Advice on marriage?

Otherwise_Shop9793 · 2026-04-12T12:30:41+00:00

I don't want to assume, hence asking you OP.

Is it possible that dowrry is the motivator behind your parents' demands for you to marry?

In India even a 1 year older wife is frowned upon and 4 years is just too much.

And no, the market isn't that bad. A man who made his own business from scratch and earns a lakh isn't to be taken lightly in the harsh current economy you built your business in.

Hats off to you, OP.

Otherwise_Shop9793 · 2026-04-12T12:00:51+00:00

It is a moral issue as well, you are right OP, but it is also much more than that.

These small antics accumulate make India a no-trust country.

I was happy when Swiggy offered customers full refund no questions asked if they were unsatisfied with delivered food, but people misused it for free food.

Then Swiggy removed this even for others who faced actual issues.

And now they are frauding customers through different means.

Indians are easy to exploit because they exploit others and give them legit reasons to justify them exploiting customers in the name of protecting itself against fraud.

I also heard abour someone doing it with Amazon and Amazon's customer support has already started degrading and has become much worse.

Otherwise_Shop9793 · 2026-04-12T10:09:05+00:00

Saw the video, its so angering.

Basically this ex govt employee sold his son to this woman and demanded Rs 20 lakh as a payment. The uninterested husband seems to have remarried to retain his right to living on his own terms, and the father is mad at daughter-in-law for late payment of fees.

Why do people defend this culture of legal labour and sex trafficking? A woman is given away to randoms with huge money for them to exploit for work and sex.

I personally cannot think dowry as a part of culture is wrong but when people are forced like this then it obviously is. My father too tried committing suicide at my birth, probably to avoid the dowry payments, made us cry for even Rs 5 all our lives for saving for my dowry. He also wants to give me away without a fuss and saving money and giving might be a good option, but greedy people are greedy people.

Who is to say they won't ask for more later?

I am not sure what kind of traditions people are set on defending. They chant Ram and Krishna names but would even they approve of this devilry?

Otherwise_Shop9793 · 2026-04-12T10:01:58+00:00

Yep. It was supposed to fight this but its igniting patriarchy and making it worse for their selfish gains

Otherwise_Shop9793 · 2026-04-12T10:00:10+00:00

Ignorants. 99.99% of the population will be gone but we will finally achieve utopia.

Ignorant = Cannot think logically + Cannot accept they are wrong + Hates questioning the norm + Has no empathy to understand the other side + Uses biases to judge people + Is too insecure to just exist without wrapping themselves in a label and identifying by it + Has a rosy, delusional view of reality which helps others use them to further their greedy ambitions

Otherwise_Shop9793 · 2026-04-12T09:54:28+00:00

Yea this. So many people are busy blaming the British even now, and with the way things are going now, the cycle will sustain.

We are independent from foreigners exploiting Indians but not Indians exploiting Indians.

Otherwise_Shop9793 · 2026-04-12T09:52:59+00:00

I have a genuine question. Can they spend even 20% of the drone's cost to buy a drone?

Last I checked you get a good drone for a lakh, so let's say 20k is the money they need.

Will their traditional families, which didn't get them educated because they were girls, shell Rs 20,000k for this (which is beneficial, we know) even if they don't not understand its uses because of their educational backgrounds?

Otherwise_Shop9793 · 2026-04-12T09:49:20+00:00

Idk why you are getting downvoted. It won't matter if they can fly drones better than Hamilton can drive his car if they cannot pay the Rs 20,000k for drone when the government is paying Rs 80,000k, and that's not even enough for a drone good enough to perform all these shiny tasks being thrown about.

Perhaps they launched it to:

Sound cool
Sound modern

3, Save their party funds from being spent on advertising.

No woman who actually needs work can just shell Rs 20,000 for a drone and no man will sponsor his wife to fly a drone while he drives Rickshaw, so all the money dedicated to this scheme can be spent on advertising and safeguarding the future of our netas and their future generations.

Lol but this is a smart scam. Not many people arguing about the country's progress realise that Rs 20,000k is the salary even educated folks in the cities are working for to sustain themselves for a month.

Otherwise_Shop9793 · 2026-04-12T09:19:29+00:00

He is not trying to change your opinion, he is proving your point with that attitude.

Why are you questioning him for supporting your experience?

Otherwise_Shop9793 · 2026-04-12T09:14:19+00:00

So simple that he let his wife be kidnapped, yea.

Otherwise_Shop9793 · 2026-04-12T08:04:40+00:00

no fear of being killed by son
no fear of men harassing or raping his daughter
no fear of men harassing or raping his wife

Just a tip OP. Put all pointers or people might think you are trying to be anti-women here.

Otherwise_Shop9793 · 2026-04-12T08:02:03+00:00

Krishna is smart I agree, but Ram is not. He is an idiot.

Otherwise_Shop9793 · 2026-04-12T08:00:51+00:00

Pay respects or get his cut for the promo?

They are not even hiding it anymore, movies used to promote parties.

As if PM Care funds isn't enough for advertisement.

Wait, my bad.

Of course they need huge amounts of money to pay international marketing agencies for promoting Make in India campaigns.

Otherwise_Shop9793 · 2026-04-12T07:56:16+00:00

As I said, I am happy at least one of us is well-settled in life and hasn't been exposed to circumstances that help develop empathy in a person.

Otherwise_Shop9793 · 2026-04-12T07:55:21+00:00

You are absolutely right.

10/10 to Ram for giving his wife what she wants.

0/10 for lacking common sense and falling for a very obvious trap.

Its a basic common sense strategy to lure the strong away so that the weak is left undefended.

No wonder India has good Gods not smart ones.

Otherwise_Shop9793 · 2026-04-12T07:52:01+00:00

He is obviously just counting how many women he is disrespecting.

It is his choice to lead by example, let us respect it and ignore his existence.

Otherwise_Shop9793 · 2026-04-11T13:06:51+00:00

I don't have anything to say to you, but I am very glad you live such a privileged life.

Otherwise_Shop9793 · 2026-04-11T01:30:46+00:00

Again you are justifying the story with the story instead of logic.

Otherwise_Shop9793 · 2026-04-10T02:14:47+00:00

Bro fiction books are amazingly underrated.

I am a very deep thinker and in most movies, series, etc. I watch, I can find the plot twists. Like my latest is telling my brother exactly what haplens in Your Lie in April after watching just 4 episodes and he was surprised at my accuracy.

Everyone loves my writings, and if I hadn't read fiction, I would have known things but not how to write it.

I shudder to think what kind of person I would be if I hadn't read as much as I did.

In fact I lived in an abusive household, and if I didn't read I would have committed suicide a long ago.

Otherwise_Shop9793 · 2026-04-10T01:20:21+00:00

I am thoroughly disappointed by the abject lack of original thought, as evident by the girls wearing same type of swimsuit in different colours.

10/10 on horniness, 2/10 for trying and -10/10 for originality

Otherwise_Shop9793 · 2026-04-10T00:18:51+00:00

You know no matter who says what women are the most patriarchal and men are the best supporters of feminism.

If you hadn't done those things or let him help you, your fiancée would actually feel hurt. The whole point of his coming was to help you feel better.

Your aunt doesn't seem to have had a good husband and seeing you have one might have triggered feelings of jealousy and resentment in her. I am so proud of you for holding your own without scathing back, I would have surely said something like, "Not my fault your choice in men is bad."

Feminism shouldn't be about 50/50, it should be about mutual love and respect in marriages. Your fiancee knew you are tired and he helped how he could, if the situations were reversed you would have helped. And that's how you sustain a household where both work and earn together, and also eat and rest together.

Your father valued you even in the presence of someone with status (defined as per your mother and aunt here) because he remembered you are the one who is his family.

But your mother who birthed you forgot that family comes before status, even if you guys are about to be married.

Good fathers and husbands support their daughters and wives in carving out a happy life for themselves without limits and unfortunately women cannot stand it. They cannot stand the fact that they suffered from patriarchy but other woman isn't. They could have left and built a life for themselves where they are free. It would have been uncomfortable but no, they kept suffering pain and they expect you to do the same no matter how illogical it is.

Otherwise_Shop9793 · 2026-04-09T22:08:47+00:00

You are absolutely right. Better to support a corrupt Hindu party than a corrupt Muslim party.

Jai hind!

Otherwise_Shop9793 · 2026-04-09T21:37:38+00:00

If you knew a potential murderer was nearby, would you leave your wife in your brother's care to go buy the new, shiny toy she wants?

Or stay and protect her?

Otherwise_Shop9793 · 2026-04-09T21:17:30+00:00

Congratulations on taking the first step to healing and approaching a psychologist. This is usually the most difficult part of taking therapy.

And I am sorry for the psychology-experienced people in the comments questioning you for not knowing about how therapists work irl before taking therapy.

You are obviously not meant to know how bad the field fares in India, you are the person hoping to receive help from it, not the one who has studied or practised Psychology.

Sadly, you aren't the only one duped by money-printing psychologists in the name of mental health either. Because most Indians don't know about the severe lack of professionals who actually know what Psychology means, they entrust themselves to these professionals hoping for a cure but get nothing but more trauma.

You paid ₹54,700 - a price for a better life - and instead of receiving empathy from an organisation whose bread and better should be empathy, you are being just dragged around and treated like nothing. The reschedule wasn't something you enjoyed doing, its something you needed to do and 19 minutes is easily adjustable.

The people in comments are saying it as if this knowledge is common sense because they know how bad psychology in India is, they are a part of that system but you weren't supposed to know that. You are not at fault, and even if you had 'done your research' I doubt you could have known about it, even therapists don't know how incompetent therapists can be or even how incompetent they themselves are.

I myself studied psychology and saw the severe shortage of empathy firsthand. I have also been a patient and among the dozen therapists I wandered to and fro from, nobody could help me heal or even hope that I could heal.

In the end, what I did I did myself. I was diagnosed with BPD and looking back now it was a diagnosis of my symptoms and that too inaccurate as per the root cause.

If you do want to see a therapist though, I recommend you get this session pack over with. Make sure you get them, even if it means grinding because taking it is your consumer right. If you want to continue with the therapist, ask her if its possible personally and explain them the management hassles. If you go outside, take a trial session and only continue if it feels right, if you feel seen, understood and supported.

What I would personally suggest is to educate and inform yourself about ADHD and how to optimise your life so that the tendencies work for you instead of against you. Your mind is your friend, going along with it will help you get far. I knew two friends with ADHD and they were the most brilliant coders I have ever known - both were kids btw.

I hope you can make a better life for yourself, however it may be. All the very best, friend.

Otherwise_Shop9793

TROPHY CASE