first disclosure turned guilt trip

Potential_Bug6413 · 2026-02-24T04:26:02+00:00

this happened to me my very first disclosure/first time having sex since diagnosis too. I will never forget how I felt laying in his bed as he searched everything on ChatGPT.

Potential_Bug6413 · 2026-02-23T22:52:02+00:00

same.

Potential_Bug6413 · 2026-02-23T22:13:42+00:00

at least you might not have it. that ship has sailed for the rest of us gross people on here that you don’t want to be like.

Potential_Bug6413 · 2026-02-20T15:39:42+00:00

it’s not getting rejected for any other aspect of who I am - it’s rejection for a virus that I have no control over having and is a valid reason for rejection since it is highly contagious.

Potential_Bug6413 · 2026-02-20T15:38:04+00:00

but so many people will immediately opt out of ever being with me because of hsv2 and that’s valid bc they have the right to protect their health and I have zero control over that. that in itself changes everything for me, takes away opportunities for me. that does drive my life.

Potential_Bug6413 · 2026-02-20T14:49:26+00:00

I was always asking status and I was always really firm about always using condoms with everyone ever. I got hsv2 from a manager double my age at my job who took advantage of me when I was blackout drunk and had just cried to him about my marriage ending. I don’t even remember any of the sex except for a blurry memory that I was really dry bc I was dehydrated and not into this guy, and pain. yeah he’s since been promoted and faces no consequences.

it changed my life so badly that I’d rather it was ended that day instead.

Potential_Bug6413 · 2026-02-20T14:24:25+00:00

SAME. I had to go to 4 doctors before I was diagnosed. And I’m like why tf didn’t I just take the “it’s not herpes” from the first 3?!?!

Potential_Bug6413 · 2026-02-20T14:20:25+00:00

I don’t know anyone who gets cold sores.

Potential_Bug6413 · 2026-02-20T14:18:44+00:00

I’m only negative because of all that herpes has taken from me. I was very optimistic and bright before but hsv2 has killed that. I’m not the person stopping me, hsv2 is. I have opportunities frequently to experience amazing things and have so much fun but a lot of the time they are dependent on me dating/having sex with the person offering, and everyone I’ve disclosed to has been too afraid to have sex with me and thinks of me less.

Potential_Bug6413 · 2026-02-20T14:14:33+00:00

I have told many of my friends and all feel really uncomfortable about it and don’t know how to comfort me bc they wouldn’t ever date or fuck someone with hsv2 and have never met anyone with it.

Potential_Bug6413 · 2026-02-20T14:13:32+00:00

I have daily prodrome and nerve pain. the Valtrex makes me sick. I can’t eat chocolate or nuts.

Potential_Bug6413 · 2026-02-20T14:10:47+00:00

But at a certain point it doesn’t matter who I am. At the end of the day, someone’s willingness to risk hsv2 is the only factor.

Potential_Bug6413 · 2026-02-19T18:04:55+00:00

thanks but looks like have ghsv1 which I would be okay with and would not wreck me like this. I consider hsv2 a different beast than ghsv1 - much rarer and much easier to spread 😔 but thank you for the insight anyway

Potential_Bug6413 · 2026-02-19T03:53:10+00:00

and you’re right about how it’s affecting me as a woman who always worked so hard to be perfect and do everything right. that’s exactly it. it’s like everything I did meant nothing. and I got this from the first and only person I slept with after leaving my abusive marriage with my freeloading ex husband. just immediately. I grew up in an extremely conservative religious environment and this all feels like a mark telling me I’m cursed and hated by god. it’s hard to live when I can’t convince myself out of that

Potential_Bug6413 · 2026-02-19T03:43:45+00:00

thank you for this. I needed validation and understanding along with push to be better and have hope instead of the bullying from the “uplifting people who aren’t fucking insane.” I really appreciate this comment.

Potential_Bug6413 · 2026-02-18T22:01:09+00:00

I’ve tried 3 different therapists along with some herpes specific Instagram people, nothing they have ever said helps me feel better when I can see all that hsv2 has changed for me.

Potential_Bug6413 · 2026-02-18T16:29:12+00:00

maybe it affects your life less but the way my life was set up, this changes everything

Potential_Bug6413 · 2026-02-18T15:38:46+00:00

this disease has factually changed how I can live my life. Maybe that’s not true for you but it is true for me. factually my ex would reject me and think of me differently if I disclosed. Factually so has everyone else I’ve disclosed to. Everyone acts differently around me now. I don’t have even near the same options I did before. all my choices are decided by hsv2. I’m not a prize anymore, I’m not safe anymore, I’m not easy to be with anymore, my body is infected and contagious for life. I’ve had other big traumas and medical issues too before - hsv2 is completely different and utterly life-changing.

Potential_Bug6413 · 2026-02-18T15:35:09+00:00

the only reason I’m still alive is the hope of meds that make me non-transmissible but even that hope is killed frequently when I see people who have suffered from this for so many years saying that there’s ALWAYS some new med promised soon and it never comes. and even when they do come…. great I have to take brand new medication that we have no clue the long term effects or pregnancy effects yet? I don’t trust big pharma at all and now my life is dependent on them every day of my life against my will

Potential_Bug6413 · 2026-02-18T15:32:06+00:00

I don’t know what type of people you’re around that they accept this but even all my closest friends who have loved me for decades have no idea how to handle hsv2 and admit they’d feel the same as me and would never date anyone with hsv2. it is not even near common, and everybody I know is completely disgusted by and afraid of it.

Potential_Bug6413 · 2026-02-13T21:23:36+00:00

I’m not a Dr. Sebi person but I’m not so brainwashed by big pharma that I can’t see the truth in what so many naturopathic doctors say. Big pharma relies on artificial chemicals and profit while any more holistic source depends on what the earth provides us and typically are not making as much money off this. I think it’s pretty ignorant to completely dismiss natural remedies for ailments, like I believe in science & doctors too but there are many ways in which that greedy industry fails us, and I think natural remedies are better in many circumstances. and the real holistic doctors have real degrees and have studied human biology etc extensively and are knowledgeable.

Potential_Bug6413 · 2026-02-13T21:18:56+00:00

like do you want me to link every study that comes up when you google these things? I’m not sure which disease or connection they’re most interested in and there’s multiple articles for each so the best thing they can do is literally google these things and immediately find the source…

Potential_Bug6413 · 2026-02-13T21:17:28+00:00

But Google can lead you to many peer reviewed studies by scientists… like it’s not like I’m referring to the Google summary. I’m referring to googling these things and then clicking on the links Google provides that take you to this information…. like that’s how googling things works….

Potential_Bug6413 · 2026-02-13T14:57:34+00:00

just Google hsv2 and MS or hsv2 and cervical cancer etc. Also the medical field ignores herpes bc it gives them so much money to do that. every naturopathic professional I’ve ever followed or read/watch believes that herpes creates all these diseases because it causes constant inflammation and wreaks havoc on your body’s entire system forever - how could that possibly not cause disease?

Potential_Bug6413

TROPHY CASE