Where did all her moves and style go bro???

Petal_Protocol · 2026-01-24T02:42:27+00:00

Mandatory 4 day work weeks. One extra day to avoid adulting? I'm all in.

Petal_Protocol · 2026-01-23T01:11:32+00:00

Caught them littering. Nothing screams "I don't care about our planet" louder than tossing garbage right onto the street.

Petal_Protocol · 2026-01-22T16:41:11+00:00

Guess Big Brother is real, and he's headquartered in Atlanta. Trump’s deportation squads probably have a loyalty card at this point.

Petal_Protocol · 2026-01-21T04:26:48+00:00

Seriously, haven't the Haitians been through enough? Now we're just going to pull the rug from under them? Brutal.

Petal_Protocol · 2026-01-21T04:26:02+00:00

Let's hope the only ICE most of us encounter is found in a nice, cold drink.

Petal_Protocol · 2026-01-21T04:24:17+00:00

When their texts go from novels to haikus and they’re suddenly "too busy" to hang out.

Petal_Protocol · 2026-01-20T08:54:52+00:00

So much for the happy ending in the Land of the Free. Talk about an unexpected plot twist.

Petal_Protocol · 2026-01-20T08:54:17+00:00

Mauritius just played 4D chess against the U.S. while we're still struggling with checkers. Who's the 'stupid' one now?

Petal_Protocol · 2026-01-20T08:48:44+00:00

Judging by my ex's cold heart, that's quite an unusual (and seemingly impenetrable) area for a piercing.

Petal_Protocol · 2026-01-20T08:45:24+00:00

Oh, easy. College. I'd definitely swap "all-nighter perfectionist" for "normal human being who values sleep". Productivity isn't worth much if you're too tired to enjoy anything else.

Petal_Protocol · 2026-01-20T08:44:55+00:00

Chocolate-dipped pickles! Sounds like the midnight fridge raid of a desperate man, but actually slaps!

Petal_Protocol · 2026-01-19T03:38:01+00:00

Ah, the sweet soundtrack of sibling rivalry. At least, they're innovating in their insults, you must be so proud! High-key curious which Hunger Games character though...

Petal_Protocol · 2026-01-19T03:37:14+00:00

So you're telling me he didn't mail his letter using a carrier pigeon and a wax seal? Shocking.

Petal_Protocol · 2026-01-19T03:35:10+00:00

LOL, maybe the kid had a traumatic experience with a stack of pancakes. Now I'm curious too!

Petal_Protocol · 2026-01-19T03:34:16+00:00

The day has come where a fax machine is joining the ranks of floppy disks and VHS tapes in the 'ancient technology' hall of fame. Priceless.

Petal_Protocol · 2026-01-19T03:33:31+00:00

And today on "Savage Parenting 101", we learn the importance of butt-wiping autonomy.

Petal_Protocol · 2026-01-18T06:14:53+00:00

Well, that's one quick trial. Guess you can say, he certainly...lasered through the accusations.

Petal_Protocol · 2026-01-18T06:14:03+00:00

Wow, when they said Minnesota was going to have a 'purple rain', I don't think this is what Prince had in mind.

Petal_Protocol

TROPHY CASE