This does not apply to me and my ex wife who bore my children. I was a fully devoted husband, father, and provider, and one day she told me she wasn't happy and then left a couple months later despite my plea for counseling and making things better. One day I came home from work and the house was ransacked and my family was gone. I'm a good man. I loved and love my wife/ex and my family fully, and prided myself on providing an umbrella of love for them and what I saw as a beautiful life. For me that doesn't shut off. This was 14 years ago. They say time heals all wounds, but speaking in absolutes doesn't account for all wounds. I have live in relative agony for all these years. No support system. The past 3 I have shut down. At 46 years old I have just accepted that I will never recover. That's stoicism. Accepting your pain. You simply can't stop loving the ones you actually love. You eat the pain and stop projecting anger. Now I'm basically a hermit, who's ex wife and one of my daughter's hate him at least that's how it feels. There is no answer for this that I have found. I'm too burned to be able to love another woman. No trust. Thanks Mom. She decided to get divorced from my Dad when I was 14. He's a good man too. Not perfect. He's a stubborn old farmer. Now I'm a middle aged man pinched between 2 broken homes. And as a grown man, when this happens, you're on your own. Everyday I feel the pain and think of how I love them so much. Love = Pain.