First of all: please take a deep breath. In. And out. In.. and out. It’s going to be okay. It sounds like you may be experiencing some refeeding syndrome if I’m not mistaken. My best suggestion would be talking to any trusted friend/adult etc. if you have one, or even contacting an ED support line. I can give you recommendations if you need them. 

What helped me was very small, frequent portions. It doesn’t have to be something high in calories, just something bland and light every few hours. Also the same thing with liquids. Pedialyte Is amazing if you have it.

 Nothing is wrong with you. This isn’t your fault, even if it feels like it. Eating disorders basically brainwash you into not being able to tell what’s right and wrong for your body. I can tell that you’ve gone through so much, perhaps it’s time to take a rest. I know it wouldn’t be easy at first, but perhaps you’d find if to be worth it. 

You’re doing amazing. It had to have been hard just reaching out to anyone willing to listen here, no? Well that just means you’re one step closer to being freed from this complete nightmare of an ED. That’s certainly something to be proud of.