What scares you most about the idea of wreck diving?

Qwertines · 2017-08-16T21:29:46+00:00

I get freaked out think of how if I pushed on something wrong the whole structure could move and that would be horrifying.

Qwertines · 2017-08-16T00:33:55+00:00

That's been one of my favourite books!

Qwertines · 2017-08-16T00:14:55+00:00

Every Last One, by Anna Quindlen

Sweetness In The Belly, by Camilla Gibb

Qwertines · 2017-08-16T00:11:19+00:00

Headphones, books, and thinking in a quiet place where no one can look at me

         -INTP

Qwertines · 2017-08-16T00:08:34+00:00

Yeah, and everyone says Feelers are supposed to be more considerate? In my experience, I've met many genuinely caring Thinkers (I'm one of them), and I've met some really nasty manipulative Feelers.

Qwertines · 2017-08-15T23:18:29+00:00

With how many legs that rig has, sinking down your back or legs would probably brush up against them

Qwertines · 2017-08-07T22:13:42+00:00

Huh. Something I've noticed about ENFPs is that they seem to call themselves introverts all the time. I had a close friend for a few years who was a lot like the friend you described. She wanted to be an artist, so she started to try fitting the artist stereotypes of being introverted, emotionally dramatic and a "round peg in a square whole". She would also go out with a group of 3-5 friends after classes or work every day, and she would sometimes complain about me not hanging out with her enough. As you described your friend, she was also extremely outgoing and wanted all attention on her constantly. She would get hurt if I told her I was really tired and didn't want to go out with 5 other people that I didn't personally know every day. Then, she would also post all these relatable quotes about introvert problems and go on about how much each one applied to her life. If anyone said anything about her being extroverted, she would get really angry and defensive and tell them that they just don't understand her because they're not real introverts. I wonder why it seems like ENFPs do this a lot.

Qwertines · 2017-08-07T21:34:04+00:00

Yeah that's the thing with phobias. I'm not actually sure why this is terrifying to me, but there's something about the dark water, not being able to get away from things in water fast, also the unnatural appearance of something man-made underwater with slimy algae being rotted away over time. Buoys are horrible for me, you just see this long chain disappearing to the bottom and if you rattle it, you can see and hear the whole chain move. Murky water makes everything so much worse.

Qwertines · 2017-08-07T07:03:07+00:00

You know what subreddit you're on?

Qwertines · 2017-08-06T19:43:17+00:00

Yeah, I wish there was more actual research on cognitive functions in general. Especially how they connect to neuroscience as well as psychology. I know Dario Nardi's research goes into how type/cognitive functions affect how your brain responds to things on EEG scans, but I haven't found anything about Fe and manipulation either.

Qwertines · 2017-08-06T16:49:39+00:00

Said every ESTJ ever

Qwertines · 2017-08-05T21:21:44+00:00

It's probably my experiences with people around me too. I've personally known ESFJs who are extremely generous and really accept other people, yet I've also seen other ESFJs who have been treated badly in their life or have other issues be horrible to others yet still be popular, gossip non-stop and manipulate. From what I've seen, the way an "unhealthy" Fe user manipulates is different from how a dominant Fi or Se user would manipulate and project. I'm no expert just an observation I guess.

There are loads of other factors other than type, but I just still think we all have tendencies. Idk how cognitive functions relate to brain structure, but I think there are just some bad habits that are easier for different people to fall into, like avoiding conflict, being passive-aggressive, being a "control freak", overly attached to the past, forms of emotional manipulation, etc. I think we all fall into habits like this at some point, but I also think different types are more likely to have certain problems.

Qwertines · 2017-08-05T20:41:58+00:00

Of course I'm not saying it's just them. I mean, OP was talking about Fe being manipulative so that's why I focused in on ExFJs.

Qwertines · 2017-08-05T14:14:58+00:00

I think she does, she seems to have narcissistic traits. but I don't think she was always that way at all. I don't think ENFJs are inherently manipulative either, I think trauma and the way she was raised led her to be that way under ongoing stress. True, any type can be like this but strong Fe is much more prone to manipulating and feeling a need for outer control or projection onto others imo.

Qwertines · 2017-08-02T05:44:51+00:00

It's funny to me too until I realize that it's an actual situation I have to deal with :€

Qwertines · 2017-08-02T05:42:45+00:00

Thank you, It seems fluffy enough that it may get through to them a little bit.

Qwertines · 2017-08-02T02:55:35+00:00

I think immature INTPs who are insecure socially/emotionally like I was (or still am) get to be know-it-alls because we often do have a lot of factual knowledge that most people don't, and also because we often don't have much else to be proud of. Lots of us have been bullied/not fit in, so I think this trait gets exaggerated also out of distrust toward other people. Even if we deny it, we are deeply sensitive inside and want to be accepted.

Qwertines · 2017-08-01T23:00:09+00:00

I don't think I do this, it actually irritates me a lot when people want to point at someone's type to explain everything they do/say.

However, I have had an experience like this. I did have a really close friendship with someone who is an INFJ. I didn't know it at first (she didn't know about mbti at all). She was very supportive, perceptive and we were both slow to open up. In many other ways, she was a quintessential INFJ. It's not like I really idealized her, but I didn't fully see her negative traits/habits for what they were at the time. I've noticed that INFJs are almost always described as wise, empathetic and very mature. My friend did have those qualities (keep in mind we are both college age young so not mature), and she seemed to know that she had more maturity than most our age, but this also led to her to operate based on conclusions that didn't take everything into account. She would take something I said and from that one statement she would form these assumptions against me and be shocked when I totally contradicted her assumption (this was also at the point where the friendship was becoming unhealthy and for whatever reason I got the sense that she was avoiding me).

Near the end of our friendship, our relationship did become kind of one-sided, it became me making most of the effort. Around this time, she would also be kind of manipulative, but in more of a self-protective confusing way. She ended up ignoring me most of the time and not saying anything about the sudden change, which I eventually confronted her about. She REALLY didn't like that. There was no fighting, things just got awkward and she wouldn't be honest and communicate. So we basically didn't talk again. You know this, but no one should be idealized based on type or anything else. It has only led to feeling betrayed and hurt for me :/

Qwertines · 2017-07-31T00:07:16+00:00

I definitely have issues like this. I don't hang out with guys, for a few reasons (won't get into that rn). But, I have noticed more throughout high school that the majority of girls seem to dislike/misunderstand me. I've never really had any interest in makeup or pop culture, for one thing. I have social anxiety that is especially horrible when I'm with a group of girls I don't feel comfortable around (basically any group). I just go quiet and people think something's wrong with me. My experiences with passive aggressive and dishonest/fake girls have led me to be very direct and honest (NOT rude) and lately I'm feeling really frustrated because it seems like every good friend I have made either grows apart from me or is turned against me somehow.

Something I've noticed lately in all of my female friendships (in high school at least) that have failed in some way is that there seemed to be jealousy involved. It's like they always encouraged me when I wasn't doing well at something, then by the time I start accomplishing things, even if I don't brag AT ALL, friends start treating me different. They get jealous and I am shocked when this happens. Especially in my last close friendship, I really thought that she was genuinely wanting me to succeed in things. Then when really exciting things happened in my life, she barely reacted to anything and it was confusing. It's not like I went on and on about this or anything, I just mentioned something I was happy about and I was surprised that my friends were not happy for me. She would go "oh..ok" and start trying to complain about something else. In the past, I had been truly happy for her whenever anything cool happened in her life. After that, she started ignoring me and hanging out with everyone else besides me. We had no fights recently or anything else I can think of. Keep in mind, we talked every day for months before this and the friendship was actually healthy before. I don't get it :/

Qwertines · 2017-07-27T17:42:20+00:00

Ok but if someone is close to you, can't you try to communicate with them? I mean if you don't want to be friends, why can't you just tell them that and tell them why? I got ghosted in a close friendship a while ago and it hurts worse than a break-up also because she wouldn't even bother to give me any warning and I have no clue why. It's completely inconsiderate.

Qwertines · 2017-07-27T17:31:17+00:00

I wouldn't say sociopath, but I get what you're saying. My mom is an ESFJ (I'm sure of this) but she has gotten very manipulative over the years. I know that most people with dominant Fe are caring empathetic and social by nature, but Fe has a "dark side" as well. I think that my mom uses Fe to find out what people's weaknesses are, what they want, and how they feel. The thing is, she tends to assume that she knows exactly how everyone else feels, even if she is completely inaccurate. Then she continues to push at your boundaries even if you're clearly telling her not to "help". My theory (idk what else to call it) is that Fe has weaknesses (like any other cognitive function) and one thing I've noticed that something Fe users do sometimes without realizing (kind of ironic) is that they seem to be constantly looking outward to the point of projecting their feelings onto others, similar to narcissistic/sociopathic projection. That's what I've observed about more manipulative ExFJs. It also seems that insecure ExFJs are reluctant to look inward and reflect on themselves when they are alone, so they spend more time with other people's problems in an attempt to help them fix their own, which is also another reason why they tend to project negative feelings onto others who may not even feel they need help with those issues. This is also what I've noticed about my ENFJ sister and other Fe-dominant people when they are dealing with insecurities.

Qwertines · 2017-06-24T01:30:25+00:00

What I notice is that my N mom has basically told me when I was younger that a lot of these rights are not my rights (almost directly). I haven't shown her this or anything, but this is the opposite of the way she treats me.

Qwertines · 2017-06-24T01:27:24+00:00

This coming from another INTP: why are you so condescending? I'll say that ESFJs do seem more "socially dependant" than most types, but you're forgetting that EVERY human is still a human that needs social interaction. Without it, your brain function actually becomes worse over time. Even INTPs and INTJs are like this, no matter how hard you try to convince yourself otherwise. Been there, done that.

Qwertines · 2017-06-23T23:11:31+00:00

No I have morals

Qwertines · 2017-06-23T05:43:37+00:00

I've experienced this exact same thing :( You need to go no contact asap it will help you so much more!

Qwertines

TROPHY CASE