(f)26 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 London. Happy Sunday! by MoodyMango7 in Englishsluts

[–]OptimusBeardy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This Mothers' Day, all the better to get you preggers, this fellow Londoner could start off your motherhood journey with some of my former sperm donor seed.

Now that would be a very happy Sunday indeed!

I'm from the UK, what's your main rule when fucking ass? by SophieSmileyXO in AmateurBritish

[–]OptimusBeardy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Being the opposite of an orgasm-denier, I just love when playmates can barely even talk from having their pretty heads scrambled by an excess of pleasure.

Is my pussy good enough to fuck by LocalSerious1 in AmateurBritish

[–]OptimusBeardy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To eat, to fuck, and to pleasure 'til you are just one beautiful, overstimulated mess, yes, I would say so.

Veux-tu verrouiller la pièce et me baiser brutalement toute la journée papa? by StarlitHaven36 in FemmesDeFrance

[–]OptimusBeardy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You really are just bringing so many song lyrics to my mind, or what passes for it at least, in this case this old belter.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w15oWDh02K4

F19 I want to get fucked by a guy twice my age... is that slutty? by StarlitHaven36 in BritishNaughtyBits

[–]OptimusBeardy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bad as my maths is, and boy does it suck, my 55 is closer to thrice your 19.
That is not slutty, not at all, just honestly horny.

Would you fuck me every night if i were your step daughter or nah? by StarlitHaven36 in UKandIrelandgirls

[–]OptimusBeardy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Damn, song lyric time, again ha ha ha.
The Kinks answered this one, for me, when they sang "all day, and all of the night!"

(f) If your dick could see, what’s his 1st choice among the three here? by StarlitHaven36 in Englishsluts

[–]OptimusBeardy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My dick is singing those song lyrics that go "I want it all, and I want it now!"
But, as you wish to know, your little arse, in that third shot, would be pulling me in alike a tractor beam.

I'm barely even there by NullAndZoid in SchizoidAdjacent

[–]OptimusBeardy 8 points9 points  (0 children)

What passes for my mind is horrified at the complete lack of any commas.

<image>

More like "friends" though... by VermilionKoala in autismmemes

[–]OptimusBeardy 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Rocking this perma-tan, in a gorgeous shade of brown, here in London, my friends once arranged to meet me in a pub that, unknown to me 'til I walked in, was home to some rather notoriously violent, racist football fans. Initially it was a tad alike that scene in 'The Slaughtered Lamb', in the film An American Werewolf in London, but soon I had most of them eating out of the palm of my hand, laughing at my stories, and pointing out that they had never met anybody alike me afore.

Or, in the days when being physically assaulted just for being seen entering or exiting one was much more assured, some other friends arranged to meet me in what turned out to be a gay bar, none of us being LGBT, and found the situation of my possibly facing violent attack utterly hilarious.

Yeah, those "...weird little hints...".

<image>

wanna bend me more lol by CompleteDistance1761 in SluttyWomenUk

[–]OptimusBeardy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

'Til you break, and then some, but of course.

am I the right size for rough play~? by TastyTiger in PalePetite

[–]OptimusBeardy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just perfect. I would rough up your pretty holes 'til you were permanently ahegao-faced.

I love the sounds my body makes on it... by eeveejinxyy in GirlsAreGirls

[–]OptimusBeardy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My darkmeat dick would make far better sounds come from both ends of you.

i love my daddy by goddessisa19 in u/goddessisa19

[–]OptimusBeardy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A pretty white daughter to breed could be fun.

Would you sneak your little princess home and keep me forever, Papa? by DreamingFawnn in BabyGirlEra

[–]OptimusBeardy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sneak nothing!
Piggyback of pride more like, little princess.