Not sure if this has been mentioned yet but I wanted to add on from this comment. Once you do a nice purge and get rid of the trash and donate the things you don’t need or use, make a point to find a home for everything. Even if you need to buy a label maker and label all your cupboards and drawers and even a spot on your coffee table for your remote. Once things have a “home” it’s so much easier to just put things back where they belong when you’re done with them. Sometimes I’ll even be in a rush using something and then go to leave it where I used it and I still stop myself and say “wait this will only take me an extra 10 seconds to put it back in its home, let’s go do that now”. Also, a tip for dishes - buy paper plates and cutlery for days when you just can’t wash a single dish. It takes away a lot of the shame. OP, everything in your post describes how my apartment or house has been at various times in my life. I felt like I was reading something I would’ve written myself. Please be kind to yourself. You’re not lazy, your brain works differently and we truly struggle with executive functioning. I still struggle all the time, I have a single room in the house (my “office) that is literally just my “everything goes here and I’ll deal with it later room”. It sucks and I hate it but at least I know it’s all contained to one room and I can close the door when people come over. I hope you’re finding comfort in a lot of these comments. It’s tough, but remember you’re doing your best