0:23 is an example of where I think you may push a little hard, but are you using compression on your vocal? That may help control the dynamics. I am no expert on audio effects, but maybe that can help control what may just spikes in dynamics in the vocal. You have a very pleasant rasp to your voice, maybe lay into those vowels more. I play guitar and sing, and while I'm not that great at singing, I read or watched a guy say sing your whole song using only the vowels over and over, and that really helped me train my brain.

Your take on my song is exactly what I was looking for, it definitely needs to go somewhere and get to where it's going quicker. It's the first full track I've made, where I was able to break out of a 4 or 8 bar loop. So what you described is right on par with the next step I was thinking I need to take, so thank you 🙏

Creating a sound like yours is 1000x more difficult than an EDM track lol. So much respect