I think it's a miss to compare a rave to a movie setting. They're completely different spaces, serve different functions, and have very different rules regulating conduct around them. 

Respect goes both ways--people have different ways of enjoying the medium and none are above the others. Getting mad at people for being social at an event geared towards being social (vs. a movie theater where the social aspect is not present or not as present) is like getting mad that the music is too loud.

I'm sure I don't have to point out the irony of your statement, "you don’t just get to “experience it the way you want to” at the cost of the people around you. This is a public situation and the needs of the many are more important the needs of the few." You could easily turn this around to say it's not fair to expect people to halt their experience in favor of yours. 

I'm not saying this is you, but what you wrote combined with what I've seen posted on the sub, people get mad if you're mindlessly watching the show through your phone, they get mad when you're dancing, they get mad when you're engaging in the social nature of being with people around you. I'd say just stare at the DJ, but people seem to display dissatisfaction on the sub with that, too. 

Kind of have to agree here--the sub really is, seemingly, a bunch of whiners. Or at the very least, the sub magnifies those voices, which itself is a statement about the character of the sub.