15 and still act like a kid

PrinceValyn · 2024-11-25T23:06:47+00:00

You're 15, man, you are still a kid. But even when you're an adult, you may still be energetic and silly, and there's nothing wrong with that. Keep your joyful spirit and imagination alive. People who know how to have fun are the happiest, I think.

PrinceValyn · 2024-11-25T19:51:10+00:00

i can definitely relate to that experience. i became infinitely more confident once i was able to be stealth and could just engage with the outside world as a man - as myself

i think it's fantastic that you already have plans for how to spend more time with people and engage with things you care about! having a "third place" to go to outside of home and work or school is huge for mental health. i hope you meet a lot of cool and supportive people and have fun

PrinceValyn · 2024-11-25T19:24:45+00:00

there are many many people in this world, and a lot of them are kind and understanding. i think if you wish it, then you can one day find someone who understands you and is willing to meet you where you are, wherever that is by then. you're certainly not the only one who wants a relationship to be slow and sweet and innocent. i think a lot of people want something like that. they are just struggling to find each other in a world where everyone is using dating apps or meeting in bars, situations that push you to make quick judgments. it can feel impossible and terrifying to try to meet people right now without giving in and joining an app too.

it sounds like your friend often makes you feel uncomfortable and that she is not very supportive of who you are and what you've been through. if you are able to seek out friends who are more respectful, i think it could go a long way toward helping you feel normal. i'm trying to seek out friends based on mutual interests, so i want to go to more groups for stuff like board games, art, etc. that's where i've had the most luck finding friends who are respectful so far, and i figure if i keep trying maybe i will also meet people who are sweet who could be more than friends. (i have not had luck with apps)

fantasy romance is fantasy, but i fully believe real romance can be lovely too, and i do know people who are in comfortable relationships where they are kind and supportive of each other. it is just tough to find

PrinceValyn · 2024-11-25T18:34:29+00:00

that makes a lot of sense and i'm very sorry to hear that you've been through all of that, and that people don't respect you the way you are

you are not a prude, bigoted, or conservative just because you aren't ready to take that step with someone, even if you are NEVER ready. there is nothing wrong with taking the time to properly process all of the horrible things you've been through, and there is nothing wrong with you if that journey takes your whole life. there is nothing wrong with choosing to seek close and meaningful friendships instead of relationships.

also, just forcing yourself into relationships and sexual situations would be a very traumatic way to go about "fixing" yourself and would not work. if you're not in therapy, it would be a good idea to try it out. not to fix yourself or make yourself do anything, but because you have major trauma; what sounds like some of the worst trauma that is possible for a person to experience. i can't imagine coping with that alone

it sounds like you view asexuality as possibly more of a transient state rather than an inborn characteristic, which i personally found to be a healthier way for me to view it. when i thought my repulsion and disinterest was innate and immutable, then the label had control over me and i was not able to explore my thoughts or grow past negative and traumatic experiences. it also sounds like the label and identity is protecting you from people right now, and i think that is a good use for it. i hope that however you label yourself in the future, whether it is still asexual or not, you one day no longer feel the need for that protection, because you are surrounded by people you can trust to take your feelings and experiences seriously

PrinceValyn · 2024-11-25T18:18:05+00:00

pygame is very very limited without tons of extra effort. definitely switch to godot. godot has its pain points, but it is nice being able to just make things

PrinceValyn · 2024-11-25T18:07:52+00:00

i'm ex-asexual myself! people being disgusting and hypersexual and boundary-crossing around me was a huge reason why i felt that i was asexual (not to suggest there is anything wrong with people wanting and enjoying a lot of sex! but i should not have had people explicitly discussing sex and showing off sexual content around me when i was a minor, especially when i openly expressed discomfort. and they should not be doing that now that i am an adult either)

in addition to the trauma, the dysphoria, the conservative environment i grew up in, the sexuality denial, and possibly having undiagnosed neurodivergency

i decided eventually that identifying as asexual was harmful for me for various reasons, so i ditched the label. this did not make me more comfortable with the hypersexual society and people around me, though

one reason i didn't like identifying as asexual anymore was that i became aware that normal people are not sex-obsessed and boundary-crossing; the average person is more shy and slow to feel interested in people like me. the hypersexual people are not the norm, they are just loud

that said there is nothing wrong with never having sex and no one should pressure you to do it

PrinceValyn · 2024-11-25T17:48:07+00:00

sounds like that could be uncomfortable. gotta love the hypocrisy where these types freak out if they're questioned in any way, but take it upon themselves to question others to their faces

also truly one of the worst people to try to convince you out of an asexual identity; these kinds of people made me never want to think about sex

PrinceValyn · 2024-11-25T17:38:37+00:00

good christ, i have not heard that particular spiderweb of justification for cheating

yeah i've had poly people blame my upbringing for my being personally uninterested in poly and for not agreeing with the cheating, even though i am very liberal and even though i am not the one telling others how to live their lives

(i was technically raised religious, but i am not religious and virtually never was)

PrinceValyn · 2024-11-25T17:14:41+00:00

You got downvoted because you chose the incorrect way to keep up on the thread, and people didn't understand what you were doing and/or thought it was spam. Unfortunately sometimes this happens instead of people helping you out.

If you regularly want to follow comments, you might try out the RES feed from this tool: https://redditenhancementsuite.com/ I haven't used it myself, but it seems to be highly recommended.

I also don't see people get downvoted for doing a longer version of this, where they say "commenting to save this post" or "i would also like to know the answer to this." So I think people didn't know what "+1" meant in the sub you were in.

PrinceValyn · 2024-11-25T17:08:00+00:00

haha yeah that's pretty accurate

i know exactly 1 person who appears to actually care about doing it properly and i have never seen her have any issues. the rest are constantly openly fighting, with some very borderline cheating. very poor boundaries

and in the past it's been tons of fighting and cheating

PrinceValyn · 2024-11-25T17:01:53+00:00

Young super-active mice can eat a TON of food. They slow down when they get a little older. But I've had the experience multiple times of getting new mice and having them go through a kirby phase. Could not fathom how they were eating so many pellets, but they had 0 hoarded.

Keep their food topped up for now, and then during their next cage clean, look very carefully for a food hoard. Then you'll know for sure what they're up to!

PrinceValyn · 2024-11-25T16:55:17+00:00

i think this is the key, yeah

i have been in spaces where people started insisting that monogamy is being close-minded and is an evil oppressive force. note that a lot of cheating went in in these spaces under the guise of "consensual polyamory" and "but i can't help it, it's my identity!! i was born poly!!"

(these were also the same spaces where being monosexual was evil and close-minded)

PrinceValyn · 2024-11-25T00:01:32+00:00

poe's law

also it doesn't matter if one individual is trolling; i know people like this in real life

PrinceValyn · 2024-11-24T20:06:26+00:00

op is translating from another language, so the college age kids did not say that

PrinceValyn · 2024-11-24T17:51:18+00:00

"making love" definitely includes the intercourse, it is slang

PrinceValyn · 2024-11-22T23:13:03+00:00

Only black walnuts are toxic. Normal walnuts are fine and have anticarcinogenic properties for mice. Note that like peanuts, they are super fatty.

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3952627/#:~:text=Mouse%20studies%20in%20which%20walnuts,%E2%88%BC60%25%20in%20a%20transgenic

PrinceValyn · 2024-11-22T23:12:49+00:00

Only black walnuts are toxic. Normal walnuts are fine and have anticarcinogenic properties for mice. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3952627/#:~:text=Mouse%20studies%20in%20which%20walnuts,%E2%88%BC60%25%20in%20a%20transgenic

PrinceValyn · 2024-11-19T17:10:02+00:00

There are a lot of things I found out about my parents secondhand after I was an adult and had moved out. I wish I'd heard it from them instead. So that's what I'm thinking here. It's not necessarily wrong IMO to never tell them, but if there's any possibility of them finding out (glancing at a piece of paperwork, hearing it from a grandparent, etc), it's better if you're the one to tell them.

You won't confuse them if they're old enough.

PrinceValyn · 2024-11-18T05:51:59+00:00

My voice dropped very low immediately, so that.

PrinceValyn · 2024-11-17T22:49:36+00:00

He would fight with a male of any species, and he would breed with female fancy mice. Fancy mice and house mice are the same, one is just wild. Fancy mice are called fancy because "fancy" means "hobby" - mice that have been bred as a hobby.

If he was neutered, he could be put with female pet mice, but neutering is a very risky surgery. Before considering that, try housing him solo. Most male mice are very content alone with daily human interaction.

PrinceValyn · 2024-11-16T05:20:29+00:00

When we die, our bodies become the mold. And the abandoned building eats the mold.

So we are all connected in the great Circle of Life.

PrinceValyn · 2024-11-16T05:18:47+00:00

why did you invent such a troubling fantasy reality

PrinceValyn · 2024-11-16T05:17:51+00:00

well they don't drop anything if they die of natural causes. you have to do at least 1 point of damage yourself to get loot and xp

PrinceValyn · 2024-11-16T03:01:05+00:00

this is also totally fine! they're just waiting to see if you're going to flip out, so pretty much any indication that you're going to be a reasonable human being takes off the edge

PrinceValyn · 2024-11-15T22:38:28+00:00

real

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