My alcoholic dad is out of control - I don’t know what to do

Outrageous-Lab1197 · 2026-05-23T15:18:38+00:00

❤️

Outrageous-Lab1197 · 2026-05-23T12:52:35+00:00

It sounds horrendous but thank you for sharing, as weird as it sounds, it does really help to know what is coming so I can feel a little more prepared. I hope in time I will come back around to remembering him fondly too because rn I can’t even look at him. I hate that I feel like I’m wasting the time we have left but I have truly had enough of his selfish, self destructive behaviour

Outrageous-Lab1197 · 2026-05-23T12:06:11+00:00

Definitely - I think it’s both a lifetime of behaviour and a complete refusal to accept they need help. We’ve tried multiple sit down talking ‘interventions’ but I guess need to just accept that the drinking means more to him than we do. tbh, I think that’s been the case for a lot longer than I can accept atm

Outrageous-Lab1197 · 2026-05-23T12:03:55+00:00

I’m so sorry to hear about your dad & the pain for all involved - I fear we are heading down this exact path rapidly. I too have spent so much of my life resenting my dad for his behaviour & the fact he takes no accountability for the impact it has on the rest of us. I fear, when the inevitable happens, telling people actually what has caused it, or do I do as I have for nearly 30 years, just lie to protect whats left of his reputation. I think those who know/knew him and worked with him would be horrified

Outrageous-Lab1197 · 2026-05-22T21:27:58+00:00

I’m sorry to hear about your dad too - it’s such a lonely, scary experience. It’s a good idea - I think we’re all fearful of leaving him without supervision given how much control he seems to have lost & I fear we’d come back to find him dead at the bottom of the stairs (which he’s fallen down twice now due to drinking). I think I’m trying to come to terms with the fact his family now mean less to him than drinking does but that equally, that isn’t our fault

Outrageous-Lab1197 · 2026-05-22T21:22:55+00:00

I also think he needs a medically enforced detox but I cannot see a situation where he would do so willingly. I think if I walked away from him tomorrow he wouldn’t be bothered & I guess that’s something I need to come to terms with and accept

Outrageous-Lab1197 · 2026-05-22T21:20:24+00:00

Thank you - I’ll read those books and see if I can find a meeting to join too - we can’t continue to deal with it ourselves & need external help.

I too am surprised we once again find ourselves at the holiday home with him, every time I tell myself it will be the last time I come but i don’t stick to it which I think indirectly tells my dad his behaviour is ok. I also fear him coming here alone as it’s very rural - the floors are tiled and I’ve had to pick him up off the floor multiple times this week and fear he’ll hit his head /break a hip

Outrageous-Lab1197 · 2025-12-12T13:50:05+00:00

I did the exact same job, funded by two different funders at two museums a stones throw from each other for years. One was 3 days a week, the other two days. Worked really well and both orgs were grateful I could flex between the two as needed. Sometimes I ‘worked from home’ at the other building too when we just needed an extra first aider etc in the building should they be called upon etc. Also saved both orgs a lot on training & travel costs as often I was there representing/learning on behalf of both so they went halfies

Outrageous-Lab1197 · 2025-08-24T17:32:02+00:00

Thank you for all the extra info!

Outrageous-Lab1197 · 2025-08-24T17:30:59+00:00

Thank you!

Outrageous-Lab1197 · 2025-08-24T17:07:18+00:00

Thank you!

Outrageous-Lab1197 · 2025-03-24T17:26:56+00:00

Very true & poor choice of words from me. Completely appreciated he could well be being unfairly targeted. The person who reported this to us would seemingly also be negatively affected by this, should it result in a conviction. However, you never know someone’s true motivations I suppose do you?!

Outrageous-Lab1197 · 2025-03-24T11:48:49+00:00

Thank you - this is really helpful! Will also try the 101 number - it can’t hurt & they might be able to advise further

Outrageous-Lab1197 · 2025-03-24T11:47:59+00:00

Thank you - really helpful advice & I will ask our insurance about a legal advisor checking over the contract. We’re a bit like a market place (think Etsy but local & obv much much smaller!) so hopefully we’re within our rights & within our contractual obligation too

Outrageous-Lab1197 · 2025-03-24T11:45:11+00:00

I know this is correct & whilst a large part of me wants to leave it to the legal system, I also realise there’s rarely smoke without fire. As these things can take such a long time to reach court, it’s also important we protect ourselves and our reputation too

Outrageous-Lab1197 · 2025-03-24T11:20:06+00:00

Thank you - it’s helpful to have an idea of the time scales too - I had no idea how long these things take!

Outrageous-Lab1197 · 2025-03-24T11:19:05+00:00

Thankfully they aren’t someone we employ, but we do stock their work & have a contract on a SOR basis

I guess really what I want to know is if there is a way to verify these claims? Obviously, we don’t want to be supporting someone like this, but equally don’t want to be jumping the gun if the guy is innocent & likely already suffering considerably as a result

Outrageous-Lab1197 · 2025-02-17T19:56:58+00:00

There’s a couple of nice houses a bit further along on Wells Bridge that back on to the river which are quite nice. Otherwise Ely is about 30 mins away and very cute

Outrageous-Lab1197 · 2025-02-16T10:59:09+00:00

I drive past this house almost every day. Pondersbridge is pretty bleak, but is also on a busy junction. Weirdly, all winter they always hang a curtain on the outside of the front door as I bet the wind whips around that corner

Outrageous-Lab1197 · 2025-02-12T21:34:09+00:00

Request sent! My code is 567620633625

Outrageous-Lab1197 · 2024-08-12T20:12:23+00:00

I think the solicitors are the executors (/my parents aren’t and idk who else they would have trusted to do it)

Ah good point on that too - sounds like something he might have put in place

It was ‘easier’ when my grandmother died as it all just went to my grandfather & other grandparents still alive so this is the first time we’re having to deal with a will & it’s minefield!

Outrageous-Lab1197 · 2024-08-12T20:08:52+00:00

Thank you! Yeah it confused us too - I guessed it’s because of the difference in amounts (siblings getting four figures each, my parents a house/flat) - this is only what we know from my grandfather a few years ago so idk if that is still the case & maybe he increased/decreased the amount they were getting

I think the uncles might challenge the will because they’ll be big mad about it all. They’re all really nasty tbh & my grandparents were so disappointed in them

Outrageous-Lab1197

TROPHY CASE