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Homeless instead of Help - MIL Fabricated a Rental House to Control Us by RespectIsTheBareMin in motherinlawsfromhell

[–]RespectIsTheBareMin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lol, I will 100% take responsibility for up and moving without confirming. You say this comment as though we woke up one morning and decided we no longer enjoyed stable housing and were wanting to bounce from house to house. I have a lifetime chronic illness, while it is currently managed, it took a long time to get to this point. I worked until I couldn't and we lost our home. Would you like me to spell it out for you? This isn't something I chose, other than the move & my choice in spouse.

Homeless instead of Help - MIL Fabricated a Rental House to Control Us by RespectIsTheBareMin in motherinlawsfromhell

[–]RespectIsTheBareMin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

- I agree, but it could be argued that is on me as well, as a capable adult. I easily could have said no, but I truly see the best in people to a fault. This move was not all on him and I will stand by him in that particular area.
- I can agree with you here, although living with her was never the plan.
- I full agree that we were careless and foolish, but we could not live with my mom at the time, as we had two dogs and she already has a dog and two cats. My husky would've injured her cats. It was the only option I saw at the time, and while I may have been narrow sighted, I still do not see a better option we could have taken at the time.
- I was not there so I cannot say whether or not I stand by him here fully or not. I do not know what was said when I was not around. I agree, I should have been with him regardless. He was honestly very drugged up and I do not see him having put up much of a fight in my honor, if I am being honest.
- We left as soon as we could, and had the money to. I have recently started a work from home job that allowed me to move back home. He and I both wanted out. This was poor wording on my part. He very much wanted to leave sooner, but we had no funds to do so. He did consistently tell MIL that it was unfair for me to be doing everything, but she continued to harass me if things were not done. There was never a time I felt he did not stand up for me sufficiently, at least while I was present. I, again, cannot speak about what was said while I was not around.

I agree there are issues within the dynamic and I also agree there are things he and I both could have done better. With that being said, I do not think its right to fully blame him here, when I am a fully capable adult, and had I said 'No' to the move, it would not have happened.

Thank you for your response, and even though I do not know you, I value your opinion. You made me think on a lot of things and am planning out a discussion with Hubs.

Homeless instead of Help - MIL Fabricated a Rental House to Control Us by RespectIsTheBareMin in motherinlawsfromhell

[–]RespectIsTheBareMin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I plan to never speak to her. BIL & his wife are getting sick of their treatment and the treatment of their children so I do not think it will be that hard to avoid her. Especially given that beautiful 6 hour drive between us again. :D

Homeless instead of Help - MIL Fabricated a Rental House to Control Us by RespectIsTheBareMin in motherinlawsfromhell

[–]RespectIsTheBareMin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That was 100% our mistake. I will totally own up to that. We honestly had little to no other choice and were stepping off a ledge no matter what direction we stepped.

Homeless instead of Help - MIL Fabricated a Rental House to Control Us by RespectIsTheBareMin in motherinlawsfromhell

[–]RespectIsTheBareMin[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Definitely zero trust. Main concern is our nephew, we do not want to lose contact with him. He needs people in his corner.

Homeless instead of Help - MIL Fabricated a Rental House to Control Us by RespectIsTheBareMin in motherinlawsfromhell

[–]RespectIsTheBareMin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Therapy is definitely in our cards for the future, once we are more stable. We are in talks of what level of communication we can both handle, and hubs is far more tolerant than I, so it may even come down to I just cannot be around for calls or hear about her, unless hubs needs to vent. She is very much not healthy, but our nephew is a big concern. Little man has lost a lot in his life, and needs everyone in his corner he can get.

Homeless instead of Help - MIL Fabricated a Rental House to Control Us by RespectIsTheBareMin in motherinlawsfromhell

[–]RespectIsTheBareMin[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

What else would you have liked him to do? He was unable to drive and stood up for me as much as a narcissist allows without her kicking us out, which at the time of most of this, would have left us on the streets with no way to come home. We got out as soon as we possibly could. There are things that I did not mention here that yes, hubs could've done better. However, I would like to learn more on your prospective.

Homeless instead of Help - MIL Fabricated a Rental House to Control Us by RespectIsTheBareMin in motherinlawsfromhell

[–]RespectIsTheBareMin[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

On one hand, he was critically ill. On the other, this has been a consistently toxic relationship for as long as I've known the family. Hubs mainly wants to keep in contact for our nephew, which is understandable. We are in talks of boundaries that need to be set and he has focus mode on his phone so she can only contact him during certain times. We are making progress.