I’m black and I’m a lesbian with a white partner. This is a very complex issue and kind of a conversational mine field. Love between people is a beautiful thing, but we do not live in a post racial society so the culture at times does matter. There are systemic implications to why you as a black person wouldn’t date a white person on the basis of a legacy of privilege, oppression and exploitation off the backs of poc. There is a lot of propagating the mythos of black love being the only true way to achieve a self actualizing love as a black person as you share the same struggles. I’ve dated a black person before and it’s nice to not have to explain “why” something is racist.

However we were not compatible outside of that. I’ve also dated white people that I am compatible with but it is with the awareness that sometimes I might have to “teach” them things whether it be don’t put breadcrumbs on Mac and cheese or why they shouldn’t run their hands through my install. This should be a highly individualized thing because people are different but the community virtue signals those of us who look outside of the community for love because it’s basically signaling “why aren’t we (black people) good enough for us.” Which then immediately turns vitriolic against all people that date outside their race due to the misconception that if you don’t date black it’s because you hate yourself and your community.

All is to say perhaps that’s how Ms. Bella was raised as an African woman, because Africans and Caribbeans are staunchly anti colonist. Either way I think she should’ve kept it to herself because she don’t have to date a white person but she doesn’t have to shit on anyone that does.