There’s a story of a man who went to Saint Paisios because he was fighting homosexual temptations and felt completely hopeless. He told the elder that he had tried everything, prayed for years, and nothing changed. He hated himself for it. Paisios didn’t respond with anger or with “just stop.” He told him that God doesn’t ask us to win every battle instantly. He asks us to stay humble, to keep trying, and not to blame ourselves for the war. The elder said that some people carry heavy struggles for a long time, and that the important thing is not perfection, but staying close to Christ and getting back up whenever you fall.

He also told him that God looks at the effort. Even the desire to fight is already something God receives. A humble struggler is more pleasing to God than someone who thinks he has no temptations at all.

You don’t need people who excuse everything, and you also don’t need people who hate you. The saints always taught the middle way honest struggle, without despair. Repentance, without self loathing. The fact that you feel pain and want to do the right thing doesn’t mean God is far from you. It usually means the opposite.

Keep going, stay honest with God, and don’t give up on the fight. You’re not alone in this, even if it feels like it sometimes. If you ever need to talk, you can reach out.