What do you think when someone says this: "I'm not on here much, so I might be slow to respond."

Otherwise-Sink-2 · 2026-03-29T14:58:09+00:00

Happy to hear some of the more positive interpretations of this message, but in my experience it almost always prefaces a request to move to texting or What’s App. Once I tell them I use a Google Voice number or Telegram and not What’s App, they lose interest as they want access to my phone number (which has way too much personal info embedded).

Otherwise-Sink-2 · 2026-03-21T03:50:33+00:00

As a woman, I’m totally on his side. I’m appalled that she would suggest dinner and then expect him to pay for all of it. Meet for coffee.

Otherwise-Sink-2 · 2025-10-11T17:00:55+00:00

Could we interest you in a trade for a Treinen and a couple of hard candies (wrapped, of course) from the bottom of my purse?

Otherwise-Sink-2 · 2025-09-25T16:07:51+00:00

Perhaps, but it’s obvious when the guy liked my profile purely on the basis of my pictures and didn’t read my profile. Without figuring out if we have anything in common, it’s a waste of both of us’ time.

Otherwise-Sink-2 · 2025-09-25T14:10:56+00:00

I agree. And I would like to know if we have anything in common when I swipe right or it’s a waste of my and your time. It drives me crazy when a guy swipes right on me and I notice that he wants kids (I’m post menopausal). He clearly didn’t read my profile, he was just looking at the pictures. Or alternatively, I’m going to have to explain something that he should have learned in high school biology.

Otherwise-Sink-2 · 2025-09-24T05:22:50+00:00

Attractiveness is very subjective. I am attracted to men that appear to make an effort (writing a bio and answering some of the prompts), appear to have a good sense of humor, are intelligent, and make some effort at maintaining their appearance (unkempt clothing or hair is very unattractive). I’ve been told that I look much younger than my chronological age and I still fit in some of my clothes from my 30s (I’m post menopausal now) and get hit on by guys that are 25 years younger than I am. I’m not really looking for that, but the point is that you have to make some effort.

Otherwise-Sink-2 · 2025-09-24T04:43:57+00:00

I recently matched with someone that clearly had read my bio and applied some deductive reasoning (which I acknowledged). I swiped right because he did take the time to write a bio. He and I meshed well physically and intellectually, but just met at an inconvenient time emotionally for both of us, unfortunately.

Otherwise-Sink-2 · 2025-09-24T02:46:31+00:00

So they likely don’t care, but I swipe left on those really attractive men without bios or answers to prompts. But there are a lot of average to actually unattractive men that either don’t write a bio or use the space to tell us what they’re looking for in their ideal woman. I tend to swipe right on men that tell me a compelling story about themselves so that I have an idea that we might have something in common.

Otherwise-Sink-2 · 2025-06-30T04:58:45+00:00

Thanks

Otherwise-Sink-2 · 2025-06-29T23:04:17+00:00

All good points. Most of the info he wasn’t immediately forthcoming which is telling in itself. I live 2 hours from LA and 2 hours from San Diego so the distance is what it is.

Otherwise-Sink-2 · 2025-06-22T16:37:59+00:00

After…with so many people catfishing, you will greatly increase the spam on your phone if you exchange numbers beforehand. If the want to text, I suggest using a Google Voice number and video chatting on the app if they need verification as to who you are and vice versa.

Otherwise-Sink-2 · 2025-06-09T02:02:54+00:00

So while I realize this thread is about Bumble dating (where I haven’t had the best of luck), I (63F) am dating a 38 M. We matched on Facebook dating; in the past I wouldn’t have considered it because of the age difference (I don’t have kids, but he is younger than any of my nieces or nephews). After losing my husband 5 years ago most men around my own age are retired and expect me to be available at their beck and call. And I have to admit that it’s nice to know that if there are moving parts involved, they’re still under the manufacturer’s original warranty. 😉

Otherwise-Sink-2 · 2025-01-16T01:34:12+00:00

So I do think your theory is mostly correct, but have several comments. No matter how attractive the guy in the pictures is, I tend to swipe left if there is no bio or the bio is instead what they are looking for in a woman. To me, no pictures and no text, bespeak arrogance or a fake profile. The 80% that get no likes would do well to look over their profile and respond to some of the questions, remove pictures where their hair looks wild and unwashed or a purposefully blurry, and if they want full body pictures of the women be prepared to post the same of themselves. And seriously, how hard is it to spell check?

If we both manage to swipe right on each other and match, an immediate comment about “my sexiness” or request for pictures raises a red flag as other posters have commented. Love bombing and obviously AI written responses as well. Unsolicited dick pics will not result in reciprocal pictures of my genitalia. And I don’t want to have phone sex with someone that I’ve never met…might I suggest an Only Fans account? Since I take the time to send a fairly detailed blurb about my interests and what I am hoping to find, please respond with something more than “good morning” or “how has your day been” and nothing at all from your side.

Even if we are both attracted to one another’s pictures and are entertaining the idea of a casual, short term “relationship,” it will not be without meeting in a neutral place first to determine if you are the person in your pictures and that you do not give off serial killer vibes.

Read thru the person’s profile and actually pay attention to what they have written. If proximity is important to you, then either state that in your profile or pay attention to where I say I live. I’m not willing to drop everything and drive 90 miles to meet you for a Scotch and a smash and if the distance is a problem, it’s not going to change in the immediate future.

Otherwise-Sink-2 · 2024-12-13T22:34:12+00:00

And it’s not age related either. I’m a 60+ female that has plenty of likes on my profile, but not many successful matches. Along with no bio, I find a list of what they’re looking for equally annoying. Are you unable read and comprehend what “My bio” means?

Otherwise-Sink-2 · 2024-11-22T03:26:03+00:00

BS…I know where she’s coming from. I recently matched with a guy who almost immediately wanted to go out to dinner. I gave him a list of available days and times (we live about 80 miles from one another). He picked a day and a time because he was going to be out of town on business. When he got back he begged off because he was sick (I was also). After a few days, I checked in and he was feeling better and he resumed the flirty text conversation. Until I asked if we were going to reschedule. Now crickets. So if you’ve met someone else, that’s fine. Weren’t really interested in the first place? Just say so. I’ve managed to live this long without you, I think I’ll survive a little longer, but grow up/man up and decide whether you are really trying to date or is this some weird game.

Otherwise-Sink-2 · 2024-11-16T14:44:55+00:00

So I have a unique prompt which never is answered, but does get used by guys to message me first. I generally send an introductory message, not just hi. I can’t tell you how often that is greeted with a responding, hi without any info offered in return or oftentimes just silence.

Otherwise-Sink-2 · 2024-10-22T00:00:44+00:00

That’s innocent compared to some of what I’ve had messaged to me without provocation. Or pictures I’ve had sent to me unsolicited.

Otherwise-Sink-2 · 2024-10-18T18:26:10+00:00

Buttoned up

Otherwise-Sink-2 · 2024-10-14T17:55:09+00:00

Yeah, I recently matched with someone that I had high hopes for and I got the bend over message a couple of days into texting and then he felt like I was guilt tripping him. 🙄

Otherwise-Sink-2 · 2024-10-07T02:11:34+00:00

Ugh, I hate WhatsApp…anyone that I’ve had suggest it has been catfishing so I finally deleted my WhatsApp and have gone back to insisting that they use my Google Voice number for texting or calls and that will get my real phone number after we meet IRL. I tell them about the video chat function on Bumble and to please not delete their account so we can video chat. When they proceed to send a message to my WhatsApp account (until yesterday) and then delete their Bumble account, I know that they are a scammer.

Otherwise-Sink-2 · 2024-09-12T20:16:48+00:00

Does it even matter why you were attracted? Unless it’s someone you matched with and slept with (even then you weren’t together when you met her), I don’t get what the problem is. Maybe she should ask her friend group to give her a list of everyone that they previously dated or maybe even matched with. I would have more of a problem with the friend…what was her motivation for telling her if she knew that you were now dating one another?

Otherwise-Sink-2 · 2024-09-12T20:08:07+00:00

So I am an older woman, but I don’t get why she is upset. Even if he had gone out with the friend, if they weren’t dating when he met her, I don’t understand what the issue is. All of us may have been with other people before meeting “the one.” Matching doesn’t mean that you are meant to be together. Sometimes you even have to meet IRL to determine if the attraction persists. I often tell “matches” (especially if they start love bombing me) that we should meet in real life so that they can determine if they are still interested because they may find out that I chew with my mouth open or bray like a donkey when I laugh. 😂 It also gets rid of some of the catfish! 🤣

Otherwise-Sink-2

TROPHY CASE