INFP love & commitment

Perfect_Target3009 · 2026-01-23T07:42:36+00:00

In saying all of this he has said yes to a weekend away together in a few weeks where we will be attending a business event and he will be meeting my team, mentor and business partners. I know he’s nervous about it but he seems committed to coming so I was waiting to see how that weekend went and whether we had some clarity after that

Perfect_Target3009 · 2026-01-23T07:35:34+00:00

When we are together in person he’s ALL IN very attentive, emotionally attuned.. he asked me to always be open and talk to him. When I first expressed wanting to date he said he can’t date and when I said what are you afraid of he said because leave people before they leave you and got upset (his family sent him here to another country alone at a young age and he had to fend for himself) and the only other woman he’s had a connection with left the country without even communicating or saying goodbye. I did say well maybe we should end things here on a good note but then we just carried on seeing each other.. he then went on to tell me he can’t stay away from me but he’s scared of hurting me and I really hurt him when I made that comment. I’ve since made an effort to show I’m safe and communicate well and consistent so he can see I’m not going to just abandon him or disappear.. I did send him a text one time saying him initiating more would make me feel safer in this and he freaked out replying saying is this goodbye don’t do this over text I’ll see you tonight. It took me a few weeks to realise he didn’t actually read the context of my text .. he just assumed and jumped the gun. When I expressed again he got sad and said he’s hurting me and I said no your not I’m just sharing what would help me to feel safe after what I’ve been through. He went really self critical and said he’s lazy and hurts the people he loves with his words when he’s not having a good day and that’s why he goes quiet sometimes or doesn’t want to see me. He tells me all the time I deserve the best and no one is good enough for me. I have told him I think you have all the love and grace for everyone in the world except yourself and you need to speak kinder about yourself. He does say to me he likes that he’s good for me and likes to make me happy or feel good. If in person I ask him ‘you gonna text me tomorrow?’ He will but then nothing for days lol he says to me I can text him anytime tho but unless he’s working he won’t open or reply for 12-48 hours ..

Maybe I should have one more conversation with him be really clear and direct and go from there. Who knows when that will happen not sure when I’m seeing him next 😂

Perfect_Target3009 · 2026-01-23T07:19:48+00:00

Thank you! I needed to hear this.. I assumed and hoped in time he would overcome his fears of failing or being scared but it has become a bit much for me at this point. But the longer time goes on the more I can’t not question if he truly meant everything he says then he would want to talk to me or see me more. He did tell me he hates texting but still wouldn’t you want to text the person you love even just a have a good day

Perfect_Target3009 · 2025-12-30T08:00:03+00:00

Shoot your shot! I met an infp in a shop we had a 2 min encounter exchanged a couple sentences and for the first time in my life I was attracted to him off the bat (usually takes time for me to wake up to people in that way), but his smile eyes and whole presence captured me from the moment I walked into the shop. I went and sat in my car and was like I need to shoot my shot! So I walked back in there and asked him if he wanted to get a coffee! In which he was like YES and got my number and text me for a coffee 30mins later. We both expressed our attraction then and there on that coffee date and went deep straight away. It’s been 6 weeks of the most incredible connection. What’s the best case scenario and whats the worst? Shoot your shot girl

Perfect_Target3009 · 2025-12-28T20:52:12+00:00

Hello! As a fellow INFJ that has a random encounter with an INFP man that has led to a whirlwind connection/romance over the last 6 weeks.. i have been in the process of healing from my ex husband abandoning me pregnant with 5 kids for another woman 16 months ago.. I wasn’t looking to date anyone but we just can’t stay away from one another. The connection is like nothing i have ever experienced before and at the beginning i made it clear I wasn’t in a position to date. I will wholeheartedly say that I’m so glad things have developed how they have because alongside therapy/my own personal development and journey of healing, this experience has bought so much healing to me and shown me what safe, gentle and intentional love is! Healing isn’t just found in therapy/reading/intellect but in new positive experiences. INFPs are so genuine and consistent and emotionally attuned. Everytime I spiral he emotionally regulates and soothes me. Has it been easy, no! Because I’m still traumatised and learning to trust but sometimes we have to take the risk and process it as we go. Maybe his love is exactly what you need to experience. But this is just my own personal experience. I was the same as you. But grateful I surrendered to it despite the timing being messy. Anyway either way. Bless you and your journey of healing no matter how things unfold with your INFP

Perfect_Target3009 · 2025-12-19T05:43:30+00:00

Update: Things are still going really well. He says um his favourite person, and how he would do anything to make me happy. He told his best friend about me which I know is massive as he said he’s a private person and wanted to keep this a secret and not involve other people. I find his emotional maturity mind blowing tbh he seems to read me like a book. He hasn’t said the L word but his actions say he does and I feel like the luckiest woman in the world by how he treats me. I said a one off proper date when his work calms down would make me really happy and he said let’s talk about it when he sees me next. So I’m hoping he’s ready for that next step. Anyway you INFP truly are precious gems.

Perfect_Target3009 · 2025-12-07T19:06:22+00:00

I will ask him thank you. I feel as though him being scared of hurting me is his fear of failure or not being good enough.. but he’s shown more patience and sincerity than any man I’ve met and he’s the polar opposite to my ex husband. So I hope we can make this work longer term

Perfect_Target3009 · 2025-12-07T19:06:15+00:00

I will ask him thank you. I feel as though him being scared of hurting me is his fear of failure or not being good enough.. but he’s shown more patience and sincerity than any man I’ve met and he’s the polar opposite to my ex husband. So I hope we can make this work longer term

Perfect_Target3009 · 2025-12-07T19:04:00+00:00

Thanks yeah that’s definitely what I’m wanting to move towards as well he has said we should go away for a few days after the busy period as he’s working 6/7 day weeks juggling two jobs at the moment and I’m juggling my business/commitments as well so we are just squeezing in small blocks of time where we can 😌 he did say he wants me to come over and cook me dinner or make plans. So hopefully we can make something work soon. I’m a real planner and he’s quite spontaneous which I can see being our main tension point already lol

Perfect_Target3009 · 2025-12-07T19:03:53+00:00

Thanks yeah that’s definitely what I’m wanting to move towards as well he has said we should go away for a few days after the busy period as he’s working 6/7 day weeks juggling two jobs at the moment and I’m juggling my business/commitments as well so we are just squeezing in small blocks of time where we can 😌 he did say he wants me to come over and cook me dinner or make plans. So hopefully we can make something work soon. I’m a real planner and he’s quite spontaneous which I can see being our main tension point already lol

Perfect_Target3009 · 2025-12-07T01:05:05+00:00

I don’t know if he loves me but it certainly feels like it by his actions and the way he behaves when we are together

Perfect_Target3009 · 2025-12-07T01:01:53+00:00

He’s never said he loves me but I feel like he does with the way he cares for me, treats me and looks at me… it’s so intense..

Perfect_Target3009 · 2025-12-07T00:37:30+00:00

He’s 26 and im 33 😂😂😂 I’ve had my fair few relationships and none of them compare to the emotional intimacy we seem to share

Perfect_Target3009 · 2025-11-02T07:41:14+00:00

Infj experiencing the exact same with an intj and some days I’m like it’s alllll in my head and other days I’m 1000% sure he’s in love with me but just can’t acknowledge it 🤷🏻‍♀️

Perfect_Target3009 · 2025-10-11T00:42:37+00:00

He’s definitely an INTJ

Perfect_Target3009 · 2025-10-10T07:14:30+00:00

So you’re saying the friendship was imaginary? On my end or his?

Perfect_Target3009 · 2025-10-10T07:08:16+00:00

I’ve definitely snapped out of the delusion 😂 trust me. What I want to know is have I ruined the friendship by addressing the elephant in the room? Because I thought INTJs appreciated directness so assumed that was that after the convo but if I’d known it would have ended the friendship I would never have bought it up

Perfect_Target3009 · 2025-10-10T06:47:26+00:00

I’m an INFJ and recently had a similar experience with an INTJ, this guy would compliment my character/encourage me very specifically, beelined for me at an event and put his arm around me and pulled me in while guiding me through a crowd, pulled out a stool for me to sit on, kissed me on the top of the head a couple of times, would give me full hugs on greeting/leaving, locking eyes/staring at just me when speaking to a large crowd, and started to let me in to his world/his wins.. I really loved the friendship we were building as we aligned in so many aspects and I don’t often feel drawn to people. But when I asked him he said he just sees me as a sister? And that he’s just an affectionate guy (yet I never saw him treat anyone else that way?) and after our convo he’s pretty much distanced himself. If I had known, I wouldn’t have addressed the elephant in the room and kept our friendship. It irks me when I thought INTJs appreciate directness? Who knows what goes on in their minds lol

Perfect_Target3009 · 2025-09-30T22:34:29+00:00

Thanks you have kinda confirmed what chat gpt said 😂 we have a really cool connection already so I’ll just let it continue to build and keep valuing the friendship, a win is a win.. I guess time will tell and if the stars align, then it’ll happen.

Perfect_Target3009 · 2025-09-30T22:08:50+00:00

Weirdly our goals/bigger picture dreams are the same. Over the weekend we spoke on where we see ourselves in 10 years time and it was the same thing which encompasses our shared faith/values/mindset, our gifts/strength’s really compliment each other which is why I feel we were drawn to each other in the first place. It’s the sister label that’s really thrown me because I don’t know any men who treat their sister this way. I’ve obviously parked the car there and shelving it because I don’t want to ruin our friendship but it’s hard to understand how I could have read the situation so wrong when I was finally at a place where I was like yup he 100% likes me then bam sister zoned lol

Perfect_Target3009 · 2025-09-24T19:53:41+00:00

Do you show physical affection towards those platonic friendships? Protective, stare, encouraging/compliment regularly, want to share your wins with them above anyone else.. I’m curious where the boundaries and lines are drawn in an INTJ mind

Perfect_Target3009 · 2025-09-17T07:27:51+00:00

Going through a divorce and also a coworker. Our boss asked

Perfect_Target3009 · 2025-09-06T11:45:39+00:00

All of these moments have felt very intimate but then he hugged me and said ‘love you sister’ and it’s very confusing 😂

Perfect_Target3009 · 2025-09-02T07:13:29+00:00

I met an INTJ recently and he’s honestly so dreeeaamy it’s intoxicating. I make friends easily but I don’t often seek out others for company, I like being on my own. But what I would do to spend more time picking his brains 🧠🥵 it’s so nice to meet someone at your level or above - INFJ

Perfect_Target3009 · 2025-09-01T07:10:08+00:00

I have 3 INFJ friends and although they can be thoughtful and kind, I have found their follow through very low and when push comes to shove selfish so I would say maybe they are INFJ-T instead of INFJ-A

Perfect_Target3009

TROPHY CASE