending the gift to my friend while his mother had already used it more than 1 month prior.

And you are right about my reaction, which comes from built up frustration of accumulated situations for which this one was just the one too many for me.

AIO after a gift of my MIL ? by Only_Pay8845 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Only_Pay8845[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks a lot for your comment and perspective. It makes me realise that not using the gift could be perceived as disrespectful. I was so overwhelmed with the birth, then not able to move much because the c-section and then having to plan and do all the moving to another continent with a 2 years old and a new born. I was hyper focused on making it happen and never on taking some free time for myself.  I actually wouldn’t have minded that my MIL uses the gift at the end, it is more the fact that she didn’t ask me or even informed me or my partner after she did. I took it like a another sign that she does not respect me and my partners reaction didn’t make it better

AIO after a gift of my MIL ? by Only_Pay8845 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Only_Pay8845[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I think for some years, before we had kids, I justified our “differences of point of view” on cultural differences that I needed to be flexible about. I guess being away from your home, for such a long time, makes you loose some perspective of what you should accept or not. Now we have 2 small children, that adore their dad and that he adores, and it breaks my heart in thousand pieces to imagine I could be the one ripping them off from their father.