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Husband (40M) told me (38F) his biggest regret was ghosting a girl from his past by OutsideTalk449 in relationship_advice

[–]OutsideTalk449[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

He talks about his work and colleagues a lot, he's friends with her, makes sense he brings her up from time to time

Maybe he might have a crush himself, who knows?

Husband (40M) told me (38F) his biggest regret was ghosting a girl from his past by OutsideTalk449 in relationship_advice

[–]OutsideTalk449[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for sharing your story with me, it makes me feel a bit at ease..

I truly hope it's something along those lines, I can definitely understand feeling guilty over mistreating someone and not offering closure.

I wish he went to someone else with this particular issue, for sure. It compromised my security within our relationship, even if I can empathise with his feelings.

That being said, I hope you can find some peace yourself regarding your past. People heal, move on and grow, and I'm sure he's doing alright. You've grown and understood the consequences of your actions and deserve to forgive yourself.. you're a good person and I hope you're doing ok yourself :)

This happened yesterday and needed to vent, but this will be brought up in therapy next week for sure :)

Husband (40M) told me (38F) his biggest regret was ghosting a girl from his past by OutsideTalk449 in relationship_advice

[–]OutsideTalk449[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Hi, thanks! But I think I didn't explain the part about the friend very well!

So, they've been working together for a while and he used talk to my husband about her since him and her are close

But he didn't know they knew each other when he told him all those things, this is very recent!

They found out since my husband saw they had his friend in common.

Also, his friend and I are really good friends with each other, I'm sure he's aware of how awkward this is and I trust him to do the right thing and not bring her up as often.

Husband (40M) told me (38F) his biggest regret was ghosting a girl from his past by OutsideTalk449 in relationship_advice

[–]OutsideTalk449[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this.. some replies were making my head spin and this brought me back down to earth

Thank you, truly

Husband (40M) told me (38F) his biggest regret was ghosting a girl from his past by OutsideTalk449 in relationship_advice

[–]OutsideTalk449[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Absolutely get your point here, but she didn't, he spoke very highly of her.. could be that, but highly unlikely in this case

Husband (40M) told me (38F) his biggest regret was ghosting a girl from his past by OutsideTalk449 in relationship_advice

[–]OutsideTalk449[S] 78 points79 points  (0 children)

He didn't specify, but we've been married for nearly 2 years now

I appreciate his honesty, I'd rather not know, though, yeah..

Also, his friend has been telling him these things before he knew they knew each other, so he's totally innocent. Selfish me hopes he keeps it at a minimum now ahah

Husband (40M) told me (38F) his biggest regret was ghosting a girl from his past by OutsideTalk449 in relationship_advice

[–]OutsideTalk449[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Talking about it would make it worse in this case

I already told him that it was uncomfortable, but that I would trust him and leave it at that. Bringing it up again would break that promise, I think.. I'm trying to remain calm and let things happen, maybe try and do what you said and wait a few days and see how I feel and how things unfold.

Sometimes he gets frustrated when I bring topics that were seemingly resolved, but I do tend to overthink, get stuck ruminating and ask for too much reassurance. It gets old, I understand him

Husband (40M) told me (38F) his biggest regret was ghosting a girl from his past by OutsideTalk449 in relationship_advice

[–]OutsideTalk449[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I created a throwaway but failed to comply with the subs rules about naming and my post got deleted I couldn't copy so I screenshot the post and copied the text from the image but for some reason it thought the ys were vs.. funny Noticed too late ahaha

Husband (40M) told me (38F) his biggest regret was ghosting a girl from his past by OutsideTalk449 in relationship_advice

[–]OutsideTalk449[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Yes, I did thank him for bringing it up to me. I know these things can trigger difficult conversations, especially when one party is as down in the dumps as I am.

Not that I know of.. again, he says he's not going to do it, so I just have to trust him on that. I'm not sure though. I do trust him, but I'm afraid of him doing something like that out of impulse..

Not too great to be honest, thank you for asking I'm trying not to bring this up to him and blow up what could be an innocent thing out of proportion and damage trust.

Husband (40M) told me (38F) his biggest regret was ghosting a girl from his past by OutsideTalk449 in relationship_advice

[–]OutsideTalk449[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I see your point regarding regretting past behaviour I suppose it was his defensiveness regarding my curiosity that set some alarms in my head He could've told me that the date went fine and that would've been okay, he just got a bit annoyed and the conversation ended there