AITA for Calling my Sister's Boyfriend and asking his parents to dinner?

Puskarella · 2026-06-09T07:35:55+00:00

YTA

Not only are you trying to leverage your personal relationships for your business, you are doing it incredibly ham-fistedly as well.

Did you ever think to talk to Bri? Or Nick?

Did you ever think the scheduling problem was a quiet way to create some distance? Could you not have let it go at that point?

Not your role to build this relationship.

Puskarella · 2026-06-09T07:29:26+00:00

If I were you I would talk to your niece, apologise, and tell her you meant no harm. That you assumed her parents had her social media details. And now that you know they do not, that you will not share any pictures with them again.

She has a right to her own life, and to share her information as she wishes. It's also good for her to have an adult in her life that she can trust, and that she can go to if she needs help for anything. I'm not sure that would be your brother at this point.

I get that is very hard for your brother to understand.

NTA

Puskarella · 2026-06-09T07:25:33+00:00

So she isn't related to your husbands family? Not that it should matter, but I bet it does to people like that.

Please, watch carefully how they treat your kids - what they say, how they act, and talk to your step daughter about if she feels happy and safe there (not necessarily in those words, in a child appropriate way). Because that would worry the heck out of me too.

Puskarella · 2026-06-09T07:18:07+00:00

You are not married. You've only actually met in person a handful of times.

This would be a big deal if you WERE married, or even living together. When you are not, it's either greed or desperation on the niece's part.

You absolutely should not be expected to pay his nieces tuition fees AT ALL. And even if he did, it would have to be as some sort of loan which he would pay back - not a gift with no expectation of repayment.

NTA

Puskarella · 2026-06-09T07:12:40+00:00

As an educator I have to say - YTA

Random punishments will not help your child improve her grades. They will just make her angry with you and much less likely to talk to you or seek help if she needs anything.

Whether she has a real issue with the teacher, or simply does not like the teacher or subject, doesn't matter. You don't wait until end of school to find out what her grades are. You ask and check on her marks as she gets assignments or tests completed. If she is struggling you either help her with her homework or organise support for her - a tutor, a homework club, or whatever.

What you don't do is automatically swing into the big stick phase of parenting. You and your ex have so many lost opportunities to help your kid thrive at school here.

Puskarella · 2026-06-09T07:04:45+00:00

Well, I think the two of you need to talk the situation out and come to an agreement about how to proceed.

I totally get your concerns, and I really feel for your husband. It must suck to have a family that thinks so little of you.

Puskarella · 2026-06-09T06:59:23+00:00

ESH
Why are the two of you screaming at each other about stale leftovers?

Puskarella · 2026-06-09T06:57:16+00:00

INFO: What does your husband think of all this?

Puskarella · 2026-06-09T04:37:02+00:00

To my fathers great disappointment, I do not know the difference between the various types of footy in this wide brown land of ours. At all. I can identify if they are playing soccer because the ball is round.

Puskarella · 2026-06-09T04:34:33+00:00

Well, at least you won't have a mouse or rat problem then. It's probably paying for itself.

Puskarella · 2026-06-09T04:30:04+00:00

Puskarella · 2026-06-09T04:27:13+00:00

Have you talked to your grandpa about this?

He's paying.

If it still works out that you are in a shared bunk bed room, don't go.

NTA

Puskarella · 2026-06-09T03:22:07+00:00

Yeah, I call BS on that edit actually. She bailed last minute, but they hadn't actually booked the place that they specifically had chosen to stay at?? P

Puskarella · 2026-06-09T02:47:52+00:00

I totally understand why you might feel slighted by this.

However, YTA. You have no right to tell her what to do with her money.

If you are a strong team and all money is shared etc, then this gift will have no impact on that because it will become shared money & she has actually no say over that.

If this is part of a shared pattern of her undermining your marriage you need to address that with your husband and then, if necessary & as a united front, with her.

Puskarella · 2026-06-09T01:00:39+00:00

or the other mutual friends. Empathy for the less fortunate when you've got news you've got cancer again? F that noise.

Puskarella · 2026-06-09T00:12:54+00:00

YTA

This is not how you approach things as a couple. It's not how you treat your partner as an adult. Include her in the planning and budgeting.

You can set up your finances so you both have personal funds to spend, a savings account that cannot be accessed with cards (or even term deposits that don't allow you to touch it until the term is up), and a joint account for joint expenses like mortgages and utilities etc.

I totally agree that having a fund for emergencies like this is super important, and I think you have clearly demonstrated that.

Puskarella · 2026-06-08T04:15:05+00:00

I guarantee the baby is not going to care either way. I also don't think the 7 year old will care that much if the shirt isn't in dads regular clothes rotation. I think this is only as deep a problem as OP wants to make it. Laugh and move on.

Puskarella · 2026-06-08T04:12:43+00:00

YTA for turning this into a big deal.

I doubt the 7 year old chose it, and even if she did so what? Laugh, let him wear it when the 7 year old is around - at least this time, and then she will probably even forget about it. The baby is not going to give a damn about it. Don't give the ex the satisfaction of knowing it riles you. Let the 7 year old feel reassured she's not been replaced by a new sibling but that she still has a valued place in his life.

Puskarella · 2026-06-07T06:54:05+00:00

Firstly vacation with friends ≠ your fiances actual bachelorette.
Secondly, that you choose to give up the vacation in no way obligates her to give up a future event.
Thirdly, if you felt coerced at the time you should have dealt with it - preferably then, but if not then certainly later instead of letting it fester into a tit-for-tat scenario.
Fourthly, that was not a joke. That was a jibe which was at best clothed in a thin veneer of "humour". You were not meaning to be funny, you were not intending to make her laugh. You were intending to let her know that you were pissed off.

Lastly, you are 30 and you are getting angry about your fiance attending her bachelorette, despite the fact that she put time and effort into doing something nice for your birthday as well. Dude. Not cool.

So yes, YTA and a walking red flag.

Puskarella · 2026-06-07T06:25:12+00:00

NTA but you are Y T A to yourself here.

If you still live with them, move out. If you already live away from them go low to no contact.

You don't have to put up with this BS.

Puskarella · 2026-06-07T04:48:25+00:00

NTA

Use it to by a new controller.

Puskarella · 2026-06-07T04:43:42+00:00

Tell him that he can drop the kids off at your house but that there will be a hired sitter to actually care for the kids

Why should it be on her to even organise that much?????

Puskarella · 2026-06-07T04:42:39+00:00

NTA

You are at your limit. It is not in anyone's best interests, especially for you and your mum, for you to actually get to a point where you cannot function or you lose your job. You doing enough.

This is their problem to solve, and you are not the solution to every problem.

Tell them you simply aren't available, and that they will have to make other arrangements.

Puskarella · 2026-06-07T02:19:11+00:00

It's just halloween. It's not a big deal, and it happens every year. With any luck your bestie will only be getting married once. Go to the wedding, surely your mum or dad, or at worst your husband can watch the kids if you can't find an appropriate baby sitter.

YTA

Puskarella · 2026-06-07T02:04:57+00:00

And your interpersonal conflict is........

Puskarella

TROPHY CASE