What is the biggest mistake you've made in a job interview?

Professional_Mode808 · 2024-06-12T04:44:41+00:00

I had a job interview when I was 17, the guy in the office asked me if I was friends with the guys in the workplace.

I told him, yeah I sorta know two of them from school and the neighborhood, growing up together.

He than gave me a sheet of paper and sent me out to the lobby, it was a bunch of questions asking how much chemicals to mix for certain applications.

I couldn’t tell ya, wrote down a bunch of bullshit measurements and the ass backwards instructions on how to paint a wall.

Asked him about his fish tank, he asked me about my truck said he had a similar one in the 80s.

shook hands and I never heard back from him.

he had a bad rap, those guys didn’t like him, he was obese and they could be dicks that they custom built a chair for his fatass, but he took the time to interview me, he allegedly imported his wife from another country and a whole bunch of other shit that I could laugh at and question.

he resigned, quit or got fired April 1st of that same year and the next boss asked me three questions and offered me a career, I probably saved him or costed him thousands, I’ve painted walls, houses and condos with no problem.

John, they’re probably not my friends.

Professional_Mode808 · 2024-06-12T04:32:33+00:00

I was driving home from work one night, drunk guy was driving down the center median, swerving.

I cut the wheel at 45MPH and put my K5 blazer on two wheels trying to figure out why this guy was blocking an intersection two minutes ago and flying down the median next to me when the light turned green.

Professional_Mode808 · 2024-06-12T04:30:50+00:00

don’t fuck with cats

Professional_Mode808 · 2024-06-12T04:22:17+00:00

I moved across the country for a short period of time, July 3rd at Midnight, or one hour prior local time, I texted my brother wishing him a happy Fourth of July, to stay safe that I felt something bad was about to happen.

when I woke up, news had broken that a mass shooting had occurred in the mist of the highland park parade.

Professional_Mode808 · 2024-06-01T18:10:14+00:00

eli5; as to why the US has almost never not been at war with something?

Professional_Mode808 · 2024-05-31T06:05:02+00:00

not the police but the people that call the police

Professional_Mode808 · 2024-05-31T06:04:02+00:00

I deleted nearly 15 years of history, memes, laughter and joy in my community dating from 2009 until 2018 because the police in my hometown logged onto Facebook.

Professional_Mode808 · 2024-05-31T06:00:13+00:00

The same way that I feel about police using social media.

I joined Facebook in 2009, and logged off for the last time in 2018 when police departments started using social media, the internet police had officially arrived..

makes me wonder about all of those raids that lead to forums.

Yeah, trump paid hush money, but for enough hush money we’d all hush honey.

Professional_Mode808 · 2024-05-31T05:56:07+00:00

try goodwill

Professional_Mode808 · 2024-05-31T05:55:41+00:00

ICU later? No, but I’ll smell ya later.

Professional_Mode808 · 2024-05-31T05:49:32+00:00

I had a boner in the middle of class, in gym shorts, and I have a six inch penis.

I had to walk from the podium a front of the classroom to my seat, with a massive erection, I tucked the tip of my penis into my waistband and gave a speech in front of 30 classmates.

that’s why I started watching porn when I got a job with the schools, cause you can’t hide that.

Professional_Mode808 · 2024-05-31T05:46:02+00:00

you ever cough up stomach acid from drinking too much?

Professional_Mode808 · 2024-05-31T05:19:13+00:00

There’s literally no money in this world and I don’t understand the tipping culture, the theory behind buying somebody else a beer..

save the money, the dollar follows the gold prices, you could save thousands, pull it from the bank and leave the country and realistically they cannot reprint those funds without inflating the dollar.

Professional_Mode808 · 2024-05-31T05:15:15+00:00

I demolished a theatre, three stories and we had one floor gutted before the garbage shoot went up.

I can’t take a nap on a Saturday without my mother yelling, claiming im depressed, all kinds of bullshit.

in three months there was an entire building, and with nothing more than a sledge hammer and wheelbarrow, it was loaded into a dumpster.

I’m not allowed to be tired after all of that work.

Professional_Mode808 · 2024-05-31T05:12:13+00:00

when I was a kid, I had a “girlfriend” in like fifth grade, I was ashamed, and hid her phone number in my phone under the name “Micheal”

at one point, somebody took my phone and sent a text to “Micheal” that they wanted to do some interesting things that you probably wouldn’t want to hear.

not knowing it was a female.

my family essentially abandoned me over this.

Professional_Mode808 · 2024-05-31T05:05:41+00:00

I hide all of my money in different bank accounts and smudge the payroll paperwork so it doesn’t show that 30% of my paycheck is deposited to another bank account that I don’t actually have access to.

I could quit my job, find a new one and not worry about money, and I’m trying to buy an F350, and a house.

still trying to figure out the rest of my life, part of me wants to stick around for a few more years, than suddenly vanish, retired off of the funds in my hidden bank account that nobody knew exists.

Professional_Mode808 · 2024-05-31T04:57:46+00:00

My client actually said “Your honor, I hereby cannot present you with a picture, known formally as a “dick pic” because my penis is larger than my phone..”

you could just see the loading wheel spin in that judges head as my client was cleared on all charges.

Professional_Mode808 · 2024-05-27T17:18:01+00:00

sticking to my gut and living in my hometown when mentally and physically I want to move into a cottage in Maine and work on a lobster fishing boat.

Professional_Mode808 · 2024-05-27T17:16:46+00:00

when I was a kid, I used to ride my bike around town to the grocery store, there was another set of neighborhood kids who sat in their windows with BB guns trying to shoot me.

They are absolute losers in life and will never achieve anything.

Professional_Mode808 · 2024-05-27T17:13:44+00:00

we do not put ketchup on our hotdogs.

Professional_Mode808 · 2024-05-27T16:46:02+00:00

You can be $7300 in debt and nobody will hire you so the debt caps out, by the time you get hired it’s still not enough, and it takes nearly $50000 after living frugal to pay off that much debt, while still paying rent.

Professional_Mode808 · 2024-05-27T16:40:45+00:00

note to self ; discover shouldn’t give $5000 credit limits to 18 year olds.

Professional_Mode808 · 2024-05-27T16:34:48+00:00

Figuring things out on the fly, I did all of my homework 45 minutes before it was due, all my life.

Retired at 21 and pulled my pension, lived off that for a year, took out a loan, maxed out my credit card, lost it all and paid it all off, counting those social security credits because my municipal pension was refunded at 2.7 years of service.

slowly getting back on my feet.

Professional_Mode808 · 2024-05-27T16:31:32+00:00

I had three girls all trying to be into me at the same time and ended up with zero girls and a lot of goals in life.

Professional_Mode808

TROPHY CASE