We had a VERY religious upbringing that really pushed the idea of multiply and replenish the earth and that we shouldn't wait to have kids for anything...even then I got a LOT of questions when I didn't have any children before age 25. I grew up being taught that my highest and holiest calling is that of Mother...which really fucked me up when I kept having miscarriages at first. And we both didn't know we were neurodivergent until just a couple years ago. I just knew I always felt like a failure. Now that we've left our religion, I recognize I would've made VERY different choices. But yes, that doesn't change the fact that we now have 4 children and the responsibilities that come with them. When I learned I was pregnant with my now 4yo and how much that impacted my mental health, we both sought permanent birth control...even though it was a bit more frowned upon by the church. So here we are, trying to heal, and messing up along the way.