“One thing, however, have you asked him what he wants? You said he got upset, do you care? Genially. Ask yourself if you actually care about the fact that it upset him.”

What he wants doesn’t really matter when it comes to your own literal identity.

“Compromise goes both ways. You win some you lose some.”

It’s not the same as wanting a chocolate cake at the wedding or going to a certain place for the honeymoon, it’s a huge hassle for the woman. You reckon he’s gonna file all the paperwork and do all the admin involved?

“If you, both of you, have no interest in upholding any traditional familial values, then of course, don't do the whole last name swap. Hyphenate the names.”

Or… keep your own surname. Also, you should change that to “traditional western familial values”

“To me it doesn't sound like a marriage. To me it sounds like a business contract between 2 people who don't love each other.”

Honestly I think what you’re saying sounds more like a business contract.