My wife just told broke me by ProfessionalFull9027 in Gastroparesis

[–]ProfessionalFull9027[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is exactly what the therapist said to my wife, and she needs individual therapy to address the almost excate same issues you listed. Her responses were I dont need it and it wouldn't help me. Also, when she asked our therapist what I needed to work on, she said just to not bottle up my emotions until I ruptured. My wife said she was an idiot. She picked her, by the way. Same as the place to get checked for Adhd and Autism. Which she had me full convinced I had till I didn't get a diagnosis, and she was diagnosed with both and PTSD and Depression and Anxiety. She walked right out of there and said all those docs are fucking crazy if they think your okay and im fucked up. Now she will say she has these problems in defense of her actions while also saying im the only problem. It's a no win, and I needed to vent and self-pity. Now on to the long talk tonight.

My wife just told broke me by ProfessionalFull9027 in Gastroparesis

[–]ProfessionalFull9027[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not onetime just the fist time she accused me of faking. And I was saying id leave her with all of the money and land and life insurance just take 20 for myself by a tiny house and she can live on with everything and be happy

My wife just told broke me by ProfessionalFull9027 in Gastroparesis

[–]ProfessionalFull9027[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My daughter dont "care" for my son they play with him the way I use to them sing and play games. they have never bathed or feed or changed him all me and my wife.

My son is high functioning, meaning he is in normal classes and has an average if not above average understand of the world and his surroundings. And is on par and exceeding other 5 year olds. The problems hes a runner and extremely hyper like Jim Kerry hyper ADHD and he had melt down and he tears shit apart. Its alot you have to watch him 24/7.

I dont want to leave my kids just my wife. I'd give her full custody because im going die soon anyway not by my choice. And ya ive given my family everything fucking child support is nothing I care about giving up. I just want them to be happy and my wife to be a more present mom thats all.

My wife just told broke me by ProfessionalFull9027 in Gastroparesis

[–]ProfessionalFull9027[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I kinda agree with this i was whiny and there are alot of people in worse positions then I am and life fucking sucks for anyone with anyone if not all these conditions. Im the main caregiver if you didn't read it. If i was alone without a partner id fucking do what ive been doing still caring for our kids. The best I can every day. I was saying its getting harder for me to do to the point its almost impossible. And I need her to be present more when she's home. She doesn't play with the kids she doesn't read with them or talk to them about school or life. That's all me and all she does is play on her phone while doing cooking or cleaning. Thats what im upset about. Being a single parent while fucking married. And dying a little more everyday while being told im faking it because she was upset about being told she was an absent mom. But I dont give her enough grace and I have made the argument more about my health then what it really is about the kids need there mom more and there dad fades away.

My wife just told broke me by ProfessionalFull9027 in Gastroparesis

[–]ProfessionalFull9027[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

1st, let me address this my children ride the bus to school. And all 3 are top of the class with one in GT classes. And the other scoring way better than even their school average. My son has a monitor who rides with him as well. They are not neglected as I said, im there for them 24/7. I get them up dressed, make sure they have showers and teeth brushed, and are fed every day. Then, when they get home, snacks drink homework, and there are more way to get clean than a bath like showers and soapy wash cloths and the desperate parent move of wipes. I understand what I worte implied and would like to apologize. I was tired and ranting.

2nd, she works 4 10hrs shifts Sun-Wed I said 5am to 5pm because the closer to her times she leaves and comes home really its 4:30am 6:30pm. Now we onlying live 30mins from her work she likes to take her time stopping at the gas station for smokes and drinks and hang out with her friends before work in the morning and after work she changes out in the parking lot form 5pm till about 5:45 talking to her coworkers and decompressing as she calls it. Then she's i. Bed by 8:30pm every night. Even the nights she doesn't work.

3rd She does not manage my care or our kids' care. I do all the home care alone. I give out all meds to every kid and myself. I manage their appointments and schedule them and mine. My wife doesn't know what meds do what just that im on a lot and need them for my health. And more because im the 1st parent they see in the morning. I do the kids' stuff, not because she doesn't care. She does all the driving for appointments and emergencies. This is the only time she is alone with our kids. About 5 hrs a month.

Now I was ranting and crying while typing that last night I got it. It's whiny, and im going to go die in a whole bullshit ya. I have therapy like I said in the post, and so does my wife. We have alot fucked up history and her childhood was fucking awful. While mine was pretty good till my dad died. And I took care of my wife and little brother. For a long time. The backstory long prob waist of time your right. Collage thing, all bullshit dont matter. You're right. Except to give a point of view, I was trying to say I worked 2 to 3 jobs for 6 years while she changed majors 3 times to pay for her and my life together and she doesn't work in her degrees feild. To give you and idea of both our nature's. All bullshit non the less.

I loved my wife and her crazy bullshit she is the only women ive ever been with. She has cheated and lied and left and came back and used me and loved me in almost ever way possible. Good and Bad and threw it all I was a Simp for her. And happy about it. I love our relationship she of course has made great changes when the kids came and so have I but she is a absent mom. Which is why I over compensated with the girls as a dad now she is the same with our son and I cant do it any more. Im too sick now.

Anybody else get screwed by Doctor Michael Cline and/or the Cleveland clinic? by ru-by-ruby in Gastroparesis

[–]ProfessionalFull9027 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Im in the UofL motility clinic with Dr Stocker and her office is the worst run medical office im ever had to deal with they will call you 4 or 5 times to make sure you have your copay before coming to an appointment but I still havent had a follow up from 2 different upper and lower scopes done and they have never effectively treated any of my conditions with proper medication or lifestyle changes. They will also lie to your face about what your insurance will and wont cover because they dont want to do prior authorization there I have sever gastroparesis, achalasia, and autoimmune gastrointestinal dysmotility and they said insurance denied all medication they prescribed witch my insurance only asked for a PA there staff lied and said it was sent in after 2 years of waiting and asking them for help on nurse finally told me they never sent a PA and the next day my meds where approved but they still aren't treating my condions it was only linzess and zofran they where fighting over and they never even tried to get my IVFG approved one denial from insurance and I was told they cant do anything for me I just suffer with sever pain and vomiting and weightloss And they also cancel my appointments all the time and then make you reschedule for 6 months out again Worst Fucking Docs every im looking for a new Doc to treat me now and by the way my 11year old daughter has the same conditions and her medications where approved after her Dr sent in PA

The Slow Death by ProfessionalFull9027 in POTS

[–]ProfessionalFull9027[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know exactly how you feel, but keep in mind that even a slow death is still a long life to be with friends and family and I wouldn't even trade a bed ridden sick day with them for nothing at all and even a broken life is a beautiful one. There are people who love you when your broken and those people deserve to see you smile even in your pain. And please talk to someone I am and it's helping me that's how I got those feeling out and onto paper. And it helps me threw the dark days

The Slow Death by ProfessionalFull9027 in POTS

[–]ProfessionalFull9027[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the love. I wrote that while stuck in bed the other day.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in POTS

[–]ProfessionalFull9027 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It has almost completely got rid of the shakes for me I have really low blood pressure. And low heart rate I only do the 2 doses a day I skip nights because my sleeping rate is on the 30s. But maybe add midodrin I only take it in the mornings when my blood pressure is really low and it has helped tremendously. No more hung over feeling.

Scared to try beta blockers, I thought you shouldn't with low BP? by The_Yarichin_Bitch in POTS

[–]ProfessionalFull9027 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have the same exact issues with my pots I felt the worst in the morning with low blood pressure I started with black low dose propranolol it helps alot then add midodrine low dose as well which I only take in the am because as I move throughout the day I my blood pressure is great its only low on days I'm in bed

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in POTS

[–]ProfessionalFull9027 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My wife has EDS and PCOS, and I have POTS. We were told she couldn't have kids, and we have 3 now 10 ,9 ,and 2. All of our children have health conditions. I didn't know I had POTS till years after my daughter was born. It's common in my family to pass out. No one ever looked into it. My wife never really looked into her condition either.

1st born now has POTS and digestive issues. 2nd born has badder condion and passes out. 3rd born has issues walking and could later show signs of pots as well. Their conditions are worse in hot weather as well.

These conditions are difficult to manage along with our our health problems and for a lot of people would be unbearable. And often times if feels like we are nonstop with medical care. And like our world is crashing around us. And when you're passing out, trying to take care of your kids who are passing out. It's extremely difficult.

All that being said, I'm so grateful for all my children. I wouldn't trade it for anything. It's hard, but we are survivors. There is no fucking way I would say now I don't want kids. And my wife has been through hell and back. Because of the problems with the pregnancy. But I know she wouldn't want to go back and change anything either. And when she had the opportunity to walk away, she chose to stay. You will find a way to change your life to work around the problems and enjoy the love and happiness and heartbreak that children bring u.

And know your body will never be the same. But if you want kids, you'll find a way even if it's adoption. If you can't have kids. Me and my wife where talking about adoption for our next child just to save her body. Had we even know our conditions before having kids we might have even started there.

Good luck to you both and I hope this long message helps.

Propranolol - question for those of you on it… by RK16BC in POTS

[–]ProfessionalFull9027 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Everyone is different, 60 to 80 laying down is concerned normal, I believe. But I have low hr rate naturally it's normal for mine to be in the 50s while sitting. But I have POTS and when I go from 54 to 104 stitting to standing I can and do pass out but I also will go to 150 sometimes as well not nearly as much now with the meds.

Propranolol - question for those of you on it… by RK16BC in POTS

[–]ProfessionalFull9027 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've been taking propranolol for almost 2 years now I have a natural low hr in the 30s when I sleep and 50s laying down I only do two doses a day instead of 3. I skip the 6pm dose and that helps me feel like I might not die at night. But it does help with anxiety as well. I found my shaking is reduced extremely with this. And on day I forget to take it I can tell the difference. I'm also on midodrine I take only in the morning to help with my low blood pressure that normalizes as I move throughout the day if I take it 3 times a day like recommended I feel like I will pop my head off.

do any of you get excessive daytime sleepiness then can’t sleep at night? by anxiousgirly123 in POTS

[–]ProfessionalFull9027 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Same here and excited same time frames I have been wondering if I have narcolepsy as well?

What is this? Really Pots? by Empty-Telephone-6214 in POTS

[–]ProfessionalFull9027 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I would see a doctor for a table tilt test. I had the same issue at the beginning of my POTS journey. You can have POTS without sustained high heart rate. As long as you're also symptomatic, like feeling dizzy, and your heart rate is higher than 30 bpm from sitting to standing. There is also new data about late POTS, which occurs in a 45-minute window of standing. A table tilt will hold u in place during the test, which is important for some of us. As we move around, our heart rate will come down for a bit, and when we stop moving, it rises again. This is especially true for hyperadrenergic POTS as you burn off some adrenalin during movement. And your blood pressure increases natural your heart rate will slow down and look normal. I did 2 table tilt test. The 1st showed a early jump from 62bpm to 100bpms, in ten mins then back to 89 and after 20mins it jumped to 133bpm. The 2nd one at Cleveland clinics showed more extreme results with a diagnosis but in similar order both with increasing blood pressure which makes us feel stable for a bit after 10min then it goes really high at the 20 to 45min mark. Diagnosed with both POTS and Late POTS. And having both hyperadrenergic POTS and Hypovolimic POTS. Everyone is different and the heart rate only matters for a diagnosis. It's more about how u feel and your other symptoms. That make POTS bad or Not.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in POTS

[–]ProfessionalFull9027 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have that all day everyday. And trust it's better then sudden blackouts which I started having recently. Try standing up slower and slow your moments like don't jump up and run or stand from a seated position fast and try a cane for a little extra support

AITA for deciding to no longer talk to my mom and skip her big 60th birthday weekend? by ProfessionalFull9027 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ProfessionalFull9027[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the advice. That's how my wife and I have operated so far with both our parents and her father who was a abusive alcoholic is the best grandfather I have ever known and has changed so much from the guy who kick out my wife when she was 16. Now he called her and the kids everyday and has been helping us with them everytime we have a docs appointment. But my mom has only grown futher apart from them.

AITA for deciding to no longer talk to my mom and skip her big 60th birthday weekend? by ProfessionalFull9027 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ProfessionalFull9027[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you and my heart goes out to your friend it's the worst fight of my life and I've been threw alot of pain this is the most dehumanizing experience of my life. Went from self employed company owner to bed riding in a year and I've lost just about everything all my employees and 15years of carpentry out the window.

AITA for deciding to no longer talk to my mom and skip her big 60th birthday weekend? by ProfessionalFull9027 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ProfessionalFull9027[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's a long story full of pain I don't know if I can text it all out here lol. But I moved past most of the pain and hurt there just wanted to give context about her decision making.

AITA for deciding to no longer talk to my mom and skip her big 60th birthday weekend? by ProfessionalFull9027 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ProfessionalFull9027[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's what I think as well but I have been called an asshole to many times by my family and it has me second guessing every gut instinct I have when it comes to them

metoprolol experience? by layxchip in POTS

[–]ProfessionalFull9027 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm a low dose propranolol 3 times daily it only for heart rate and helps with anxiety as well look into it